#1
***Click here to go listen, Click on "Next To Me" if it doesn't start automatically ...

Supposed to be a lulaby, acoustic, very slow in the verse, picks up in the bridge and chorus. Crit for crit, much appreciated.

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[F] I like [C/G] the morning,
[F] Turn up [C/G] the radio.
[G] Thank the sun just for showing
[F] Open up [C/G] a window. [F] [C/G]

[F] You can sleep [C/G] past noon.
[F] Wonder where [C/G] your day goes.
[G] Push away all of the covers,
[F] Just throw on [C/G] your clothes. [F] [C/G]

PRE CHORUS: (all down strokes, tempo x2 from verse)
[Am] Baby I know we're not the same,
[F] And everyone will ask you why?
[Am] Let them have all their doubts,
[G] While you tell them this reply, (guitar pause)
Singing,

CHORUS
[Dsus4] I would walk for miles,
[C/G] However tired [G] that I might be.
[Dsus4] I would keep on climbing,
[G/G] However high [G] that would be.
[G] If I'm flawed at my best baby,
[F] Then you're perfect [C/G] next to me.
[F] Yeah so perfect [C/G] next to me. [F] [C/G] (x2)

[F] You get all [C/G] dressed up.
[F] Ruth's Chris [C/G] or Red Robin.
[G] Give away your last pair of shoes,
[F] Say that you [C/G] don't need them. [F] [C/G]

[F] I can talk [C/G] for hours,
[F] About me and you [C/G] getting older.
[G] You'd claim that you're just shy,
[F] Bury your head [C/G] in my shoulders. [F] [C/G]

PRE CHORUS

CHORUS

BRIDGE: (all down strokes, tempo x2 from verse)
[Am] For the ones that you see,
[F] That say about me and you.
[Am] I can't wait to grow old,
[G] Just like the two of you. (guitar pause)
I sing,

PRE CHORUS

CHORUS
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
Last edited by aksuperstar at Nov 18, 2008,
#2
wow this is really good stuff, im liking the chords all throughout, and the words flow really well, cant think of anything bad about this song, good work man, cheers for the crit on mine too
when irish eyes are smiling, you've had to too much to drink cus eyes dont smile, mouths do
#4
some bits were cliche, but i can see how this works, its so comfortable. as it doesnt go anywhere exciting, its very in your comfort zone as a writer. yet, its flawless in its entirety. theres isnt much else to say about it for me i think.
#5
Thanks all for the nice words. If there is a full crit out there, it would be much appreciated ....
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#6
I did a quick recording of this one, just posted it on my MySpace page, (click "Next To Me" if it doesn't start automatically) would love some thoughts on how it turned out, melodically, especially whether or not the falsetto in the chorus works or not. Thanks.
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#7
Honestly, when I heard the recording and looked at the lyrics, I was expecting a totally different sounding. But after listening I can see the kind of style you were going for, a nice slow moving song that speaks about a relationship that will never be perfect, am I correct?

I think when you hit those high notes in the recording, it sort of turned me off a bit. You should not go as high, but still high enough for emphasis, but that's just me.

[Am] I can't wait to grow old,
[G] Just like the two of you

I kind of got confused at that bridge, who is the "two of you" referring to? I thought it was about you and a lady-friend, but this seems like there is another?

Pre-Chorus is on the money and I love the transition from that to the Chorus.

Also, I love how your first verse correlates to your second verse when you keep the idea of "clothing" in tact, excellent.

Very good song, even though I expected something totally different, the version you sang was still very nice and fit perfectly.

P.S. : Thanks for critiquing my song! Cheers bud!
#8
Thanks GREEN, yeah that second bridge is supposed to be about an onlooker being able to see the happiness and commenting on it. Guess I'll have to phrase it a little different.

