#1
I don't know if this will make sense to anyone, but I'll try.

I have been (and still kind of am) in a group of friends that seems ****ed. Lots of them have terrible self-esteem, and naturally some of them are high and get drunk on a regular basis. And I'm not saying that weed or alcohol are the problem (done lots of both), it just becomes a problem when they are used to make oneself feel better. What makes me afraid is that some people have a very good chance to move on to harder drugs.

I was dating one of the girls in the group for about 6 months. She lost her father at the age of 13, to alcohol. She has been through some terrible things, which I won't mention because of privacy. I didn't realize it at the time, but when I started going out with her, she was high a lot of the time. No one really knew, but she was addicted (and probably still is). By the end of our relationship, she wasn't high that much (she really doesn't have much money), and I saw a totally different person. Her mother and brother really aren't supportive either.

The worst of the group is a guy I'll call Dylan. He lives with his grandmother because his father took off, and her mother lives somewhere else, taking care of two of his brothers (who he doesn't really know). Even before he started smoking weed, he could be a real dick and just **** things up. He was always right, you could never try and bring him down. He'd rip into people when he was feeling insecure. After his (really caring) girlfriend broke up with him, he's just been blazing so much. 9 out of 10 times I see him he'll be high. I know that because it's the only time he smiles or laughs. He's said that he wants to do harder drugs like coke and join gangs. He's a lost cause in my eyes.

There are friends in this group that are at risk of falling into the same pattern, because they also have low self-esteem. I feel like anyone who stays with Dylan or my ex has the high risk of going down with them.
I broke up with my ex about 2 months ago. I won't really talk to the group much. Since then, things just seem to get worse. Everyone tries to help each other, but can't because they're so ****ed up themselves. It's stressful for the people trying to help. This is why I got the **** out of there. I had been friends with that group for about a year and half, and I realized that it was just breaking me emotionally.

So the point of this whole wall of text is... At what point does helping out your friends become too much? You can't solve your friend's problems, they have to do that themselves. Is it really that bad to cut people out from your life that you know can **** up your life?

Congrats if you read this far.
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#3
Cannabis is not addictive. Your bitch is kinda stupid to be addicted to something which doesn't contain addictive substances. Ask her for sex though.
#4
Magnificent Structure ...Wall!

And yeah I know what you mean. Too much is too much you can't kill yourself for someone else.
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#5
Quote by CypressHill
Cannabis is not addictive. Your bitch is kinda stupid to be addicted to something which doesn't contain addictive substances. Ask her for sex though.


Don't give me this ****ing bullshit. I've heard it too many times.

There's such a thing called psychological addiction.

Edit: Lol, yeah, I am pretty good at organizing wall of texts.
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#6
Quote by CypressHill
Cannabis is not addictive.


Yes it is.

Too much is when you realise that however much you care about someone or love them they're beyond help and it's going to destroy you to keep trying.
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Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
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You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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#7
Quote by neopowell
Yes it is.

Too much is when you realise that however much you care about someone or love them they're beyond help and it's going to destroy you to keep trying.



Reminds me of the commercials....


Anywho, confront them about the shit and tell them how you feel. If they don't abide, fuck em'.
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#8
Cannabis is addictive to those who depend on it....it in and of itself isnt, but it depends on the person....


ANYWAYSSS....yeah i understand what you're going through man, it sucks...
#9
Quote by Jack Flint
Don't give me this ****ing bullshit. I've heard it too many times.

There's such a thing called psychological addiction.

Edit: Lol, yeah, I am pretty good at organizing wall of texts.


When I read the first line of this, I was about to rip into you about the physcological addiction.

You probably did the right thing and got the **** outta there. I mean it's not like they;re childhood friends, you've only known them just over a year.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

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#10
Quote by CypressHill
Cannabis is not addictive. Your bitch is kinda stupid to be addicted to something which doesn't contain addictive substances. Ask her for sex though.

your body doesnt get addicted. your mind does. it like drinking.
cigarettes have nicotine. your body becomes addicted and you feel you need it.
weed and alcohol, your mind becomes addicted. your mind tells you you need it to get over certain things and get through the day.
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#11
Yeah, but the person must be weak as ****.

Quote by sk8erk1d1313
your body doesnt get addicted. your mind does. it like drinking.
cigarettes have nicotine. your body becomes addicted and you feel you need it.
weed and alcohol, your mind becomes addicted. your mind tells you you need it to get over certain things and get through the day.

Incorrect boss.
#12
I'm a reformed pot-head: when I quit after smoking heavy for like 13 years I got stomach cramps, I broke out horribly, and I couldn't keep a whole meal down for more than 30 minutes. Not addictive my ass.

As for your friends, I have to sympathize bro, my brother and buddies are like that. The most you can do is stay friends with them and show them through example that theres a better way to live.

YOU CANNOT CHANGE THEM. CHANGE COMES FROM WITHIN.

