#1
Amongst all the action that took place on this land,
We managed to find a place to stand.
With shoes the tapped to the beat of the blues,
Quiet and polite, like the evening news.

With cellphones ringing,
Children singing,
About peace, war, and love.
Somewhere amongst all of this,
We managed to find a place to stand.

Gunshots didnt wake anyone up,
We stayed in dreamland.
We're still there.
As long as noone you love doesnt get hurt,
Everything is fine.

The sound of those shells hitting the ground,
Letters mailed to our troops.
We should have said their in danger,
Your dancing with stranger,
In a place that seems so unfamiliar,
To both you and I.

I can still feel every bullet that forces its way through the skin.
Im miles away,
But I feel their pain within.
Theres not a drop of blood on my chest,
But theres blood on all of our hands.

Is this the place,
Where we take our Stand ?


c4c

(c) John Minoia 2008
Write it down.
Last edited by A New Vision at Nov 2, 2008,
#3
The mess age is nice, a few things that don't flow at all. eg: Were still there. But not bad overall. Feels liek the first two stanzas have some REALLY forced rhymes. I tend to do that a lot myself. Try going through it again while sining it and fix some of the smaller things. It has potential
#4
Thanks guys will do.


The rhyming in the first to stanzas was intentional. I thought it gave it more power.
Write it down.