#1
do you guys know any good musician jokes for example (not very good but)
How do you know the stage is even?
Drools running out of both sides of the drummers mouth
#2
it's funny coz drummers are spastiks
Sig space available, give me some praise
#4
how do u know thread is shit?
*witty answer*
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#6
What do you call a soprano that can read music? A Tenor.
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
-Frank Zappa

"Where words fail, music speaks."
-Hans Christian Andersen
#7
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb, none the piano player can do it with their left hand. OLOLOLOLOLOL

What's the definition of a semi tone, two alto saxes playing in unison. (a personal fave)
"Forget the rules. If it sounds good, it is good."
-Eddie Van Halen
#8
You know you're a guitarist when you play with your guitar's g string more than your girlfriend's.


Old...yet effective.
Last edited by goest at Oct 22, 2008,
#9
yeah

dude1-"i just bought a kirk hammet wah pedal"
dude2"really... it probably dosnt have an off button"
#12
why are there less guitarists playing?

because they're all online making gheyass threads like this one
#13
With 1 € how many concerts to you go?

two of 50 cent

another one...

Once apon a time there was a guy so anti-commercial, so anti-commercial, so anti-commercial (musical level) that instead of washing the dishes with Super Pop he used Super Indie....

It was a nice try tough...
Quote by supralightning
send your gf over to my place and ill give her a birthday present

Gear:
Fender Squier
SP-10 (i almost don't use it)
Boss DS-1
Boss RC-2 (very useful)
Boss GT-10 (hell yeah)
Good Headphones
Gameboy color


Lastfm
#15
baby, you'd better lower your pitch, 'cause right now, you're lookin' sharp!

#16
How do you make a guitarist stop playing?

Give him sheet music.

AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR

#17
Why was Pavarotti's family thrown out the funeral parlour?


They wanted the whole funeral for a Tenor.
Quote by mynamesedson
I asked my son he said nothing but he just asked me he wants a psyachatrist (spelling?) Because he heard voices calling out his name. What a freak.



Control your life through insanity.


Igneuspentheism
#18
How do you know when a drummers at the door?


The knock speeds up.
YellowGreenBlueRed


Quote by webbtje
You live in a ruler, the only child of trouser water (?); it's very fantastic, and salami!
#19
What do *insert group of musicians here* use as contraception?

Their personality.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#21
Humor: Guitarist Jokes

An acoustic guitarist is walking on the beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle. The cork falls off and out pops a genie.

"Thank you, oh Master for releasing me from my prison of the last 300 years" the genie exclaims, grateful to the acoustic guitarist. "And because of your kindness" the genie continues, "I will grant you three wishes - but I must caution you that whatever you ask for, every electric guitarist in the world will receive double" explains the genie.

"Not a problem" says the acoustic guitarist.

"Very well then, what shall your first wish be, my Master?"

"$10 million in small bills" says the acoustic guitarist unhesitatingly.

"Good choice, Master" and poof! Right there on the beach are piles and piles of $10s and $20s. And of course every electric guitarist in the world now has $20 million in their account.

"And your next wish, Master?"

"A brand new Taylor PS12C Presentation Series Guitar and presto! Right there on the beach is the most beautifully inlayed and superb sounding acoustic guitar he'd ever seen. And of course every electric guitarist now has two of these guitars in their living rooms, knowing of course that they aren't going to know what to do with one, much less two.

"You've made excellent choices thus far, Master. What is your final wish?"

The acoustic guitarist thinks for a minute, rubs his chin, squints at the bright sky, and says, "You know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

^ I love that ActiveBass site.
Last edited by TheWall27 at Oct 22, 2008,
#22
^ good 1
Quote by supralightning
send your gf over to my place and ill give her a birthday present

Gear:
Fender Squier
SP-10 (i almost don't use it)
Boss DS-1
Boss RC-2 (very useful)
Boss GT-10 (hell yeah)
Good Headphones
Gameboy color


Lastfm
#23
Quote by TheWall27
Humor: Guitarist Jokes

An acoustic guitarist is walking on the beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle. The cork falls off and out pops a genie.

"Thank you, oh Master for releasing me from my prison of the last 300 years" the genie exclaims, grateful to the acoustic guitarist. "And because of your kindness" the genie continues, "I will grant you three wishes - but I must caution you that whatever you ask for, every electric guitarist in the world will receive double" explains the genie.

"Not a problem" says the acoustic guitarist.

"Very well then, what shall your first wish be, my Master?"

"$10 million in small bills" says the acoustic guitarist unhesitatingly.

"Good choice, Master" and poof! Right there on the beach are piles and piles of $10s and $20s. And of course every electric guitarist in the world now has $20 million in their account.

"And your next wish, Master?"

"A brand new Taylor PS12C Presentation Series Guitar and presto! Right there on the beach is the most beautifully inlayed and superb sounding acoustic guitar he'd ever seen. And of course every electric guitarist now has two of these guitars in their living rooms, knowing of course that they aren't going to know what to do with one, much less two.

"You've made excellent choices thus far, Master. What is your final wish?"

The acoustic guitarist thinks for a minute, rubs his chin, squints at the bright sky, and says, "You know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

^ I love that ActiveBass site.


Best one so far.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
#24
Quote by boxerb
baby, you'd better lower your pitch, 'cause right now, you're lookin' sharp!



That is the best pickup line... EVER
#25
Shortened version of massive music joke

So G and D are in a bar, then suddenly Bb joins in
'Hey no minors'
And the bar is closed
Quote by mustaineNslash
i know this sounds stupid but...
wheres the sig button??

(sry)


#26
Why are so many guitarist jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.
Sunn O))):
Quote by Doppelgänger
You could always just sleep beside your refrigerator.

Guitar:
- Ibanez S670FM w/ JB
- Fender 'Lite Ash' Stratocaster
- Fender '72 Deluxe Telecaster
- Arbiter LP Jr. Doublecut
Amp:
- Laney VC15

'72 Tele Appreciation Group
RIP DIO
#28
What's the difference between and guitar and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.

Quote by Tom_hatton
There's one of these every 2 weeks or so.

SEARCH

FUCKING

BAR.



Forget what I said, this is the best joke so far.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
#29
How do you make a room with a guitarist and a pianist inside silent???

Take the sheet music from the pianist and give it to the guitarist.

Forza Juve


'e voglia 'e mettere rum, chi nasce strunz' nun po' addiventà babbà
#30
whats the difference between a clarinet and a bassoon?
You can hit a baseballl further with the bassoon

Whats the difference between a cello and a violin?
more firewood