Most of all, stick to your guns. Good luck.
"You can drink an ugly chick hot, but you can’t drink a fat chick skinny."

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#14
people who are saying weed isnt addictive.. it is. trust me. i did it every day for a year, and quitting was the worst time of my entire life. it was only a psycological addiction, but it made me uninterested in all my hobbies, it made me sad, and i had no patience. ive chilled out now though.
...
#15
Quote by GNiCk89


Reminds me of the commercials....


Anywho, confront them about the shit and tell them how you feel. If they don't abide, fuck em'.


I speak in cliches, it makes it easier for stupid people to understand me.
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Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
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You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

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#16
Quote by sk8erk1d1313
your body doesnt get addicted. your mind does. it like drinking.
cigarettes have nicotine. your body becomes addicted and you feel you need it.
weed and alcohol, your mind becomes addicted. your mind tells you you need it to get over certain things and get through the day.


Your f-ing retarded. Have you ever heard of the DT's? your body becomes dependant on alchohol. Wake up.

You've obviously never had the shakes. Your incredibly wrong and incredibly disallusioned.

EPIC FAIL.
"You can drink an ugly chick hot, but you can’t drink a fat chick skinny."

Fender: HSS Stratocaster

Modulus: 1991 Q5

Peavey:158BASS
Marshall: MG30FDX
Acoustic: B200
#17
Being in a group of friends means dealing with the dynamics of that group. IF a group has good dynamics its worth dealing with small issues, since chances are that the groups will help itself. Think of it like an immune system, the better each individual is the better the whole. Now if you are dealing with a large amount of people that are messed up, trying to pick the whole group up is impossible. Whatever the inertia of the group, that is where you are going. I would say peace to your freinds, and it appears that you are pretty clear that you want something else from your life than this type of b.s. I know it sounds trite but sacrificing oneself to attempt to help a person is not worth it. You don't want to be dragged down, and to tell you the truth your help would be worthless anyways. People who are like this do not want to change, and will not change until they want to. Your friendship enables them to stagnate and worsen
i enjoy head
#18
Quote by neopowell
I speak in cliches, it makes it easier for stupid people to understand me.

Yeah I do that too sometimes.


I dunno man, I'm high right now. I don't feel dependent or sad or uninterested. Maybe it's because I have really good pot.


I mean, REALLY good pot.
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#19
Quote by Jack Flint
Don't give me this ****ing bullshit. I've heard it too many times.

There's such a thing called psychological addiction.

SO ARE ROLLER COASTERS, CARNIVALS, AND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.
It sounds like these kids have issues, but don't give me that bullshit, because I've heard it too many times. There is nothing stopping them from smoking other than they don't want to, which makes them at fault.
You don't go into withdrawal from not smoking, and their personality is what's keeping them high.

Was Dylan really your friend, because the way you describe him, it's sounds like there's been a lot of animosity between you two. I say try to convince him to stay off of other drugs, but from what you've told us, he probably won't listen.
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#20
That depends, punk. You feel like being a martyr?
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#21
You don't go into withdrawal from not smoking


Yes you do. Seen it and done it.
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Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
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You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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#23
Quote by wtf290
SO ARE ROLLER COASTERS, CARNIVALS, AND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.
It sounds like these kids have issues, but don't give me that bullshit, because I've heard it too many times. There is nothing stopping them from smoking other than they don't want to, which makes them at fault.
You don't go into withdrawal from not smoking, and their personality is what's keeping them high.

Was Dylan really your friend, because the way you describe him, it's sounds like there's been a lot of animosity between you two. I say try to convince him to stay off of other drugs, but from what you've told us, he probably won't listen.


I know it's not the weed. It's their personality and their problems that make them want to smoke it to feel better.

At the beginning, Dylan was a great friend. He's just a really goofy guy and he's really smart. If he really wanted to, he could be a really great person. But he had problems. Over time, they just worsened. I remember talking to him on the phone and saying how he can control our friends by what he says and how he acts. He makes himself try and feel better by thinking he has power. You could never accuse him of anything bad either, cause he'd just rip into you and get really moody.
The last straw was when my ex was going to have a party at her house. The day before she told me that she was feeling really terrible, but she still felt obligated to have the party. I told her to call it off, it'd be pointless if she's feeling bad for her own party.
The next day Dylan was saying how my girlfriend was a "****ing emotional ****" (she wasn't at school that day). I told him to **** off and he said "what are you going to do about it" and gave me this look. I left. He still went out and got plastered that day.

I've never respected him after that.
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When you take a crap do you clean your ass siting down or standing?
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upside down
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You're working for the government aren't you?
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I don't have an ass.


#24
Quote by neopowell
Yes you do. Seen it and done it.

