okay so i got a cream telecaster
it came with a white scratch guard
which i painted black, but i got a few drips on it, so sanded it down again
but it looks kinda vintagey and old
so i'm not-repainting it

but yeh, to the question

how would i make it look really vintagey?
like the entire guitar?
there was a site floating around a while ago
but i can't find it

any help would be nice

Really vintagey? You could put a vintage bridge on it, and put an ashtray cover over that. ages knobs, aged pickguard - there's loads of tutorials on ageing parts - I've never tried, so I don't know if any of them work properly!