#1
Yet again this is a piece i wrote a fair while ago - January if i remember rightly. I'm leaving out the background on this one - i want your opinions, what it made you feel and think about.
C4C, of course.
Rain


Never let the cloud burst over your head,
there would always be someone there,
to hold that umbrella or stop you
from getting wet.

Yet even when the cloud bursts on you,
there is still shelter to be found.
Either the umbrella, or the friend
getting soaked by your side,
heading for the safety of the step.

Once the rain is gone we can get up,
bedraggled as we were, and start again.
Seeing the hope in the grey skies is a gift,
which i never let you forget.
Walking down the boulevard, the vendors gone.
Afraid of a bit of water.

The fact we could walk on means nothing,
through the rain, snow and wind.
Our lives too different, our goals the same.
Each to his own path followed to the grave.

All that can wait is the world of the dead,
but enough, I thought this for too long.
All we need are eternal puddles to jump into.

We can all be little again fulfilling Frosts' wish,
only to remember each others happiness.
Eternal joy under a rainbow coloured sun.
Originally Posted by venom0014
yeaaaaa, i love you zenmaestro in a non gay way

^Of course Venom, everybody does.

Originally Posted by Will_Minus
This guy knows the score.

You see? Someone knows the score.
Last edited by Zenmaestro at Oct 23, 2008,
#2
Rain


Never let the cloud burst over your head,
there would always be someone there,
to hold that umbrella or stop you
from getting wet.

Love the beginning; it sounds bitter (i don't know, judging by the rest of the poem, it its supposed to be but thats how it comes across in the tone). To me it revokes the idea of people under constant protection. The whole getting wet thing comes across as a metaphor for getting hurt/into trouble. just my opinion.

Yet even when the cloud bursts on you,
there is still shelter to be found.
Either the umbrella, or the friend
getting soaked by your side,
heading for the safety of the step.

Again (intentional or not - thats the great thing about poetry) this comes across as bitter. Even when that person does get into trouble they still drag someone else down with them.

Once the rain is gone we can get up,
bedraggled as we were, and start again.
Seeing the hope in the grey skies is a gift,
which i never let you forget.
Walking down the boulevard, the vendors gone.
Afraid of a bit of water.

Sticking to my original ideas, this could be after the person has faced the consequences (the rain is gone). The vendors gone (friends/family?), afraid of a bit of water (of more trouble/hurt).

The fact we could walk on means nothing,
through the rain, snow and wind.
Our lives too different, our goals the same.
Each to his own path followed to the grave.

All that can wait is the world of the dead,
but enough, I thought this for too long.
All we need are eternal puddles to jump into.

The fact that we could walkk on (get on with our lives), each to his own path (perhaps these friends are no longer friends). The all that can wait part is pretty creepy and conjurs thoughts of depression/suicidal thoughts. We all need eternal puddles (the past - we all need to have scars to remind us).

We can all be little again fulfilling Frosts' wish,
only to remember each others happiness.
Eternal joy under a rainbow coloured sun.

We can all act like nothings happened, dwell in the past, be dillusional and ignore the truth. Why live in such a torn world when the past was rainbow coloured and happy?

Gotta say, I think this is gr8
Well done and keep on writing this kind of stuff. Its excellent.

#3
Rain


Never let the cloud burst over your head,
there would always be someone there,
to hold that umbrella or stop you
from getting wet.

I keep re-reading this to understand exactly where its headed, but the only really emotion i get from it is hope and renewal.


Yet even when the cloud bursts on you,
there is still shelter to be found.
Either the umbrella, or the friend
getting soaked by your side,
heading for the safety of the step.

I read this as "even when things go bad, your not on your own"

Once the rain is gone we can get up,
bedraggled as we were, and start again.
Seeing the hope in the grey skies is a gift,
which i never let you forget.
Walking down the boulevard, the vendors gone.
Afraid of a bit of water.

I really like this image of a clear, wet, puddle filled street - empty. beautiful imagary.


The fact we could walk on means nothing,
through the rain, snow and wind.
Our lives too different, our goals the same.
Each to his own path followed to the grave.

Rain, snow and wind i read as varying problems and encounters - each person with a different problem, but ultimately everyone wants the same happiness.


All that can wait is the world of the dead,
but enough, I thought this for too long.
All we need are eternal puddles to jump into.

The only sure thing that awaits is death.

We can all be little again fulfilling Frosts' wish,
only to remember each others happiness.
Eternal joy under a rainbow coloured sun.

I couldn't quite fathom out the first two of this last stanza, but i have to say the end line is fantastic and a great way to finish this off.

Loved it.
And Like That. He was Gone.

My Lyrics

Love
#4
Never let the cloud burst over your head,
there would always be someone there,
to hold that umbrella or stop you
from getting wet.

like it,all bout protecting the person

Yet even when the cloud bursts on you,
there is still shelter to be found.
Either the umbrella, or the friend
getting soaked by your side,
heading for the safety of the step.

and you're always there for them

Once the rain is gone we can get up,
bedraggled as we were, and start again.
Seeing the hope in the grey skies is a gift,
which i never let you forget.
Walking down the boulevard, the vendors gone.
Afraid of a bit of water.

no matter what we're through we get back up

The fact we could walk on means nothing,
through the rain, snow and wind.
Our lives too different, our goals the same.
Each to his own path followed to the grave.

we have the same interestantes/goals

All that can wait is the world of the dead,
but enough, I thought this for too long.
All we need are eternal puddles to jump into.

We can all be little again fulfilling Frosts' wish,
only to remember each others happiness.
Eternal joy under a rainbow coloured sun.

keep re-readng,trying to figure it out...very nice poem


9/10 for me


c4c?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=984535
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.