I haven't encountered any conclusive evidence, and seen some heavy smokers stop without trouble. I'm not saying you didn't see someone get sick or got sick when you stopped smoking, but is it possibly a result of something else? I've heard a lot of things against it happening.
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Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

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Its super effective!
#25
Quote by Jazzcore23
Being in a group of friends means dealing with the dynamics of that group. IF a group has good dynamics its worth dealing with small issues, since chances are that the groups will help itself. Think of it like an immune system, the better each individual is the better the whole. Now if you are dealing with a large amount of people that are messed up, trying to pick the whole group up is impossible. Whatever the inertia of the group, that is where you are going. I would say peace to your freinds, and it appears that you are pretty clear that you want something else from your life than this type of b.s. I know it sounds trite but sacrificing oneself to attempt to help a person is not worth it. You don't want to be dragged down, and to tell you the truth your help would be worthless anyways. People who are like this do not want to change, and will not change until they want to. Your friendship enables them to stagnate and worsen


Are you saying that if everyone left them, they would get better?
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When you take a crap do you clean your ass siting down or standing?
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upside down
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You're working for the government aren't you?
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I don't have an ass.


#26
Quote by wtf290
I haven't encountered any conclusive evidence, and seen some heavy smokers stop without trouble. I'm not saying you didn't see someone get sick or got sick when you stopped smoking, but is it possibly a result of something else? I've heard a lot of things against it happening.


Depends on what you think of personal evidence, quitting weed made me feel like crap for a long time. Regarding the 'weak mind' idea, maybe it's worth pointing out that I quit ketamine and pills with hardly any trouble at all.
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Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
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You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

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#27
Quote by neopowell
Depends on what you think of personal evidence, quitting weed made me feel like crap for a long time. Regarding the 'weak mind' idea, maybe it's worth pointing out that I quit ketamine and pills with hardly any trouble at all.

Do you think you were addicted to the special k or pills, though? When I used to do pills I'd be popping 4 or 5 a day. Not really a lot, but you'd think over time it'd become an addiction. I was able to stop right when I decided to, though.

Dylan sounds like a generally abusive, manipulative person. I get the feeling that he wants to do blow just to have done it, not to get high. Maybe explain to him how different it is from weed or pills, or whatever else he's done?
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

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Its super effective!
#28
It's worse when your mates are upset and they have no real problems. My friend got dumped about a month ago in a relationship that he admitted made him feel bad and knew it was going wrong (and he was gonna dump her anyway) and he is still depressed about it, and he's always looking to me and my friends to say they could still get back together, and when we say it's not gonna happen he thinks we're lying to make him feel bad and goes back to being depressed.

Another one of my friends looks for sympathy by crying over her cousin's death three months ago, which seems fair enough. But she's admitted to one of her other mates that she isn't sad about it, she hardly knew her cousin and was just being upset for the attention and to get out of doing school work. That's pretty ****ed up to me.

/rant over.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

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#29
Quote by wtf290
Do you think you were addicted to the special k or pills, though? When I used to do pills I'd be popping 4 or 5 a day. Not really a lot, but you'd think over time it'd become an addiction. I was able to stop right when I decided to, though.


Pills not so much but I was doing a lot of K and it became a part of my routine, particularly getting to sleep at night. I found the idea of quitting terrifying but it turned out to be easy.
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Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
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You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

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#30
Sounds like you are outgrowing your friends. Maybe they'll catch up maybe they won't. Either way don't wait for them.
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#31
Lol, I really wouldn't be one to know about coke. Besides, he wouldn't even listen to me.
At this point, I don't care about what he does. I'm just really scared for his girlfriend, who's a really great person, and I don't want to see her get hurt.

And el-ECTRO, I'd rather be in your position. Really.
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When you take a crap do you clean your ass siting down or standing?
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upside down
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You're working for the government aren't you?
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I don't have an ass.


#32
I think you are completely justified in what your doing, leaving that group of friends.

I was in a similar situation to you, and now I don't associate with those people anymore and I am much better off.
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#33
You can't be addicted to pot. At least not physically. She may enjoy the high and try to be high often, but her body won't go through pot withdrawal.
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#34
If you depend on something you're addicted to it.
So if you depend on sex you're addicted to sex (which I'm sure most of us here are :p

To the TS:

If you're normal, stop hanging around with those people. You talk so much about the others being brought down but think of yourself.
I hung around with fuck-ups and started turning into a fuck-up myself. I stopped and I'm now back on track.

If Dylan is messed up then people will think you're messed up since you hang out with him. I had this same problem.


EDIT: To the user above; her body won't go through withdrawal but her mind might. If she stops she'll be even worst as weed is her scapegoat out of her depressing life. And she will suffer from cravings for a bong hit. I still crave a joint every now and then. Even though I wasn't even really addicted.
Last edited by CaptainRon at Oct 29, 2008,
#35
I don't really hang out with them anymore. Maybe talk to them on msn, but even that depresses me. I never start it though. I do feel a lot better not hanging out with them. I just don't really know where to go from here. Some better friends would be good.

Thank you to everyone who cared to read and post. I really appreciate it.
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When you take a crap do you clean your ass siting down or standing?
Quote by Garret.
upside down
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You're working for the government aren't you?
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I don't have an ass.