#1
Can I have some crit please?


V1
I used to love you
But then that love died
That was when you left me
THat was when i cried

Chrous
So i'll sing happy birthday
And you'll dance around
But deep in my mind
I want you to drown
This is the moment
Where all this shit ends
So i'll run to the mountains
and shout out my sin's

V2
I want to fight you
But then you fought me
I want to kill you
But you couldn't kill me

V3
This is the real shit
This is your death
This is a new day
For me a new birth

Bridge
I'm gonna kill you
before you kill me
cause you are disturbing
disturbing to me
and im gonna love you
for the rest of my days
but this is the ending
to my hearts long stay

V1
Chorus
V2
Chorus
V3
Bridge
Soft Chorus
heavy Chorus


I was wondering what people thought of this, I never knew that this was here and i want some opinions on my songwriting
Last edited by mczack at Nov 3, 2008,