#1
So I accidently left my MiM strat by my trash can this morning, and then some guy came along walking his dog and stole it! If anyone knows who stole my MiM strat (it was missing a tone knob and had a broken nut), or how I can find out who, please let me know so I can kick there ass. And then whip it with a strip of leather studded with spikes. Also, his dog pissed on my mailbox. Please tell me where it might live because I own a shotgun and don't like pissy mailboxes. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

That is all.
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#2
You left it on a trash can and it was broken in places. He probably thought it was free. Also, I sense a troll.