#1
OK, so this is seriously my first song ever written, I know, it probably sucks, but eh, still working on it and its not done yet. Its mainly telling a story of a guy framed for murder after he woke up from his coma, and his life after it living in solitary confinement (thus, "never lived", because he has no memory of his past life, all he knows is the confinement, telling you because its probably unclear in the song). Let me know what you think

_____________

Verse:

Livin' out his days,
Wonderin' what the **** is the point.
Sittin in the cellar,
As he lights up one last joint.
His temporary euphoria,
which was really all he had left
Eventually wears off leavin him unfulfilled and sad.

Chorus (x2):

His hatred for mankind,
justified by this crime.
Oh how none wished to free the shadow,
of the man who never lived.

Verse 2:

Exiled from civilization,
O' solitude was he.
Woke up from coma day ten,
and what does he see?
No memory of his former life,
his wife and son of three.
Both dead his kid, his wife,
No success from the cops,
So scapegoat they made him be.

Chorus (x2) agian:

LOL i know it sucks, but any advice, maybe tell me where i can improve?
My Gear:

Schecter Gryphon Ruby Red


Dunlop Original Crybaby
Jekyll and Hyde Ultimate Overdrive

Laney LC50
Vox AD15VT Valvetronix


My Youtube Channel, check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/user/SSnake77
Last edited by SSnake77 at Nov 4, 2008,
#2
this sounds pretty good. if i knew the tone and how the lyrics went i'd be able to rate it better...but i give it a 3.8 outta 5 good job.if you have the time check mine out.