#1
I wrote this in the last 3 hours. Its pretty Heavy (for me), and so I really love it Its really late here in Germany, but i wanted to finish it. So here it is. Have fun and tell me what you think

[Edit]
So now i changed some of the riffs, they now should fit in better, and changed the breakdown and some ohter little things

[Edit2]
see post below

C4C of course
Attachments:
Emocore.zip
EmocoreV2.zip
Love and Hatev3.zip
Last edited by OrangeWalls at Nov 1, 2008,
#2
I don't have time for a big run down but it was pretty good. I suppose it was meant to be basic with just the two riffs, but it did get repetitive.

I found that the riff almost sounded like it should have been in 3/4 time, and there were a few times where my ear kind of "lost balance". Colour that bass a little bit more too!

It's pretty solid but it's nothing I haven't heard, you know what I mean? If you gave the bass a bit more and did some more drum fills while expanding that riff into something a bit less repetitive then I'd like it a lot more.

7/10

Crit my stuff if you get a chance, even if it's just "i hate it".
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=960056

I have others if you search through my posts.
#3
Thanks for your crit man

I think you're right with the riffs, so i changed some of then... and they wont be that repetitive if you have vocals over it, i hope^^

I think i'm not going to change the bass, wont fit in really i think... Root notes are fine (and our bassist is kind of , you know^^ )
#4
this was pretty catchy, i liked it. but yeah, a bit repetitive. i want to hear it with vocals!
#5
Okay, I liked most of your changes although I think on the whole it's still a bit repetitive when comes to the "interlude" bits. The "solo" was much needed but even it was a bit bland after 8 bars or so. If you CAN play some sort of variation, then I think it would benefit from some 16th note pull-offs and a few slides.

Overall V2.0 is an improvement and it's sounding a lot better!
#7
Quote by tincsi666
dont like it at all. too generic and so.


I'm basing most of my opinion on the fact that he's writing for a specific genre/sound. I know what you mean, but for the type of music it's a solid example, you know?

It won't change the world but it'll get some kids dancing at a bar.
#8
Quote by Camm
I'm basing most of my opinion on the fact that he's writing for a specific genre/sound. I know what you mean, but for the type of music it's a solid example, you know?

It won't change the world but it'll get some kids dancing at a bar.


Youre right, i guess I dont want to make this song too technical, i just want to keep it simple and straight for the dancing kids (really dont know what kind of genre it is, but i'd call it rock^^)

The "solo" was much needed but even it was a bit bland after 8 bars or so. If you CAN play some sort of variation, then I think it would benefit from some 16th note pull-offs and a few slides.


hmm, i know what you mean... but dont know how to fix it exactly. The riff is good as it is, it should repeat that often, cause i want to lead to the end... but it really sounds too long... i think i should try it with better drums and maybe more bass in the solo

And thanks for your crit
#9
I liked it to start with, but it did get too repetitive. I would take some things from this song and add them to some other ideas you may have floating about. A variation or two would work wonders for this thing. You've also done a thing which I don't like stylisticly, which is overuse of cymbals, that's your choice, I just don't like it.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#10
I'd say, add at least a third instrument to the very beginning. But, that's just me. To empty. Do something to color up the chords the other guitar comes in with. And the bass. It's not making the lead any less repetitive. Nothing significantly wrong with the verse. The prechorus really needs something done different to separate itself. Actually.... rather than singularly reviewing the rest of the song... I'm just going to say the lead work gets boring. Too much of the same thing.
That made it sound bad, but it's just that I'd rather tell you what needs work than suck your balls. 'Tis good.
c4c?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=989804
#11
Whilst what you've written is good, you definetly need to use that main riff less, it's far too repetitive IMO. It also seemed like the only notes you used in the whole song were 8th notes - make the rhythm more interesting It's all good though, pretty well written other than those 2 points. i particularly liked the guitar in the verse. 7/10, good job.

Crit the post-hardcore one in my sig in return?
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker
#12
Again, thx for all your attention and your crits, and i will crit your stuff asap

So, yesterday we had a small gig with some friends, maybe thirty people, and we played this song, and it worked. They danced But we changed several things, we played it faster, we changed some of the riffs again, and my lead guitarist played things he never mentioned at practice^^ But, it was awesome

So i tried to change the things as we played them, and i'm not 100% sure about them, but it should be close...

The file is in the first post
Gear:
Ibanez SZ320 -> Höfner Analouge Delay -> MXR GT-OD -> Laney GH50L -> T.C.Electronics GMajor -> Line6 4x12 w/ Celestion G12T-75


My Lyrics and Poems


"with golden hair and perfect eyes,

with hollow words and empty lies."
Last edited by OrangeWalls at Nov 1, 2008,
#14
The updated version is miles better. I like the prechorus especially. Good job
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker
#15
Version 3 has a lot more to offer, good job. I like what your lead guitarist did in terms of "improv".

For this genre, it's okay, but I generally think that rhythm guitarists should have a little more variety on their playing, sometimes even having a bit of a lead part, maybe even some harmonization.
#16
Thx I'm glad that you liked it...

Quote by Camm
Version 3 has a lot more to offer, good job. I like what your lead guitarist did in terms of "improv".

For this genre, it's okay, but I generally think that rhythm guitarists should have a little more variety on their playing, sometimes even having a bit of a lead part, maybe even some harmonization.


I'm the rhytm guitarist^^ the problem is that i have to keep the rhytms simple because i have to sing alot. The band i'm playing in is a very vocalbased band, and difficult rhytms are hard to play if you try to sing perfect. At least for me But i'm working on this problem and i think i will solve it eventually. And as you say, its the genre^^
Gear:
Ibanez SZ320 -> Höfner Analouge Delay -> MXR GT-OD -> Laney GH50L -> T.C.Electronics GMajor -> Line6 4x12 w/ Celestion G12T-75


My Lyrics and Poems


"with golden hair and perfect eyes,

with hollow words and empty lies."