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#1
Police say a man in the US has been arrested after receiving sexual favours from a vacuum at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports a 29-year-old man was arrested last week near Detroit, Michigan.

Reports from the US say a police sergeant confirmed a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash.

An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act with the vacuum.

The suspect is being held in a county jail.


http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/odd/5090611/man-sex-car-wash

As you do.
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#3
First a bike, then a table, now this. What next?
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#6
Wait...that's illegal?
If it is, then lock me up because I'm a proud vacuum sexer.
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Listen to this man. His 2 ideas in five minutes have shat all over your serious ideas.
#7
dude just buy a hooker save yourself the embarassment
i can always get plastic surgery, diet, work out more and a ton of other stuff to make me look better on the outside but no matter what you do youl ALWAYS be ugly on the inside.
#9
what the **** is this? First a guy ****s a picnic table, then a car, and now a car wash vacuum?

EDIT: (all different people)
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#11
this brings a whole new meaning to having sex with hose

cwutididthar?
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Dude your leetness is maximum.
Seriously if you leave UG without becoming a mod, I will kill someone.
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This is turning into fap-to-amazingfretman's-love-a-thon
#13
Quote by anarchy007
dude just buy a hooker save yourself the embarassment

Better yet, just have a fat wank and be done with it. Saves a couple bucks, too
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#14
Um.... they make fake vaginas for that. Or hookers.... or thumbs...
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#16
This is the kind of person that makes every American look stupid. Sex with a vacuum cleaner? Awful, but creativity points.
BRIAN. SCHNEIDER.
#17
Quote by monkeysintheday
This is the kind of person that makes every American look stupid. Sex with a vacuum cleaner? Awful, but creativity points.



Yeah that's a stereotype in the making.


Damn us americans having sex with inanimate objects!
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#18
Why did he have to go to the car wash? Does he not have a vacuum at home?
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#19
I really like how they put it. Arrested for "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum cleaner"


As if the vacuum was offering it to him.
#20
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
I really like how they put it. Arrested for "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum cleaner"


As if the vacuum was offering it to him.


haha Yeah. There were some comments on that page I thought because there was a lot of debate whether or not it should be considered rape or something.
Quote by Ed Hunter
I took out a fly with my jet of piss once. I felt like God!



“This is ridiculous; my job is to sit here and do this bloo-loo-loo-loo, bloo-loo-loo-loo” - Paul Gilbert on sweep picking.
#21
Aww man, first I get arrested for ****ing that vacuum now it's all over the internet!
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#23
Quote by ling_yu
what is the world coming cumming too?
*fixed*
Quote by Austin_Scharosc
Why did he have to go to the car wash? Does he not have a vacuum at home?
i'm sure he does have a vacuum at home. what, you never heard of 'gettin some strange'?
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#24
This makes me believe I can now become a pimp and my hoes will be Vaccuums! The profit would be amazing. I dont have to throw a bone to the Hoes to keep em working for me. The only money I would spend is buying the vaccuums. Well, I would need to hire someone to maintain them for me. I'm still gonna be RICH! Patten Pending!
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#25
i just found a new Hero
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#26
God can you do ANYTHING in this country anymore?!

Now your gonna tell me I cant have sex with a block of swiss cheese on a park bench. >=(
#27
Quote by CaptainRon
Then there are always cars.


What...the...fuck...

For once in my life I am at a loss for words.
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#28
receiving sexual favours

This implies that, after some lengthy negotiation, the man convinced the vacuum to perform oral on him.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#29
Quote by Xiaoxi
This implies that, after some lengthy negotiation, the man convinced the vacuum to perform oral on him.


Hmm the man is onto something.. He could use you in court.
#30
Quote by MetalMessiah665
what the **** is this? First a guy ****s a picnic table, then a car, and now a car wash vacuum?

EDIT: (all different people)



HEY. HEY. HEY. That guy sexed a table in MY town.
There is nothing to do here, and that just makes it obvious.
#31
^can you elaborate on this picnic table fvcking im hearing so much about?
and guys i think we are all missing the real issue here. everyone is assuming it was consensual. there's no way the cops arrested him simply for having sex. it must have been rape.
Quote by Sonicxlover
I once told a Metallica fan I liked Megadeth, and he stabbed me 42 times.
#32
Quote by Xiaoxi
This implies that, after some lengthy negotiation, the man convinced the vacuum to perform oral on him.

sigd
#33
Hmmm, perhaps it's just around my town, but all of the car wash vacuum hoses here have openings that are really flat. I don't really see how this could work.
#34
Dammit people. Control your hormones!
I will soon perish from this lethal injection called love.
#35
Quote by jimtaka
Hmmm, perhaps it's just around my town, but all of the car wash vacuum hoses here have openings that are really flat. I don't really see how this could work.

i think the flat thing is an attachment
#36
There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.
#37
Quote by scissormetimber
i think the flat thing is an attachment

or did it ever occur to you that maybe he has a pancake dick? hmm? you are so goddamn insensitive you know that
Quote by Sonicxlover
I once told a Metallica fan I liked Megadeth, and he stabbed me 42 times.
#39
EPIC THREAD!

I've been LOL ing all the way through, especially Xiaoxi's comment
#40
Quote by Austin_Scharosc
Why did he have to go to the car wash? Does he not have a vacuum at home?


Car wash vacuums have more sucking power I guess lol. One of my best friends is going to college in detroit... She better watch out lol
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