#1
Alright, I'm quite the inexperienced songwriter but I thought I'd upload two of my pieces for some thoughts and feedback.

The first, a gothic/doom-kinda song is more or less done. The first three minutes might be a bit boring (the verses are supposed to have speaking in them), but I'd be glad if people bear with me and listen through the rest of the song as well. And yes, I know I suck at writing drums


EDIT: cleaned up post, new version of song
Attachments:
and so I walk.zip
Last edited by descara at Jan 21, 2009,
#2
The first was fairly cool, really atmospheric.

The verse was good, but the intro/chorus was really excellent. The fast part was okay, and I'm glad you threw it in to keep the song from getting monotonous. The "tempo change" bit was excellent as well.

My only complaint is the atrocious transition from the fast chords to the doom parts again and the weird drum configurations.

Really, that's all.

If you want to crit mine, it's the one below yours "Revelations..."
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#3
Tyvm for the feedback. I assume that "the atrocoious transition" means it was too abrupt? I kinda feel this way as well, not the least when playing it :P I'll definitely have to find some way to make it smoother.

I'll absolutely check out yours as well, right now though I really have to go to bed.. 1 am and I'm supposed to get up early ^^
#4
Ah, okay. But, yeah, maybe give it a drum fill or an open chord if your lazy
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#5
"And So I Walk Towards the End" was pretty cool. I don't really listen to stuff like that so it was interesting and refreshing to me. I would say that if you're still in a developing state with the song you might want to add some faster part with a change in key to throw an emotionally charged climax in, as that is sort of the way I think about how it could be better. (Think Trivium in style for what I'm trying to get at I guess). Also, and this is simply because it's "Where I come from" musically, SOLO!!!!
(something with a wah?)


Also, on the folk song I would suggest breaking the song down into a guitar duet featuring tight chunky rhythms, (a la Metallica, simply because that's where I come from as well).
Sorry if my suggestions don't fit into what you were thinking, musically, when you composed these, I'm just telling you what popped into my head when I was constructively modifying the song in my head as I listened to it.
Last edited by IROn 5L1nKY at Oct 22, 2008,
#6
i would use changes in the drums (like hi-hat triplets, quick bass drum stuff) here and there to make it more interesting, as of yet i think its a bit dull at first, but its good

also, in the "doomy part" i suggest making an 8th note bass line or something to make it more interesting yet still slow and doomy
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Last edited by Nihil at Oct 22, 2008,
#7
Alright, uploading an updated version of the first song. Added some synth arrangments, some detail to the drums on the "fast part" and tried making the verses more intresting.

Thanks for the suggestions & opinions everyone!
#8
Well first of all, this is really down-tempo and chill, my first listen through. The fast part at first seemed forced... like you just included it because you didn't like the song being all slow and doomy, I don't think it really goes, but if that's what your going for, go ahead and do it, it doesn't sound bad. Just forced.

As for the rest, I'd get rid of the constant 32nds in that fast part, maybe change up that melody/strumming pattern a little bit, it has potential.

This song is pretty cool, a little down-tempo for my tastes, but overall not bad.

7.5/10
4/4 is just so boring. <_<