#1
A delicate game,
world domination,
an end to the lots created
Repaint the canvas,
with blackened cover
Depressing phase to the music love

A new song bird migrates,
to the open-air ears of enduring tears.

A divinity,
A forest is full of different trees
See beauty is diversity
Surrender it all and let it be.
#3
there's something intriguing about the last stanza.
rhyme in the second stanza is kinda lame.
cut some of the commas in the first one too.
first one also feels really pretentious.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#4
Quote by Dwayne Rodstad

A delicate game,
world domination,
an end to the lots created
Repaint the canvas,
with blackened cover
Depressing phase to the music love

First of all, I think you should replace 'world domination' with a different phrase. I'mm not sure what, but that phrase seems very obvious. Also, get rid of the word 'depressing' in the last line and change it around a bit, to perhaps imply a depression of some sort but not say it directly.

A new song bird migrates,
to the open-air ears of enduring tears.

If I'm brutally honest, the rhyming of 'ears' and 'tears' takes away any credibility you may have had =/ Please change it.

A divinity,
A forest is full of different trees
See beauty is diversity
Surrender it all and let it be.

I think this is the only stanza you should just leave as it is, I think it's quite nice and sums up the poem quite nicely.


Overall, though, I quite liked the idea and I think with a littel bit of improvement you could make this heaps better

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=987872