Page 1 of 3
#1
Ok so Im wasted as shits right now and i come home. I have my moms car so i park in the garage cuz thats where her car goes. Theres an entracne to the attic in the gargage. The only other entrance is in tmy parents clost. So I pull into the garage and see that the attic is open. I stared at it for a second thinking "wait, whys that open?" then i hear a weird noise and run inside, locking the doors.

Am I gonna get raped? Im seriouslyt scared tio death right now. If you guys never hear from me again, p,lz call 911 and tell thjem i was murdered.
Quote by Yakult
If I get a boner I generally pass out due to the massive amount of blood having to be redirected from my brain


Quote by DubStar92
I like to video record myself when I'm drunk. It's like a mini-movie. I love fapping to the sex scene.
#2
It's mike.h.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#3
Quote by Ktool The Girth
I have my moms car so i park in the garage cuz thats where her car goes.

I lol'ed.

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#4
Mike H is gonna kill you with his valveking.

Fractal Axe-Fx Ultra
EBMM JP7 Dargies Delight II
Manuel Rodriguez C Cedar Top
#5
fail for driving drunk
Quote by bucktheduck

Call me troll, call me psychopath. In the end, I shall stand above you all as you drown in a pool of sex and filth. It will explode your corrupted bodies, and I will walk above the wreckage as a pure man.


Quote by DieGarbageMan

Haggard13 i are impressed
#6
Yeah. You're about to be raped. Hard.
That Cheap Fucking Smile Carries You To Bed

Those Lips Are Social Suicide But I Just Wanna See You Dead.
#7
It is your punishment for drink driving.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#8
Dude why did you lock the doors he is prolly already in your house trough your moms closet.
#10
Wait, so, there's a possible rapist () inside your house, so instead of turning around and going outside, you run into your house, possibly making a lot of noise whilst doing so?

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#12
Que?

Seriously though, I have the phone in my hand. If you don't reply in 5 minutes, I'm going to call the cops telling them that "Ktool The Girth" from The Pit was murdered...
#13
if the door was open, one would assume the rapist is already inside...

and the noise... chances are you ran over someone putting something in the garage.

explain the noise, the bump on the way in, and the open door
*Enter Sig Here*
#14
Quote by eddiethehead888
Que?

Seriously though, I have the phone in my hand. If you don't reply in 5 minutes, I'm going to call the cops telling them that "Ktool The Girth" from The Pit was murdered...


That Cheap Fucking Smile Carries You To Bed

Those Lips Are Social Suicide But I Just Wanna See You Dead.
#16
I am in your moms closet right now, i am sending this message from my phone.


btw your mom has nice clothes.

FAP*FAP*FAP*FAP*FAP*


Please dont get raped!!!!
#17
=D

So seriously, who thinks "awww shit, there's a rapist in my house... Let's still go inside. I'ma tell UG and see what the pit thinks..."

???

Bahaha, seriously, this had better not be for real :P
Quote by death_metaller
**** burzum XD

there i said it...kinda

edit: i do realise they are not here...so i kinda didnt say it...




fail
#18
Why the hell are you on the Pit rather than ringing the police?
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#20
Quote by jake911
The pit could get more done in a hour than the police could in a week.


Yes but we specialise in carrying out rapes, not stopping them.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#21
Quote by Under_The_Oath
=D

So seriously, who thinks "awww shit, there's a rapist in my house... Let's still go inside. I'ma tell UG and see what the pit thinks..."

???


Even better question, who sees an attic door open and automatically thinks "There must be a rapist in my house."
That Cheap Fucking Smile Carries You To Bed

Those Lips Are Social Suicide But I Just Wanna See You Dead.
#22
K. I'm on the phone. Does anyone know how to pronounce Ktool?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#23
All I was trying to do was get my fucking hedge clippers back...christ...
#24
It's the Thread killer! Again!
Gear
Guitars
PRS CE22
Epiphone Les Paul Custom
B.C.Rich Warlock Bronze series (raffle prize)
Pedals
Crybaby from Hell
Blackstar HT-Dual
Line 6 DL-4

Amp
Cornford Roadhouse 30
#25
Quote by Jack Off Jill
K. I'm on the phone. Does anyone know how to pronounce Ktool?


Kay tool.

Quote by death_metaller
**** burzum XD

there i said it...kinda

edit: i do realise they are not here...so i kinda didnt say it...




fail
#26
Quote by neopowell
Yes but we specialise in carrying out rapes, not stopping them.

the best defense is a good offense

rape the raper, and he'll thinktwice about messing with a pitdweller
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#28
Quote by Under_The_Oath
Kay tool.


I had to read that three times before I realized you weren't condescending and insulting me.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#30
Quote by bowdyyz69
oh soz i let the cat out for a shit n 4got to close the doors
my bad


Who the fuck let's their cat out to go shit?
#31
Quote by jake911
The pit could get more done in a hour than the police could in a week.

I am so sigging that
"In the end they will know we have rocked" (Zander lee)

"Nick Grundy have a wonderful afterlife"

Quote by Izz
Get a hooker AND listen to your own music?


Quote by jake911
The pit could get more done in a hour than the police could in a week.
#32
I was dropping off some sandwiches.
Quote by goest
Who the fuck let's their cat out to go shit?

I don't like shit in the house personally, but if that's your preference I'm not going to stop you.
Quote by fukyu1980
LOL ! muther fuker i was gonna say that LOL!
#33
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I had to read that three times before I realized you weren't condescending and insulting me.


Of course not. I'm not about to pick a fight with Jack off Jill
Quote by death_metaller
**** burzum XD

there i said it...kinda

edit: i do realise they are not here...so i kinda didnt say it...




fail
#34
Quote by Metal_Rich
I was dropping off some sandwiches.

I don't like shit in the house personally, but if that's your preference I'm not going to stop you.



Ever heard of a litterbox?
#35
Quote by goest
Who the fuck let's their cat out to go shit?


i dont have a cat, i dont friggin know what you do with em
#36
Quote by goest


Ever heard of a litterbox?

I used one when I first got my cat, and when he was old enough to go outside I got rid of it. After that, it's just a waste of time and money cleaning it out.

Anyway, yeah he's in the closet right now.
Quote by fukyu1980
LOL ! muther fuker i was gonna say that LOL!
#37
Quote by Metal_Rich
I was dropping off some sandwiches.


Quote by bowdyyz69
oh soz i let the cat out for a shit n 4got to close the doors
my bad


Quote by goest
All I was trying to do was get my fucking hedge clippers back...christ...


Quote by jake911
I am in your moms closet right now, i am sending this message from my phone.


btw your mom has nice clothes.

FAP*FAP*FAP*FAP*FAP*


Oh you don't have a rapist in your house. It's just a bunch of UGers. Apparently they all know where you live.
"When I grow up, I wanna be a vampire bat"

#39
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
the best defense is a good offense

rape the raper, and he'll thinktwice about messing with a pitdweller


We of the pit are truly the acknowledged experts in surprise sex.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#40
Quote by Metal_Rich
I used one when I first got my cat, and when he was old enough to go outside I got rid of it. After that, it's just a waste of time and money cleaning it out.

Anyway, yeah he's in the closet right now.


Well then...glad you got rid of the cat if it's too much of an inconvenience to take care of it.
Page 1 of 3