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"So my friend goes to University of ####### and he received these messages from his
friend who was cheated on by his girlfriend. The first message is her
apology, the second is his response. Enjoy.


It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.

There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.

I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.

- Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken *****s I couldn't care less about'.
You did a stupid thing huh?

No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid
thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if
it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't **** him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,


hmm pretty decent
1. Open My Computer.
2. Open C:
3. Click on WINDOWS.
4. Open the folder "Media."
5. Click on the file "onestop."
6. Listen.
lol, very nice
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"all fatties report to the gym!"

Quote by mosh_face

music should only sound like a train running into a wall of BC riches plugged into line 6 spiders

and sorry mate, cheating is terrible.

*man hugs*

EDIT: dammit, i thought it was you...then give me back my man hug and go away.

and thanks for the laughs.
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Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

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The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

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Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
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Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

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I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

Respect is now given by me. That's pretty awesome.


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As usual Natrone's mouth spouts general win.

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man, Natrone you're some kind of ninja I swear

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i realize the longshot that is. little giant to humongous one.

Rest In Peace Stevie Ray

i envy tom


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The time I fell on my face on a trampoline and cracked my neck, then proceded to run around the yard in a blind panic screaming "I hope I'm not paralyzed! OH GOD I THINK I'M PARALYZED!"
I found a new hero
If The Sun Refused To Shine
I Would Still Be Loving You
Mountains Crumble To The Sea
There Would Still Be You And Me

My Stuff
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1952 Martin and Co 00-18.
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Fender Twin Reverb
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haha your mate was ****in a fatty
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Go drink some fucking bleach, asshole.

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For Sale:

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omg that is the best!!!!! this thread so wins!!!!
To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say of what is that it is, and of what is not that it is not, is true.

Dayum Son :

Tell me why I had to be a powerslave
I dont wanna die, Im a god, why cant I live on?
When the life giver dies, all around is laid to waste.
And in my last hour,
Im a slave to the power of death

Member Of The Jagermeister Fan Club
thats awesome
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.


...but the rape never came
is this the same tom from "faster tom, run"??
Emerse your soul in love

You used to be alright What happened?

Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her Dark Eyes .
I hope this is Tom the myspace guy.

Cos he's my friend.
Quote by crazy8rgood
This, stockylachy, if i was a woman, i would want you to have my babies...

Tom, you no longer have to "run faster"

She was sucking off Russel, wasn't she?

That bitch...
It was a pretty good burn letter, but I find blunt, distant one-liners that showcase how insignificant the person was to be more effective, and less time-consuming.

"Terribly sorry love, which Sarah was this?" etc.
Your Signature:
her message made out like she'd barely done anything, what a bitch
Tell your friend: he may have lost his bitch, but at least he's still got wit!

EDIT: I realise now that this isn't your friend, but I'm too proud of my rhyme to remove it.
Last edited by AceOfBlades at Nov 2, 2008,
That is something I will never forget. I hope I get cheated on someday, as terrible as it sounds, just so I could reply to the girl with something like this. outstanding.
oh man, did last night felt good. this girl gave me head in a public toilet at a bar. Feel sorry for her boyfriend though...

Seriously though, i think he was rather harsh. From her message, she seemed sincerely sorry and didn't try to make an excuse.
If Rock is a life-style, then Metal's an addiction


Of The

UG Challenge

I sued Delta Airlines, 'cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey, I went there, and it SUCKED.
hahahaha wow. i was expecting this to be incredibly stupid, but man that was some funny shit. the part about her world revolving around blow dryers, labrador retrievers, etc. killed me.
MM Stingray
MIA P Bass
MIM Jazz Bass
GK 700RB-II Head
GK 410SBX Cab
Sansamp 3 Ch. DI
Crybaby Bass Wah
Bass Big Muff
DD3 Delay

MIA Strat
Nashville Tele
Martin 00015M
Hot Rod Deluxe
Big Muff
Hendrix Crybaby Wah
Last edited by funkbass369 at Nov 2, 2008,

MySpace Tom?
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Never forget what really matters in life, friends and family.
Team Pale Yellow?
| | (oo) | |

Mom <3
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