#1
Sup,
I'm new to this site so Hi
And just so you don't ask, these are not random lines they are actually about something....not war.
Please give me some feedback so i can improve, thanks

---The Dead Don't Lie---

We're marching down this broken line
With our iron fists and our heads held high
And you know you'll have to run through us
Cause we'll never ever end

How proudly we parade the streets
Your hand in death that's where we'll meet
Heaven was never an option for us
We'll sing our lullabies

Just like a war we bow our heads
Just like a war we're screaming
Just like a war we shoot the dead
Just to make sure that they're not breathing

Our uniforms don't match our mind sets
Why am i red and you are so blue?
A song to wake us from our dreams
We'll scream our last goodbyes

The dead don't lie
So go ahead an ask me anything tonight
The sun stays still for our wasted battlecries
What's in your line of fire?

Just like a war we bow our heads
Just like a war we're screaming
Just like a war we shoot the dead
Just to make sure that they're not breathing

The dead don't lie
So go ahead and preach those promises tonight
It's hard to see when the sun is in my eyes
A white flag, is that what you were looking for
In your line of fire?

Just like a war we shoot the dead
Just like a war we shoot the dead
Just like a war we shoot the dead
#2
"Your hand in death that's where we'll meet"
i love that bit.

and i noticed you used ever right after never.

you should not do that.

unless that line is going to be screamed.

good, very good.
Your light bulb knows everything you do in your room.