#1
choker.

warm thin blankets, hogging
the heat from her body, we
embrace and kiss, a tongue
or something similar, we say
goodbye, and we smile. i
drive home by myself, it's
two-thirty in the morning,
and I listen to a song that
reminds me of another girl,
another head of hair,
another soft hand with
thin wrists. I drive home in silence
wondering if she does
the same thing. I drive home
hoping she t-bones me,
so we can both die
not knowing.
www.facebook.com/longlostcomic
Last edited by Something_Vague at Oct 21, 2008,
#4
yeah good but effortless. Write something and take more than half a minute on it. Saying that I would read this again, like tomorrow.
#5
That ending really didn't give me the feeling that the guy hopes she 't-bones' him so they die without knowing he's got another girl.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#6
The best piece on here in ages. Full of tepid, snarling truths and honest, humbling ideas.
I read this once and I fell in love with it. I shall screw your writing tonight.
I don't see the relation of the title to the piece though, must be something I am missing. There are one or two little words or couplet of words that I wasn't overly keen on, but I don't think I need to mention them, in honesty. Somone may, and you may notice them yourself but felt it unecessary to change or remove them. You have your reasons and I trust your abilities.

Digitally Clean
#10


that's how I feel and how I am doing.

Decide which one I am, the squid or the man.
www.facebook.com/longlostcomic
#11
pleasemakeagoddamnbooksoicanbuyit.pleasepleasepleasepleaseffsdoitalready.

/groupie
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#14
now I'm cranky cause I can't crit it. I can't even think of anything to say. "I liked it" - too boring. "It rocked" - too simple. "I feel like i just had the biggest orgasm in my life and then realised i had the ability to do it over and over again without stopping" - too wtf?

A really beautiful piece, I agree with both #1synth and DigUpHerBones. I have no complaints at all, except its too good.
#15
this was good, Matt.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.