#1
hey guys this is my first song ive written. wrote it when i was kinda depressed and my friends ignored it, so yeah


TRANSPARENT
abandoned by those held dear,
forsaken in an unknown frontier.
left alone to live with my lies
and to disappear from your eyes

gone with nothing left after
but my name written in water
left to fade away from you
a puddle to walk through

lost in a life so rough
i can't check out soon enough
as i've overstayed my welcome
but what's done is done.

transparent from your side
of the wall put up by denial.
now invisible is the light
that in my heart you ignite.

but don't worry about me
i'm not hurt all too deeply
this is not the time to doubt
because it all will work out

in the end...


Let me know what you think thanks
#2
Not bad. I like it. (Tho I'm kinda confused wat the chorus is, if there is a chorus.) Good rhymin, man, and nice theme.