#1
Couldn't find this topic by searching.

I'm doing stand-up at a pub comedy night tonight and was wondering if anyone else here has tried their hand at the funny business?
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#3
This joke sucks. Booo.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
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But our Band is Listana
#6
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Yeah I stood up once. Pretty cool. Sitting down's better though.


win.
#7
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Yeah I stood up once. Pretty cool. Sitting down's better though.


Ouwch. I got burned...
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#8
No, I'm not funny enough to do stand-up.
And I'd get so pissed off with the hecklers I'd start challenging them to fights.
I hope it doesn't seem, like I'm young, foolish, and green.
Let me in for a minute, you're not my life but I want you in it


O Dayya, te echaré de menos, siempre

Y siempre
Y para siempre
#9
I'm trying to decide whether to wear my Wildhearts t-shirt with the two girls scissoring on it or not...
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#10
Quote by neopowell
I'm trying to decide whether to wear my Wildhearts t-shirt with the two girls scissoring on it or not...


If you do, make sure you draw attention to the image with a witty comment.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

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Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#11
I was thinking of using it against hecklers.

"Fuck you. See my t-shirt? That's your mum and your aunt."
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#12
Quote by neopowell
I was thinking of using it against hecklers.

"Fuck you. See my t-shirt? That's your mum and your aunt."


...I didn't laugh. An 11 year old could come up with that. Spend more time thinking about it.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#14
I havent, but i've watched a lot on TV and I think my Dad has done some. he's really funny, pretty much all the time.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#15
film it !!


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#16
Quote by break-me-in
...I didn't laugh. An 11 year old could come up with that. Spend more time thinking about it.


Hmm, I'll give it some thought. Or possibly wear something else.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#17
i did it just for a couple of times, first time the crowd wa my age, i had like tons of stuff to moque about as we had some very firey afairs going on with education politics and stuff so it went pretty cool, ppl laughed their asses out.

Second time the guy asked me to perform again, only this time it was for older ppl, so i tried to moque about how the start as idealist teens and end up being boring buissnessmen, but i went so-so...

not all ppl have the same taste of humour..

some don't even have a taste

EDIT: i just saw that guy above me sigged me for flaming him after saying he would eat 3 animals for evey animal PETA saves..
wtf is wrong with the pit...
Every form of control over another person is a crime

AEK Athens
Asteras Exarcheion
Prasini Thyella
Rayo Vallecano

RED MILITIA-Vamos a Vencer
#18
Quote by KenMasters
EDIT: i just saw that guy above me sigged me for flaming him after saying he would eat 3 animals for evey animal PETA saves..
wtf is wrong with the pit...


Someone hasn't read Maddox.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#20
Quote by neopowell
I was thinking of using it against hecklers.

"Fuck you. See my t-shirt? That's your mum and your aunt."

If those are the jokes you're going for then I'd advise you to record it and send it to the pit. If the rest of the set is funny, then good luck. Seriously, don't make jokes like that. They're not funny. Not even in Australia
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#21
Quote by neopowell
I was thinking of using it against hecklers.

"Fuck you. See my t-shirt? It's 150% Polyester. Your argument is automatically invalid as I have a shirt that defies the very laws of science. ಠ_ಠ Now, flee, foul Englishman, or I shall taunt you another time."



Try something like that. Or don't
Last edited by soulflyV at Nov 2, 2008,
#22
Quote by soulflyV
Try something like that. Or don't

Win
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#23
Quote by soulflyV
Try something like that. Or don't




See, you could do stand-up.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#24
Quote by break-me-in
Someone hasn't read Maddox.

Good. There is still an untarnished soul in this place.
I hope it doesn't seem, like I'm young, foolish, and green.
Let me in for a minute, you're not my life but I want you in it


O Dayya, te echaré de menos, siempre

Y siempre
Y para siempre
#25
Quote by BlackLuster
Good. There is still an untarnished soul in this place.


I know he sucks now, but he did used to be funny, and he had a good point about vegetarian hypocrisy, so I don't think that's true.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#26
Quote by KenMasters


EDIT: i just saw that guy above me sigged me for flaming him after saying he would eat 3 animals for evey animal PETA saves..
wtf is wrong with the pit...


That was me. It was a joke, and I found your reaction amusing enough for a sig.

Fair point about the t-shirt, just thought of that off the top of my head. If it goes well I'll post up some of the material but I'm still cutting stuff out at the moment so not sure what I'm using. I haven't done stand-up in a while so it's all new stuff and no idea how it's going to go.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#28
If Joey Gladstone (A.K.A. the least funny character on the planet) can do it, i can do it.
#29
Quote by bendystraw
If Lee Evans (A.K.A. the least funny character on the planet) can do it, i can do it.

Ficksed
RULE BRITANNIA
#30
Quote by bendystraw
If John McCain(A.K.A. the least funny character on the planet) can do it, i can do it.


fixored
Every form of control over another person is a crime

AEK Athens
Asteras Exarcheion
Prasini Thyella
Rayo Vallecano

RED MILITIA-Vamos a Vencer
#32
McCain stand up would be brilliant.

"Did you hear the one about the woman who got an abortion? SHE WENT TO HELL AND SATAN SKULLFUCKED HER!!!!! (Vote Republican)"
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#35
Apparently I'd be a good stand-up comedian, I've natural charisma apparently.
Ego inflating praise here:
Quote by Fishyesque
That is SOOOOOOOOOOO sig worthy! Pure awesomeness to you, sir.

C wut I did thar Fishy?

's UG
#36
I stand up once in a while .. mostley to go get food


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#37
Ive always wanted to to do a musical representation of the pick of destiny on stage you know with a couple of guitars and stuff, I reckon it counts as stand up seeing as its so hilarious.
BROCCOLIS
I ated them all.
#38
Im a funny person, but I would suck at standup. I cant just tell a joke, or start thinking of a joke, but im funny as hell when given an oppertunity to put in my 2 cents. Witty, some people would call it i suppose.
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Call me troll, call me psychopath. In the end, I shall stand above you all as you drown in a pool of sex and filth. It will explode your corrupted bodies, and I will walk above the wreckage as a pure man.


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Haggard13 i are impressed
#39
Quote by neopowell
McCain stand up would be brilliant.

"Did you hear the one about the woman who got an abortion? SHE WENT TO HELL AND SATAN SKULLFUCKED HER!!!!! (Vote Republican)"