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#1
"So my friend goes to University of ####### and he received these messages from his
friend who was cheated on by his girlfriend. The first message is her
apology, the second is his response. Enjoy.


Tom,


It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.


There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.


I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.


- Sarah


Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken *****s I couldn't care less about'.
You did a stupid thing huh?


No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid
thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if
it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't **** him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,


Tom"

Source.
#2
hmm pretty decent
1. Open My Computer.
2. Open C:
3. Click on WINDOWS.
4. Open the folder "Media."
5. Click on the file "onestop."
6. Listen.
#4
lol, very nice
Quote by Mr. La Fritz
"all fatties report to the gym!"


Quote by mosh_face

music should only sound like a train running into a wall of BC riches plugged into line 6 spiders
#8



and sorry mate, cheating is terrible.

*man hugs*

EDIT: dammit, i thought it was you...then give me back my man hug and go away.

and thanks for the laughs.
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Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#10
Epic
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#11
Respect is now given by me. That's pretty awesome.



<_<
>_>

Quote by necrosis1193
As usual Natrone's mouth spouts general win.

Quote by Silverstein14
man, Natrone you're some kind of ninja I swear


Quote by gregs1020
plexi


i realize the longshot that is. little giant to humongous one.


Rest In Peace Stevie Ray
#12
nice.

i envy tom

:P
v CLICK v



Quote by musicjunkie207
The time I fell on my face on a trampoline and cracked my neck, then proceded to run around the yard in a blind panic screaming "I hope I'm not paralyzed! OH GOD I THINK I'M PARALYZED!"
#14
I found a new hero
If The Sun Refused To Shine
I Would Still Be Loving You
Mountains Crumble To The Sea
There Would Still Be You And Me

My Stuff
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Roland Cube 30X
Washburn Acoustic
Dunlop CryBaby
#15
hahahaha
Gear:
Electric
Yamaha RGX520
Fender Strat HSS

Acoustic
1952 Martin and Co 00-18.
Yamaha FGX730SCA

Amp
Fender Twin Reverb
Fender Amp FM25 DSP

Pedals
Boss DS-1
#16
haha your mate was ****in a fatty
Quote by _testament_
Go drink some fucking bleach, asshole.


Gear
Jackson RX10D - Fitted with a Bareknuckle Warpig
Ibanez SA36FM
Squire Strat
Marshall MG250DFX
Boss Metalzone

For Sale:

Kustom 10w amp
Various Daphon Pedals
#18
omg that is the best!!!!! this thread so wins!!!!
To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say of what is that it is, and of what is not that it is not, is true.


#21
Dayum Son :

Tell me why I had to be a powerslave
I dont wanna die, Im a god, why cant I live on?
When the life giver dies, all around is laid to waste.
And in my last hour,
Im a slave to the power of death


Member Of The Jagermeister Fan Club
#22
thats awesome
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
#28
is this the same tom from "faster tom, run"??
Emerse your soul in love


You used to be alright What happened?


Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her Dark Eyes .
#30
I hope this is Tom the myspace guy.

Cos he's my friend.
Quote by crazy8rgood
This, stockylachy, if i was a woman, i would want you to have my babies...

Wait...
#32
Tom, you no longer have to "run faster"

She was sucking off Russel, wasn't she?

That bitch...
#33
It was a pretty good burn letter, but I find blunt, distant one-liners that showcase how insignificant the person was to be more effective, and less time-consuming.

"Terribly sorry love, which Sarah was this?" etc.
Your Signature:
#34
GENIUS!
her message made out like she'd barely done anything, what a bitch
Tell your friend: he may have lost his bitch, but at least he's still got wit!

EDIT: I realise now that this isn't your friend, but I'm too proud of my rhyme to remove it.
Last edited by AceOfBlades at Nov 2, 2008,
#36
That is something I will never forget. I hope I get cheated on someday, as terrible as it sounds, just so I could reply to the girl with something like this. outstanding.
#37
oh man, did last night felt good. this girl gave me head in a public toilet at a bar. Feel sorry for her boyfriend though...

Seriously though, i think he was rather harsh. From her message, she seemed sincerely sorry and didn't try to make an excuse.
If Rock is a life-style, then Metal's an addiction

Yelloooow!


Of The


UG Challenge

#38
I sued Delta Airlines, 'cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey, I went there, and it SUCKED.
#39
hahahaha wow. i was expecting this to be incredibly stupid, but man that was some funny shit. the part about her world revolving around blow dryers, labrador retrievers, etc. killed me.
MM Stingray
MIA P Bass
MIM Jazz Bass
GK 700RB-II Head
GK 410SBX Cab
Sansamp 3 Ch. DI
Crybaby Bass Wah
Bass Big Muff
DD3 Delay

MIA Strat
Nashville Tele
Martin 00015M
Hot Rod Deluxe
Big Muff
DS1
Hendrix Crybaby Wah
Last edited by funkbass369 at Nov 2, 2008,
#40
Tom?

MySpace Tom?
Quote by Grundy0
Never forget what really matters in life, friends and family.
Team Pale Yellow?
------m-------m------
| | (oo) | |
||(~)||



Mom <3
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