#1
So in my school we have this teacher named Mrs. O that teaches orchestra. She's completely insane and some kids compiled a list of quotes she said to students. It's the type of thing the pit would like. So imagine her saying these to students.

"I'M A SLAVE TO BEETHOVEN!"

"IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO THROW UP, BUT YOU CAN'T!"

"That's silly time! Barack Obama!"

"For the concert i'm dressing up like a PIRATE."
(comes to the concert dressed in a cape and sunglasses.)

"Go home and eat a sandwich"

"Go home and watch X-BOX."

"STOP TALKING. S.T."

"Those bass boys..."

"Are you on drugs? Somebody here is on drugs. Stop taking speed! You're rushing!"

"Mozart was the greatest genius in the UNIVERSE."

"FAKE OUT! FAKE OUT!"

"Alright, now play that again but without the atrocious horrifying sounds."

"Dont you wanna be just like me. Eminem. Dont you wanna be just like me"

"i can't kill anyone, so i play music"

"Don't go on facebook. All ya gonna see is Soulja Boy."

"I don't need drugs. This music is pumping right into my veins!"

"BUSTED!"

"Play vibrato like a sick cow"

"You are my children, and in the event of a fire, we will huddle together."

"You deserve an ice cream sandwich"

"I want you on my ship."

"Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me."

"Billy Cember is the cuckoo."

"You know, you could be decent."

"Hear that luscious sound? That's the Mrs. O. sound."

"S-T-O-P! STOP!"

"I want to play with you, Sung"

"Good morning, chickadees."

"Get on the stick!"

"is it pizza day yet?!"

"don't make me get the hockey stick. boy i hate those rangers"

"Who's Plucking while I'm talking?"

"I'm going to see if everyone is done..I have a list...I'm checking it twice, I'm going to find out who is naughty or nice."

"Who's laughing? I'll beat you up."

"There is a God!"

"Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?!"

"I have spongebob because I'm ready."

"That's a very sexy sound."

"Stop watching the boob-tube"

"Violas, you sound like a bunch of elephants"

"I can't do it. I can't count twelve for you! That's just crazy!"

"Control your diarrhea! Take Pepto! Take Pepto!

"I'm going to have to make some extention soup, and you're all going to have to eat some. I'll try not to make it too spicy."

"Don't put that in a text message! I can read text message. Especially LOL!"

"Emily, you're hurting the orchestra. we all need band-aids, Emily. Band-Aids."

"greuysgjbdfidukgbvsuydjfghsdvuayjgsehvdgxulgy jhrdbvgxLJfhrbgdsylfujhdbhxzvcjhbg"
^solid minute rant in some unknown language that doesn't exist.

"hold that violin up! don't make me jump on you! i'll jump on you"

"I'm ALWAYS watching you, Emily"

"You're slowing down! Why are you slowing down?! The stock market is slowing down! Why are you slowing down?!"

''I just want to open a lemon, squirt it all over my face and get sick"

"Could you hear the violins? Noo. Could you hear Mrs. O? Yess. There's 1-2-3-4...10 of them and one of Mrs. O. So it's like ten to one AND I have a bum shoulder. So it's like ten to a half. This is just sad."

"I hate you all."

"Olivia, I can't wait until you graduate. How many months is it now? 7 MONTHS?! UGHH! *rolls eyes*"

"Where are the violin transvestites? Who wants to be a transvestite? Where are the transvestites? Who wants to be a transvestite?"

"What are you doing? You have STUFF TO DO! S-T-D!"
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
Last edited by StrokeMidnight at Nov 1, 2008,
#4
Quote by NKF176
I think she is ****ed up.


Obviously. What makes this funny is that she's completely serious when she says this stuff .
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#5
yeah basically i read about five, scrolled down the page, saw there was 100 to go so i stopped
#6
haha, i need to copy these down to say in public places...I gotta come to your school...
"We were one among the fence"
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#8
Hold on I'll make a compressed list of the few best ones.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#9
I had a Maths teacher called Mr. Williams. Here's some thing he said:

If we got in trouble, he'd suggest something about keeping us in after school. "At 10 past 3, your time is mine!!"

Some people walked around a lot and he said this. "Stop walking around. Who do you think you are, some kind of postman?"
#10
That was hilarious. What does the 'O' stand for?

My school used to have a pretty crazy teacher aswell. He made up really ridiculous stories about how he helped to land the Apollo spacecraft, that he once beat up a dog because it bit him, that he was a blackbelt in Karate (trust me, he wasn't) and many more.
#11
we have an english teacher like this...its a scary time

but i do clever retorts until the entire class laughs and she shuts up
Top 15:
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Devendra Banhart
Pavement
Anberlin
Eve 6
The Clash
Imogen Heap
Ingrid Michaelson
Bayside
Minus The Bear
The Replacements
Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
#14
Quote by aaciseric
That was hilarious. What does the 'O' stand for?


