#1
I don't normally post lyrics up (prolly for a good reason)...but today I felt like sharing.... To get an idea, here's a few influences

Lacuna Coil
Godsmack
Staind

(so yeah, kinda like Rock/Hard Rock)...prolly cliched

Most guitar work has been developed for it, but I have no singer(s) , I can't sing worth shit, but I try....

and my comp keeps blocking my imports for some reason...

keep in mind that the word 'dead' isn't literal

Italicized=female singing and Bold for both

c4c.......Enjoi!



Lost forever
my light no longer shines
My life overturned
until the day you die

Just hear my words
ring through your head
I know I can't be
the one who's dead
I know, I know
It just cannot be
I know, I know
You're the deception of me
The deception of me

Gone forever
you never knew my bright side
And every time I'd let you in
you'd go run and hide

To let you know
It was for the best

Just hear my words
ring through your head
I know I can't be
the one who's dead
I know, I know
It just cannot be
I know, I know
You're the deception of me

When heaven opens its gates
I'll be there and patiently wait
for you

But it's all been just a lie
Nothing you do has been justified

Lets live life
the way it should be
Don't waste a day
I only wanted you to be free

Just hear my words
ring through your head
I know I can't be
the one who's dead
I know, I know
It just cannot be
I know, I know
You're the deception of me
Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum seueriorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
#2
i'm really surprised no one replied to this one yet.

You're the deception of me

the piece revolves around this phrase
but it has an odd wording
almost immature
it reminds me of "you're not the boss of me"

i don't have a suggestion for a fix
but i think this holds the song back from having a stronger impact.

Lets live life
the way it should be
Don't waste a day
I only wanted you to be free


the "voice" of this seems to change,
slightly in the third line,
more so, in the fourth.
and the meter in the fourth doesn't seem to be comfortable at all
particularly toward the end of the line.


all in all, the song isn't horrible.
but it doesn't -quite- gel into a seamless entity.
and there aren't any particularly noteworthy lines,
save for the one i didn't like.
maybe that one is actually the hook. idk.
Meadows
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