#1
Off we go!

So Divine

I love that feeling when you’re crying,
and I mean greetin’ your guts out,
so it feels like you can't stop:
can't stop even for a million quid
And someone makes you laugh
‘your hair’s a mess, tut tut’
It’s so small, you can’t believe it.
Laughing and crying together,
has to be when you’re most human,
All at the same time it’s...
It’s So Divine.
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#2
I had a bit of trouble with the tenses change. I'm not sure it did what you wanted it to do, if you even intended on it.

Other than that though, I really enjoy reading your stuff, it's very fresh and you have a very interesting perspective on a lot of things. It's like a new language. when you get to know someone's style a bit more, and suddenly things and words and ideas fall into place.

Yeah, that's all I have to say.
This is not a pipe
#3
I really enjoyed reading this, the grit of it, the unclean, roughed up edges sort of thing, like the second line, thats what I'm talking about, shakes things up a bit and the constant re-appearing of that sort of thing, makes it interesting to me, and makes me want to read the next line, in suspense ha ha, anyway, its nice, not a complaint from me.
#4
i always like your stuff, it's always "this is what it is" if that makes sense. It works because you want it to. God, I'm making no sense. Enjoyable, yet rough. I'll just be quiet
#5
I think this is the shortest piece I've read from you....It's a little different, and I do like it. Particularly towards the ending:

"Laughing and crying together,
has to be when you’re most human,
All at the same time it’s...
It’s So Divine."

I didn't really like the first couple of lines all that much, it just feels weird to the rest of the piece...just my opinion
Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
rumoresque senum seueriorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!
#6
I'm so un-poetic it hurts, lol. Thanks for saying nice things, if anyone wants returned crits leave links plllleaseeeeeeeeee.

I changed the tenses Mel, I wrote it in five minutes whilst drunk
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#7
This is very... sweet. It is something more than just your tender, sappy thoughts, it is quite a bit more complicated if you keep re-reading it. I really enjoyed it.

- "And someone makes you laugh
‘your hair’s a mess, tut tut’
It’s so small, you can’t believe it." - This section, I thought detacted from my reading process. It broke the flow. Not drastically, but enough to irritate.

Sorry I don't have a whole lot to say. I think quite a few people are finding it hard to come up with something critical of this.

Digitally Clean