#1
This is Turtles... and it is a really great song because not only is it awesome and longer than all of my other songs, it actually ties them together so I have one big MEGASONG. That's right, they are all connected in this order:
Nonfluence
Garret
Turtles...
Walking the Plank
Hammerman

Eventually I will make a GP with all the songs together in one neat little package, but that will probably be when I get some other songs made to accompany them, along with a short instrumental or two. Anyway this song is great, it has a great solo (not as good as walking the planks), a standard metalcorey breakdown (not as good as nonfluences(because it's so standard sounding)) and a bunch of other neat stuff.

But really, I like it. It has a bunch of great riffs in it! Only thing I'm worried about is it's flow, I'm not sure if some parts flow well so please tell me if you hear something that didn't flow right, but I really worked on that last minute adding drum fills and such. I delve into a 13/16 riff in this song as well, I don't I have ever did that but it's badass as hell. Anyway, here it is.

C4C


EDIT 11/6/08:NEW VERSION
Attachments:
Turtles All the Way Down.zip
Last edited by bloodshed344 at Nov 6, 2008,
#3
riff at 51 was the only lacking riff in it, the rest was great, best song youve written id say. especially the breakdownish sections
#5
Wow that was awesome, kind of reminded me of dreamtheater and trivium at the same time :P, very long song lol.

Not much i can add, but its sounding really good, i really love that thrash section lol.
I play guitar =]
#6
hey, thanks for the crit on "Candid Camera". One question about your crit tho that has nothing to do with the crit itself..what gave you the notion that i liked Protest the Hero? To be honest, ive never heard any of their stuff..haha. I really appreciate the detail you went into for my crit and i will do the same, right when i get home from work. I'd like to put forth all my efforts and right now, i just cant. expect a crit on this song (turtles) when i get home from work! Thanks a lot man!
-Epi LP Ultra
-Mashall MG100HDFX half-stack
-Tama Imperialstar
-Epi "Hater-Slayer"
-Fender Ultimate Chorus
-Fender US Strat
-'51 Fender Pro-Amp Model 5A5 TV Front (sexy beast)
-Wechter Pathfinder A/E
-Washburn D-10SB
#7
Quote by ApolloTSI
hey, thanks for the crit on "Candid Camera". One question about your crit tho that has nothing to do with the crit itself..what gave you the notion that i liked Protest the Hero? To be honest, ive never heard any of their stuff..haha. I really appreciate the detail you went into for my crit and i will do the same, right when i get home from work. I'd like to put forth all my efforts and right now, i just cant. expect a crit on this song (turtles) when i get home from work! Thanks a lot man!

Oh man i coulda swore that Thomas Erak was the singer of PtH, I guess his name is really similar to someone in that band. Ahh well.
#8
Quote by bloodshed344
Oh man i coulda swore that Thomas Erak was the singer of PtH, I guess his name is really similar to someone in that band. Ahh well.


no hes from fall of troy
#9
I've got to say that was a pretty incredible song man. It felt like BTBAM nearly throughout the entire thing with parts of born of osiris here and there. \

The intro reprisal starting at bar 122 was probably my fav part of the song but the polysynth thing was a little too odd for my tastes. I also don't like the clean guitar sound, jazz sounds much better. Outro flowed extremely well too.

I'd love to you a more thorough crit but there are no labeled sections and it's a big pet peeve of mine haha. It is a brilliant BTBAM style song though man, excellent job.
#11
thanks again for the crit man. i can finally get to yours now haha.

i liked the intro, a nice riff with a great lead to keep you listening.

