#1
When I'm all alone
and it's dark and quiet
I close my eyes and wish I was gone
Away from this world, this riot.

Than I forget all my bad memories
While I'm on my own planet
with no pain, no misery
There's everything I ever wanted.

But than I open my eyes
and see the world more awefull than it was
All those people with their big fake lies
The world is killing me and I'm holding my cross

I'm trying to survive this life
But I don't think that I would make it
It's like the ending has arrived
Ending of the world and I won't save it

This is one of my poems, you can find others on my UG profile if your interested

o yeah and let me know what you think of this poem
#5
Some of the rhymes, such as 'quiet and riot' sounded really forced, so you may want to change some of the words, even if it stops the piece from rhyming. Also, I think you may wanna put in a bit more metaphors or wordplay in there, to make the reader think a little more what it is that you're trying to say or get across; it is that makes many poems far more interesting than others.

Overall, I quite liekd it, but I think by doing what I said you could make it that little bit better

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=987872