#1
The House of an Old Man Now Deceased - Sonnet attempt two (alliteration? I'm a poet master)

The scratch and scruff of old, tough boots now damp
with dust that shows me where to step. Careful!
for prints revealed by stoor and muck can tramp
on reckless wanderers and make them dust too.
The old disused work boots leave deeper marks than I.
His steps compress layers of his past: Skin shed
and ideas bled by cocked nails that leave his thoughts awry
are mine. Just clumps of sneezy stuff blown away in tread.
His meandering presence chokes the day
it steals the tumult of autumnal joy
and tosses quiet waves of calming rain.
I peel at painted wood; I aim to strip.
Rip away ten or twenty coats or so:
Calloused fingers scratch what wrinkled fingers sow
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#2
I'll be honest, I have no idea about anything involving structural form. I don't know how its supposed to go or anything like that. So all I can offer on this is my opinion on content, as layout is predetermined. I can say, that I can feel where the structure hurt some of your presentation... it just didn't come out as smooth as it could have otherwise. Last 6 were smooth, but before that not so much.

As to content, I know you only had a few lines to work with, but I feel like you didn't even begin to tap the potential in those few lines. You returned to the same image twice (boots in dust); you used typical and bland imagery (in a few spots) such as "skin shed." I just don't feel you did the idea justice. You talked in circles for the first half of this, with a few deviations here and there for new info, but not until you hit the almost rapid paced section at the end did your skill as a poet really show. If you could make the whole thing read "down the page" like those did, this would have been captivating and fast paces and non-circular and all the things I like to read. It would have held my attention instead of making me stop and start reading 3 times across only 14 lines.