#1
The last lynch of hatred
Has pulled me higher off the ground
We shall not speak of this with horrific sound
Choking from the skies above
Misery shows no love…

Thousands scream suffering’s voice
As if the moral god’s servants have a no choice
What is left of this burden we hold?
A camp of the sick, the dying, and the cold?

The leader of manipulation
Controls the faith of a population
In the story of Aryan domination

Deals on our lives and numbered like sheep
Death camps scars cut fatally deep
As the your blues eyes wander silently sleep

A war around the world is coming upon us
Human rights has gone with the gust
While bullets rust..

Thousands scream suffering’s voice
As if the moral god’s servants have a choice
What is left of this burden we hold?
A camp of the sick, the dying, and the cold?

The leader of manipulation
Controls the faith of a population
In the story of Aryan domination
#3
Although I did find it to be a good piece, I also found it kind of unoriginal. What I mean by that is, I basically knew the words before I saw them. But it is a good piece as I said above. I did enjoy it, but I guess I am just trying to say mix it up a little bit, add some flair to the vocabulary used. Good job though, keep working, you have great potential and you know how to write. I have to grab the link to my piece right away.

EDIT: There you go...https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=991917
My Gear:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guitars:
Gibson Explorer, Worn Cherry-

Amps:
Fender Roc Pro 1000 - 1 x 12 Combo, 100 watts, Hybrid


Effects:
Blues Driver Keeley Modded
#4
Quote by deathforyouth
Although I did find it to be a good piece, I also found it kind of unoriginal. What I mean by that is, I basically knew the words before I saw them. But it is a good piece as I said above. I did enjoy it, but I guess I am just trying to say mix it up a little bit, add some flair to the vocabulary used. Good job though, keep working, you have great potential and you know how to write. I have to grab the link to my piece right away.

EDIT: There you go...https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=991917



I wouldn't say unoriginal. Thought that was kind of harsh but thanks for the crit.
#5
Sorry, I could have chosen a better word. But did you understand what I meant by it?
My Gear:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guitars:
Gibson Explorer, Worn Cherry-

Amps:
Fender Roc Pro 1000 - 1 x 12 Combo, 100 watts, Hybrid


Effects:
Blues Driver Keeley Modded
#6
Quote by deathforyouth
Sorry, I could have chosen a better word. But did you understand what I meant by it?

Yeah, I guess.