title says all.

1)post an example of the worst you've heard.
2)what you think would be the worst, or what you've actually said.

For example, i work at a restaurant with a few people of questionalbe character. Drinking on shift, drug deals in the bathroom, and sex in the basement is not unusual. As i walked on line from taking the trash out to the dumpster, a friend of mine says to our manager, "and then i put the pickle down my pants".

As you may guess, there was a little awkward silence, and a hella load of lulz.

"Then he stuck his penis in me"

Turns out they were talking about grapes.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
'...so you see THAT'S the sure way to win the lottery.'
Sig space available, give me some praise
... and so I said "that's not my wife-- thats my lunch!"


Quote by TEK34
I have frequent conversations with girls about masturbation.

u lucky bastard.. u mean them masturbating right?
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..

I didn't walk in on this, I just wasn't paying attention for a while:

"So he locked the door and forced me onto the bed and-'
"Wait, he raped you?"
"No, I enjoyed it too much to be rape."
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
Quote by will123456789
u lucky bastard.. u mean them masturbating right?

LOL how iss that lucky

wait........ will you lick my feet if i tell you I do masturbate girls and move on to more
Im quite proud of that LOL

Quote by Unreal445
i found it funny that the pit reported it faster than sky news

Beneath The Fallen
I remember overhearing some odd ones at work, walking to the toilets I heard:

"So then he told me about the time he was somewhere in Asia and this woman he saw...."

Then on the way out, the same person said:

"....but then he just covered my shoes in piss."
Quote by Karvid
You win this thread. And UG. I haven't actually lol'd at a post in a really long time. Thanks for changing that. I expect a sig

He expected this.

Something you definitely need to know
Quote by TEK34
I have frequent conversations with girls about masturbation.

thats what she said
Quote by steven seagull
Everytime you feel your attention waning go the mirror and say outloud to yourself...
"I am Rockasaurus Sex...I have the most awesome username in existence and I will ROCK!"
I had a converation with a girl i rarley talk to about masturbation.

a deeply disturbing conversation
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
"So then she helped me wipe off all the white stick stuff..."
he was talking about glue....i think
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you cause
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view