#1
undecided about the title but hears the song anyway

how could you know
what it is ive done
you were never around
when the trouble begun

how can you say
you understand
im the one
who had to be that man

and this is what happens
when you go away
time may be a great healer
but i know you wont stay
i want you to know
where im coming from
but you just dont listen
ive had it were done

although its important
to have your own space
you've left a void
that we cant erase

i just want you to feel
like i did that day
but everythings changed
since you've been away

and this is what happens
when you go away
time may be a great healer
but i know you wont stay
i want you to know
where im coming from
but you just dont listen
ive had it were done
when irish eyes are smiling, you've had to too much to drink cus eyes dont smile, mouths do
#3
Em, tis a fingerpicking song too
when irish eyes are smiling, you've had to too much to drink cus eyes dont smile, mouths do
#4
Quote by skatooter


how could you know
what it is ive done
you were never around
when the trouble begun
good, simple. is making me ask questions.

how can you say
you understand
when i was the one
who had to be that man
changed L3, flows better. apart from that, good, simple again, makes me continue to ask questions.

and this is what happens
when you go away
time may be a great healer
but i know you wont stay
i want you to know
where im coming from
but you just dont listen
ive had it we're done

this lack of explaining has now become cliche. sorry.

although its important
to have your own space
you've left a void
that we cant erase
this lack of explaining is on my nerves. i know that its kinda the point of the piece, but it annoys me. seems like half assed writing, as if you were writing cliches.

i just want you to feel
like i did that day
but everythings changed
since you've been away
good returning on ideas.

and this is what happens
when you go away
time may be a great healer
but i know you wont stay
i want you to know
where im coming from
but you just dont listen
ive had it were done

ive kinda run out fo things to say. the lack of explaining,developing of ideas got on my nerves, seemed cliche. you didnt seem to put much thought into this. it would work as a song, but not as a piece.



sorry for the negativity.

C4C? link in sig, whatll it be.
#5
yeah i have to try and avoid cliche, i keep doing it, the trouble is i just try and write words that will fit the song i just made up without thinking about it, cheers for the crit anyway
when irish eyes are smiling, you've had to too much to drink cus eyes dont smile, mouths do