#1
HI GUISE!

So I posted this song probably 5 months ago now and last week I completely reworked it. Just posting it for general criticisms and any ideas about the structure.

The last bit is just meant to be a solo - very gilmour-esque that I was gonna improvise. (You'll know it when you see it.)

Oh yeah and it's C4C just link me to yours and I'll try my best.

Cheers
-Luke
Attachments:
July2008.zip
Last edited by Bloodsick at Nov 5, 2008,
#2
I can't hear the guitars in the intro and verse very well cause piano eats them.

Chorus sounds beautiful, the progression of the Bridge sounds good
but didn't like the climax part really much.
Maybe a little boring from bar 146 onwards but the solo has lot of potential.

Pretty good, just didn't like the keyboards.

8.5/10
#3
Hey man, thanks for the crit. Now let's get to it.

Intro: Very nice intro/verse section. I dont think the piano eats anything up too badly, per se. it goes nicely and the subtleties of the guitar shine through in parts and makes it very atmospheric. Nice.

Chorus: Really the chord progression, very original idea. You can definitely tell thats where the music starts to break, as i say.

Bridge: Not bad, concise..yet defined. i liked the piano throughout this part as well. it traded roles as the subtle part this time and it worked out really well.

Climax: Awww yeah, here we go. haha. I like the drums a lot through this part (i've been drumming for 8 years..as opposed to the 6 years on guitar..ive got a soft spot for percussion, i guess lol). The riff at bar 86 is really cool. I like the breakdown feel to it.

The melodies and verses after this do get a little tiresome, but not bad at all. Lyrical content would help to push us along, im sure.

The solo is great. Awesome feel to it..it slows down your mind a little and lets you breathe, with those notes being the air that refills the lungs. Great potential for the improv part, would love to hear it recorded.

Overall man, great tune. I liked the ambience a lot and I'm a sucker for piano, so you got me.

10/10 on this one. Keep em comin!
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#4
i remember this one, i actually saved it to my computer and ocasionally listend to it for pleasure (not that u can really with midi).

I love ur intor riff. i find it to be rather ambient.

The chords in the verse are so nice. the drums could be more OR less aparent. their to middle of the road.

The chorus reminds me of somthing Opeth might do.

the bridge is epic but i think the transtion from the chorus to the bridge could have been smoother.

i love this song, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

86- i dont really think that this riff fits the rest of the song.

it sounds uber europen (cnt spell i know)

one other thing i noticed is that the bass line were quite intelegent.

the guitar solo was slightly borring but maybe that cause ive been awake too long. it could use 16ths in somewhere abit more

good song man but ur older version is better

also did u write a "deathcore" song called kaos?

could you please crit mine?
'https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=995695
#5
Quote by BKGMorley
...also did u write a "deathcore" song called kaos?...


Nah, you must be thinking of someone else.