Ostrofsky.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#15
90% of those are inside joke that we don't know. Nice one.
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#16
ha ha I wish a had a teacher who said stuff like that randomly, that's a lotta stuff right there lol
#17
Quote by pwninator123
we have an english teacher like this...its a scary time

but i do clever retorts until the entire class laughs and she shuts up



Wow, I wish I was as clever and witty as you.
My band, Escher
My progressive rock project, Mosaic

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#18
Quote by BillieJoeFreak:
90% of those are inside joke that we don't know. Nice one.


0% of these are inside jokes. Not a single one. How is "I can't kill people so I play music, an inside joke." Did you even read them or are you just assuming because it's about a teacher.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#19
Quote by Mrs. O
Could you hear the violins? Noo. Could you hear Mrs. O? Yess. There's 1-2-3-4...10 of them and one of Mrs. O. So it's like ten to one AND I have a bum shoulder. So it's like ten to a half. This is just sad.
This is my favourite because at one time, I was the half.
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#20
Yeah I've had some epic quotes from teachers too.

So yeah one time some guy was messing in the back of class so my Science teacher just shouted and started pumping his fist:

''Hey! HEY!! You'd think you're sitting down the back of class throwing cocktails around like Tom Cruise!''
Last edited by Surfer Rosa at Nov 1, 2008,
#21
Once one of my teachers got up and did a weird dance and singing loudly: "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!!"
She looks like a fish, a very old grumpy fish. This made it funnyer
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#22
"Alright, now play that again but without the atrocious horrifying sounds."


shes cool man.
"Where the Beatles wanted to hold your hand, the Stones wanted to fuck your sister or daughter"

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#23
Forgot to mention a great story my brother told me about his new Uni lecturer:

Someone did a really high pitched squel as a joke and the guy (old and not very pc, imagine this next bit in a Geordie accent) turned around and said:

"That was a high voice, have we got any queers in?"

Oh and another one:

The guy was talking about some engineering thing called a black plate and he said:

"There we go ... 3 black plates ... 3 black men ..." and then just carried on.

I found that hilarious.
#25
Quote by MrMojoRisin'
I may have to sig Mrs. O.


That one is actually my favorite.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#27
Quote by StrokeMidnight
"You are my children, and in the event of a fire, we will huddle together."




In the event of a fire I wouldn't recommend joining her lead.
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#28
Our band director is so stupid a few from him:


"IF YOU TRY YOU FAIL!"

"If you're sharp you're flat!"

"Chris, I'm going to hang you by your gonads!" (Except at the time he didn't know the definition of gonad)

and many others......Our assistant director threatens to cut our fingers off and throw them back at us except he's singing the part we messed up on while saying that....
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brot pls
#29
...my band teacher threw a shoe at me...
Top 15:
Neutral Milk Hotel
Smashing Pumpkins
Placebo
Elliott Smith
Devendra Banhart
Pavement
Anberlin
Eve 6
The Clash
Imogen Heap
Ingrid Michaelson
Bayside
Minus The Bear
The Replacements
Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
#30
The art teacher from one of my high schools was famous for saying weird things too. I heard that he once said, "On my tombstone, I just want it to say 'He planted trees'."
#31
I want to meet this woman
VERY METAL!
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#32
Quote by Trefellin
The art teacher from one of my high schools was famous for saying weird things too. I heard that he once said, "On my tombstone, I just want it to say 'He planted trees'."


i want mine to say:

THE GAME


YOU LOST IT
Top 15:
Neutral Milk Hotel
Smashing Pumpkins
Placebo
Elliott Smith
Devendra Banhart
Pavement
Anberlin
Eve 6
The Clash
Imogen Heap
Ingrid Michaelson
Bayside
Minus The Bear
The Replacements
Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
#33
Quote by pwninator123
i want mine to say:

THE GAME


YOU LOST IT


Damn you.
The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason.-John Cage
#34
Quote by StrokeMidnight
Damn you.

i'm sorry, i had to announce it, and they close threads dedicated to doing so...i thought this was the finest method of announcing
Top 15:
Neutral Milk Hotel
Smashing Pumpkins
Placebo
Elliott Smith
Devendra Banhart
Pavement
Anberlin
Eve 6
The Clash
Imogen Heap
Ingrid Michaelson
Bayside
Minus The Bear
The Replacements
Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst
#35
My photography teacher said some funny things. The two most memorable are

"This is not Legoland!" - she yelled that at a student who was just messing around.

"Chase forward!" - she was telling someone to turn their chair to face forward, but I guess she tripped on her words and combined "chair" and "face".

She was truly nuts.
#36
Sounds like an amazing teacher. Reminds me of my old english teacher, she retired, but I have a notebook full of her random sayings like that.
I miss her dearly.