#1
Silent silos, abandoned and forlorn
await the return to a new war dawn,
an angry rage and a violent border
the coming age of the New World Order.

Illuminati and world cartels
preparing us for our earthly hells
Micro chips and martial law
Feed the rich and kill the poor.

chorus
So stand up and fight
reclaim our humanity
We must overturn
their evil profanity.

(a work in progress) all ideas gratefully received.

Gareth Felkin
#2
Quote by Gareth Felkin
Silent silos, abandoned and forlorn
await the return to a new war dawn,
an angry rage and a violent border
the coming age of the New World Order.
Nice intro verse, Not a lot to change, just get rid of "a" before violent border.

Illuminati and world cartels
preparing us for our earthly hells
Micro chips and martial law
Feed the rich and kill the poor.
The first two lines are great, flowing well and tie in well to the picture verse one painted. The last two lines don't really seem to fit with the song much at all. I'm sure Martial law could probably stay, but Micro chips draw seem to draw away from the picture you painted previously.

chorus
So stand up and fight
reclaim our humanity
We must overturn
their evil profanity.
Evil is a rather bland term here, i'd replace it with something better.

(a work in progress) all ideas gratefully received.

Gareth Felkin


Overall, it feels good so far. I'd probably legnthen the chorus, but I usually say that XD C4C (link in sig)? Nice work so far.
#4
Thanks Guys! Im encouraged enough to proceed. Will post finished product soon, and have a tab for it too!
#5
Silent silos, abandoned and forlorn
await the return to a new war dawn,
an angry rage and violent border
the coming age of the New World Order.

Illuminati and world cartels
preparing us for our earthly hells
Microchipped kids and martial law
to feed the rich and kill the poor.

chorus
So stand up and fight, reclaim our humanity
We can overturn the senseless profanity.
Whatever it takes, doesnt matter how long,
unite in the cause for together we're strong.

Probable title; TOGETHER WE'RE STRONG

Style will be similar to Megadeth-ish.