#1
White sand on the central seas,
Salt baked on my skin.
Birds fly down the western shoreline,
As the tide comes rollin’ in.


I’ve got a little place up the road from here,
Where I like to go and rest my head.
It’s got a roof, it’s got four walls,
And It’s got a four post bed.
There ain’t no TV, there ain’t no pool,
Driveways got no fancy cars.
But it’s easy to see that I’ve got what I need,
And it’s enough by far.


You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to buy the rain,
To find the pot of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.


My treasure chest isn’t packed to impress,
With all the things that you might consider the best.
My day to day may be your complete mess,
But if you ask me, I’m just blessed.
Too blessed to be stressed.
Too blessed to be stressed.


You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to buy the rain,
To find the pot of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.

You may not believe it,
There are some who can’t perceive it.
But I can guarantee,
I found my bliss for free.

In the end,
I’m in your hands my friend.
Your heart of gold and the treasures you bleed.
As my time draws near,
While you’re standing here.
I’m a rich man indeed.

You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to buy the rain,
To find the pot of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.
#2
I thought this was a great song and this was my favorite part.

In the end,
I’m in your hands my friend.
Your heart of gold and the treasures you bleed.
As my time draws near,
While you’re standing here.
I’m a rich man indeed


I got the imagery and rode the wave of the story with no problem. If sung, the crowd will defiantly connect to this.
#3
Quote by IamOmega
I thought this was a great song and this was my favorite part.

In the end,
I’m in your hands my friend.
Your heart of gold and the treasures you bleed.
As my time draws near,
While you’re standing here.
I’m a rich man indeed


I got the imagery and rode the wave of the story with no problem. If sung, the crowd will defiantly connect to this.



Thanks IamOmega, I really appreciate that. Ive been trying to write songs for about 4 or 5 years now and this was probably the first that I have ever really finished and felt comfortable with. I was a little self consious about posting these lyrics but Im really glad to here that somebody enjoys them.
#4
Quote by Aquaman788
White sand on the central seas,
Salt baked on my skin. Love this image
Birds fly down the western shoreline,
As the tide comes rollin’ in.


I’ve got a little place up the road from here, Maybe take out the word 'little'
Where I like to go and rest my head.
It’s got a roof, it’s got four walls,
And It’s got a four post bed.
There ain’t no TV, there ain’t no pool,
Driveways got no fancy cars.
But it’s easy to see that I’ve got what I need,
And it’s enough by far.
Nice little rhythm you've got going on here; you can tell it goes to music. You have relaxed, easy language going on, which is fine but it feels a bit off with the style of the first verse.

You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to buy the rain,
To find the pot of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.
While the idea in the lines "You don't have to buy the rain to find the pot of gold" is great, I feel like it sounds cheesy in the form that it's written in. I think it would help to reword it. Definitely keep the concept though.

My treasure chest isn’t packed to impress,
With all the things that you might consider the best.
My day to day may be your complete mess,
But if you ask me, I’m just blessed.
Too blessed to be stressed.
Too blessed to be stressed.


You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to buy the rain,
To find the pot of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.

You may not believe it,
There are some who can’t perceive it.
But I can guarantee,
I found my bliss for free.

In the end,
I’m in your hands my friend.
Your heart of gold and the treasures you bleed.
As my time draws near,
While you’re standing here.
I’m a rich man indeed.
Ah this verse is fantastic. I'm sure it will be a crowd-pleaser for the song.

You don’t have to be rich,
To be a rich man, no.
You don’t have to buy the rain,
To find the pot of gold.
If you give up,
On what you’re hunting for.
You can find it all waiting for you,
Right at home.
Right at home.

You've got a nice easy-going tune here, man. It's lovely as is; I hope some of the crit can come of use.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

Last edited by vintage x metal at Oct 20, 2008,
#5
Thanks alot for the suggestions, I will definetely take them into consideration as I continue to work the song out.