There a full crit out there?
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#9
oh man this is pretty rad, but the line that strikes me the most is "im flawed...next to me". really quality, keep it up.
#10
I went into this thinking I wasn't going to like it for some reason, but I'm pleasantly suprised. You got some talent. You seem very comfortable with what you're doing and the songs are simple and catchy, I like!
Fact: Bears eat beats. Bears beats Battlestar Galactica.
#11
Ask and you shall recieve. Crit for Crit PLEASE

Quote by aksuperstar
***Click here to go listen, Click on "Next To Me" if it doesn't start automatically ...

Supposed to be a lulaby, acoustic, very slow in the verse, picks up in the bridge and chorus. Crit for crit, much appreciated.

-------------------------------------------------------------

[F] I like [C/G] the morning,
[F] Turn up [C/G] the radio.
[G] Thank the sun just for showing
[F] Open up [C/G] a window. [F] [C/G]

Good. Introduces the mood very well. People can relate

[F] You can sleep [C/G] past noon.
[F] Wonder where [C/G] your day goes.
[G] Push away all of the covers,
[F] Just throw on [C/G] your clothes. [F] [C/G]

Cool

PRE CHORUS: (all down strokes, tempo x2 from verse)
[Am] Baby I know we're not the same,
[F] And everyone will ask you why?
[Am] Let them have all their doubts,
[G] While you tell them this reply, (guitar pause)
Singing,

CHORUS
[Dsus4] I would walk for miles,
[C/G] However tired [G] that I might be.
[Dsus4] I would keep on climbing,
[G/G] However high [G] that would be.
[G] If I'm flawed at my best baby,
[F] Then you're perfect [C/G] next to me.
[F] Yeah so perfect [C/G] next to me. [F] [C/G] (x2)

So is YOU in the chorus? Or the person youre singing about - is that her/his "reply" to the ones who have doubts (prechorus) A bit confusing

[F] You get all [C/G] dressed up.
[F] Ruth's Chris [C/G] or Red Robin.
[G] Give away your last pair of shoes,
[F] Say that you [C/G] don't need them. [F] [C/G]

I dont get it, but I like it.

[F] I can talk [C/G] for hours,
[F] About me and you [C/G] getting older.
[G] You'd claim that you're just shy,
[F] Bury your head [C/G] in my shoulders. [F] [C/G]

Good relatable ..is that a word?

PRE CHORUS

CHORUS

BRIDGE: (all down strokes, tempo x2 from verse)
[Am] For the ones that you see,
[F] That say about me and you.
[Am] I can't wait to grow old,
[G] Just like the two of you. (guitar pause)
I sing,

The two of who? I thought you were talking about yourself and someone else..

PRE CHORUS

CHORUS



Overall not bad. I like it. Like, its not deep, your feelings are very on the surface which makes a few lines cliche, but it works!
Please crit mine... link in Sig.
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*world may asplode due to unprecedented levels of awesome.
#12
thanks all for the crits, hopefully you had a listen as well. cheers.
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#13
this is a damn good song sir. and awesome to see that you're from my home town (portland). out in college in New York right now. whats the temperature like if you dont mind me asking?
#14
Quote by #1 synth
this is a damn good song sir. and awesome to see that you're from my home town (portland). out in college in New York right now. whats the temperature like if you dont mind me asking?


typical Nov Portland night, overcast and 40 degrees haha. Rain is on it's way, I can feel it ...
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5
#16
wow, the recording was way different from what i was expecting, watch your pronunciation, with a song like this it's very important that the emphasis is on the lyrics, and when they are put forward almost forcefully it kind of plays with the feel of the song. Try and soften the lyrics a little.

The lyrics as a whole are awesome, no major flaws, good imagery. Although the ideas are really good the communication of those ideas at times can become a little jumbled so watch your expression. But all round it's a pretty good song, i like it.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

#17
thanks all for the nice comments and crits, please let me know if I missed anyone. On to the next piece I guess. Should be a good one, most likely a break up song haha.
LISTEN:
A Myspace introduction to:

LEARN:
It's not always rainbows and butterflies,
It's compromise that moves us along. -- Maroon 5