#1
this is one of my most recent songs (and as of right now one of my favorites). originally it was just supposed to be one guitar with piano until the build guitar 2 kicks in but then i made some cool leads for the chorus and the verse. idk i still like the verses and chorus without the lead but you tell me. the idea of this song was to create a non-generic alternative rock/indie song. C4C as always.


EDIT:

if anybody wants to hear a recorded version of this song check out my bands myspace. there arent vocals or bass yet but it sounds pretty epic.

www.myspace.com/acrossthepacificrock
Attachments:
Zorthion.zip
Last edited by cullanrocks at Apr 28, 2009,
#2
That was awesome that was really amazing. I loved every part of this song. Would love to hear it recorded with vocals. That would be really great i think Thats all i have to say, sorry for that undetailed crit

crit mine? click me
Gear:
Ibanez SZ320 -> Höfner Analouge Delay -> MXR GT-OD -> Laney GH50L -> T.C.Electronics GMajor -> Line6 4x12 w/ Celestion G12T-75


My Lyrics and Poems


"with golden hair and perfect eyes,

with hollow words and empty lies."
#3
The intro/verse part is excellent, but the chorus feels way too static. I think adding some stuff on the bass and/or making the drum comp more lively during the chorus would really help it.

Also, just a small thing, in measure 81 of the build, maybe you could let the piano or the first guitar play the same thing while the other one "moves on" upwards, just for effect.

As for the outro, I think the piano and the drums need some work here, simply adding more beats to the piano (maybe syncopes) could make it alot more intresting.


Overall I really like the mood of the song though, great job! If you'd like to crit mine I could use some advice on the first song in this thread.
#5
work more on the piano

Very good intro =)
Very Short song =(

add a good solo and structure more it
8/10

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=991358
R.I.P.
Chuck Schuldiner 1967-2001
Ronnie James Padavona 1942-2010
Darrell Lance Abbott 1966-2004
Jon Nödtveidt 1975-2006
Per Yngve Ohlin 1969-1991
Øystein Aarseth 1968-1993
Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
Ace Börje Thomas Forsberg 1966-2004
#8
Nice intro riff, nice feel to it.

Chorus - Bit plain

Piano was nice, really adds power to the rest of the song.

Outro - Nice apart from the last two bars, it feels like a build up and then the song finishes, perhaps use the same as the rest of the outro and slow it down or fade out or something.

Nice overall piece.

Crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1115670
#9
Definitely needs a solo, but other than that, I really like it. I wish I could say more, but the fact that it's sololess is really my only complaint.

C4C? It's the first one in my sig, Project 28.