I really like the riff that started at bar 34, its cool that you went with 5/4 timing into the 4/4 then into the 10/8. it leads well into the blast beat.

i liked how you dropped the drums for bar 70. it kinda gets the listener back into the groove after that hell storm of a stanza before it haha.

bar 90...this riff is killer. puts me back in my stoner, death metal days. reminds me of snowboarding..off point but anyways...haha, yeah i liked this riff a lot and the harmony u used a few bars before between the two guitars. i love minor thirds.

bar 96 starts a great heavy riff, very reminiscent of fall of troy in my opinion. sounds like tri-tones would've fit really well here, but fifths do well also. i love the half-time feel it has. makes me wanna bang my head til im blind.

i agree with zakatak on the clean guitar part. the cleans are too bright. u should've used either a les paul sound in the RSE or the jazz guitar. its a good instrumental by all means, its just the tone.

i like the solo that starts at bar 134. this whole intro-reprise is probably going to be my favorite part as well. very well arranged and sounds very epic.

the breakdown after the solo's is another good one. was impressed by this rhythm. its simple, but original.

i really like bar 194-195. just sounds like all out warfare and mayhem, my kinda stuff.

the clean part at 198 is alright. the synth isnt really doin it for me tho. i wouldve liked to have seen/heard a distorted lead over these cleans instead.

Overall its a great song, very nicely arranged and amusing all the way through. the drums are excellent in this one. Very good job on this..ill give it a 9/10. it should get a 10 for its technicality, but some parts didnt seem like they fit too well and that synth..ahhgh. Great job tho, keep em comin!
-Epi LP Ultra
-Mashall MG100HDFX half-stack
-Tama Imperialstar
-Epi "Hater-Slayer"
-Fender Ultimate Chorus
-Fender US Strat
-'51 Fender Pro-Amp Model 5A5 TV Front (sexy beast)
-Wechter Pathfinder A/E
-Washburn D-10SB
#12
That's the best thing that I've heard in weeks.
Loved every part of it.

*Round of applause from me*
#15
dude, is this song actually about turtles? you need to make it about space turtles!!!!

again a brilliant song, really well put together!!! well done!
"We carry death out of the village!"
#17
Before I get started with the crit, I'd like to say I've been a big fan of your work for quite some time, and I know how great your writing can be, so I'm going to be comparing it to that level.

Good intro, really good bass. The riff/solo starting at bar 21 is really awesome, very nice work here. The riff at 34 was good, nice job with the time signature. Bar 43 introduces the heavier part, and does that very well, extremely nice job on that riff. Your ability of writing in strange time signatures always amazes me. I didn't like the riff at 90 , seems kind of... blah. If I were you I'd take out that part completely (I cut out the 4 bars and it sounded find). The breakdown following it, however, is awesome. I couldn't really get in to 107-110, there really isn't any melody, or anything interesting in my opinion. Bring back the intro was cool, then mixing it with the chord progression made it even better, very epic. You might want to turn up the solo guitar, I couldn't hear very well. As for the solo itself, it fit very well, nothing to really comment on. The breakdown was another really cool riff. The rest of the song perfect, nothing to comment on.
This is probably my favorite song of your's, because it sounds Btbam influenced, and not done by Btbam themselves.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=979239
Quote by fob12
Him -"Hey, give me a high five!"
Her -"hahaha why? *high fives*"
Him - "Because I just dumped you for the lulz!"
Her -"... what?"
Him -"*runs away*"


Quote by Lefty7Stringer
killswitch engage has some dissonant riffs, they're kind grindcore tho

#18
Quote by zakatak9389
I've got to say that was a pretty incredible song man. It felt like BTBAM nearly throughout the entire thing with parts of born of osiris here and there. \

The intro reprisal starting at bar 122 was probably my fav part of the song but the polysynth thing was a little too odd for my tastes. I also don't like the clean guitar sound, jazz sounds much better. Outro flowed extremely well too.

I'd love to you a more thorough crit but there are no labeled sections and it's a big pet peeve of mine haha. It is a brilliant BTBAM style song though man, excellent job.

You don't listen to much music do you?
#19
Well, I thought the breakdown parts were freakin' cool. I liked the use of marimba too, it's such an under-rated instrument.

One thing I must critique on is that during the guitar solo/s (starting around bar 122 iirc), there is too much action going on in the background, effectively 'flooding out' the soo and making it sound too quiet. What I reckon you should do is either lower the level of the other instruments, or maybe cut out a few parts. If you were going for the quiet guitar kinda thing then just disregard this. Just my two cents.

However, I really liked the outro part, really nice

And the transitions throughout the piece were flawless. I wish I could maintain such a graceful flow.

C4C?