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#1
...I'll ask here.

My girlfriend and I want to try anal sex, neither of use have tried it before so I could use some advice. If it helps, today I bought durex 2 in 1 massage gel. It can be used for both massages and as lubricant.

Thanks
***Short Sig***
#3
Quote by Fik0n
Stick it in her pooper.



Duh


Made by 'The Sloganizer' ----> «The Pit - be prepared.»

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#4
Do it, if it hurts, she can sit in an ice bucket.


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#6
Quote by Fik0n
Stick it in her pooper.


Now how did I know that would be the first reply...
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




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#7
I've been told it's just like vag sex, but tighter, dryer, doesn't feel good for the girl, and feels like your sticking your wang in a hole full of sand.

Have fun
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PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

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#9
Wait, which one of you will be the bitch?
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#10
Quote by daytripper75
your penis: --> o goes in her ass


pretty simple.


This is more accurate to size.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#11
Quote by PlayMadness
I've been told it's just like vag sex, but tighter, dryer, doesn't feel good for the girl, and feels like your sticking your wang in a hole full of sand.

Have fun


I bought lube man, read the first post.

Quote by daytripper75
your penis: -->
O goes in her ass


Oh I see, now I get it!

Quote by tayroar
Wait, which one of you will be the bitch?


I will be ****ing her in the ass, NOT the other way round.
***Short Sig***
#12
[quote="'[= Tom ="]']I bought lube man, read the first post.
So did they.
Quote by Les_Frederiksen
PlayMadness, you give me hope for mankind.

Quote by Darksucker
PlayMadness - Jesus 2.0

Quote by genghisgandhi
Society's doing great. There's a rise of people like PlayMadness. I feel pretty good about the way things are going.
#13
Isn't this part of the FAQ in the sex thread, closed or not?
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#15
[quote="'[= Tom ="]']

I will be ****ing her in the ass, NOT the other way round.

You should double check. I could see an awkward moment arising where she has a strap on already on and you have your penor all lubed up and you guys just have an awkward moment.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#16
most people think doggy style is the easiest way to go, but trust me lay her on her back and put it in the way. don't be scared to use the lube. you will need it. and it is awesome. so have fun
#18
Quote by tayroar
You should double check. I could see an awkward moment arising where she has a strap on already on and you have your penor all lubed up and you guys just have an awkward moment.


Yeah always be clear on what's going where. You don't want to end up being anally raped by your girlfriend.
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#19
Quote by RaY_TrEeS
most people think doggy style is the easiest way to go, but trust me lay her on her back and put it in the way. don't be scared to use the lube. you will need it. and it is awesome. so have fun


Cheers man
***Short Sig***
#21
Quote by Kensai
Yeah always be clear on what's going where. You don't want to end up being anally raped by your girlfriend.


I'm sure you as well as I have had these awkward moments arise.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#22
Goddamn I thought I'd never have to give this speech again...

The first thing you have to do is make sure that she uses the washroom just prior to sex. The dual reason for this is a) so you don't get shit on your dick, and b) if she doesn't, when you put it in her brain will mistake it for shit and she will run to the washroom.

The second thing is (assuming its her first time), finger her ass. The ass is just as tight as a virgin vagina, so unless your penis is roughly the width of a pencil, youll need to loosen it up a bit.

Then it's as easy as, slowly, sticking it in her pooper.

(And yes, do use the lubricant)
#23
[quote="'[= Tom ="]']...I'll ask here.

My girlfriend and I want to try anal sex, neither of use have tried it before so I could use some advice. If it helps, today I bought durex 2 in 1 massage gel. It can be used for both massages and as lubricant.

Thanks

sodomy?

Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

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Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#25
Quote by Våd Hamster
Closed?! WAT?!!


Well the sex thread was kinda pointless. Lets face it none of us are getting some anyway.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#26
Quote by tayroar
Well the sex thread was kinda pointless. Lets face it none of us are getting some anyway.


Speak for yourself...


...And for me. And the guy who posts next. And the one after. And so on and so forth.
#27
Quote by tayroar
Well the sex thread was kinda pointless. Lets face it none of us are getting some anyway.


Is that why it reached 235 pages?

I see Preid's point though. Oh well.


VÅDIT

^Although I haven't gotten any since last year, I can assure you I have plenty of experince with sex
#28
bloody sodomites you will go do hell where you will live in someones hot ass after taco bell feast for eternity
#29
Quote by the1
Speak for yourself...


...And for me. And the guy who posts next. And the one after. And so on and so forth.


well... i'm still a virgin so you...



Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#30
Quote by St.Loony
Ask Union Jake

am I the only one who laughed?


still laughing
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I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#32
[quote="'[= Tom ="]']...I'll ask here.

My girlfriend and I want to try anal sex, neither of use have tried it before so I could use some advice. If it helps, today I bought durex 2 in 1 massage gel. It can be used for both massages and as lubricant.

Thanks

ok seeing as no one has given you a good thourough answer that i could see here goes:

first off, make sure she uses the bathroom, has a good solid one, takes a shower and washes out pretty good cause finding shit probably won't be too much fun unless you're into that sorta thing, thats your deal buddy lol...

secondly and VERY important, there is no such thing as too much lube...add lube until you think you probably have more than enough and then add more...

go slowly, have normal vaginal sex first, make sure she is turned on and wet and horny etc then at some point start playing with her butthole, fingering it etc...start off by inserting one or two fingers to let her get used having somethin in there...when you go to stick your **** in, like i said make sure everything is lubed up good then enter slowly...if she feels any significant amount of pain then you are doing it wrong, add more lube and slow down...once you're in and you guys get comfortable then have fun...check in with her and make sure she lets you know if she starts to feel like it hurts too much, if it does then STOP immediately and assess the situation, add lube, slow down or switch back to vaginal or whatever (if you go back to vaginal either switch condoms or clean your prick first if you don't have a condom on)...if performed and prepped for correctly it will feel anywhere from just fine to amazing for the girl and will not hurt her...also always use quality lube and once you get goin and start getting into it either start playing with her clit or have her do it and she could potentially have an amazing orgasm, it can feel great for the girl...all the horror stories about it feeling miserable are only because the couple didn't do it right and didn't prep for it right, there is no reason for it to not be enjoyable for either party...cheers and have fun, thats what its all about
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Last edited by DR132 at Oct 30, 2008,
#33
Lots of lube, and be gentle.
That's all you need to know.

EDIT:^^ What he said.
DR132 has obviously had a lot of anal sex in his time.
Member of the Laney Cult
#34
Quote by daytripper75
your penis: --> O goes in her ass

For some reason, this reminds me of Portal.

Edit: Let me put another O in there...

Quote by daytripper75
your penis: --> O goes in her ass


<-------O



Yeaaa. Now it's Portal.


Wait what was this thread about again?

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
Last edited by Xiaoxi at Oct 30, 2008,
#35
You sir are disgusting think about this good and hard she poops out of that hole. When you look down there, there are two holes. One is for ****ing, the other isn't. But if you insist on trying it use A LOT of lube and make sure she drops her load before u do it other wise you're gonna see shit leaking out around your ****. Get it the shit comes out of there. Go slow seeing as the asshole isn't meant for ****ing. And on a side note if she doesn't shit beforehand, dirty sanchez.
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LIES!!! SLANDEROUS LIES
NOTHING IS BETTER THAN FAPPAGE!!!

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Uh... Sex?
#36
Quote by St.Loony
Ask Union Jake


Loi I dont know if he's got that far yet. probably though


New sex thread was closed!? I wonder why...
#37
Quote by Xiaoxi
For some reason, this reminds me of Portal.

Edit: Let me put another O in there...


Yeaaa. Now it's Portal.


Wait what was this thread about again?



funniest shit ever
Originally Posted by smb
I'm an arrogant bastard - I thought I was good before I'd plucked a note. I was right, of course.

Quote by MetalBass 77
sonsie knows all
#38
Quote by Xiaoxi
For some reason, this reminds me of Portal.

Edit: Let me put another O in there...


Yeaaa. Now it's Portal.

Wait what was this thread about again?

My friend that was excellent.

EDIT: In fact, I feel like sigging that. Aren't you lucky.
#39


Edit: That sig totally needs the quoted context...

You can quote inside a quote...

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#40
lay her on her tummy .. like doggy but flat.
then rub the massagestuff all over you and her. (just the sexparts in case you didn't knew ) Then lay on top of her, sliding it inside bit by bit veeeeeery gently. just put it in 1mm, pul it out, put it in 2mm and pull it out again. untill you are there


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