#1
you guys know what momma jokes are right? well, you know how you say them randomly sometimes if someone asks a "who" question? you know, like: "Who did you say was pretty?" "Your mom!" yeah, well i did this today, and now i feel like such an ass because the guys mom is dead. yeah. i feel horrible now! but it was a kid who's, like, a total jerk and no one really likes him at all. anyone else have a crappy experience like this?
Quote by brandon369852
lolworthy- classicrockboy WIN of thread.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
~ Jimi Hendrix

UG Backing Track Band
UG Rock Opera
Check out my songs for it

Currently e-single. Hit me up ladies
#2
No, because I killed the lad's mother through excessive dick-slapping. Actually happened as well.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#6
Your mom had a crappy experience... wait
What would you do...?


He treats objects like women, man.
#7
Your mom has a wheel on her back and thinks she is a transformer
Quote by frankv
Tokio Hotel is probably the worst thing Germany has produced since WW2.


#8
Quote by Klondyke OG
Your mom had a crappy experience... wait

FAIL
Quote by brandon369852
lolworthy- classicrockboy WIN of thread.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
~ Jimi Hendrix

UG Backing Track Band
UG Rock Opera
Check out my songs for it

Currently e-single. Hit me up ladies
#9
your moms so fat, she went to the doctor and the doctor said she had to go on a diet or else she would develop diabetes and/or heart disease
Clocks tick. Your days are numbered in low digits.
You look suspicious - suspect niggas is bitches,
Get chopped up, grade-A meat, somethin' delicious
#10
u didn't know so u shouldn't feel like an ass. my mom died two years ago and i pretty much ignore the yo mama jokes unless they're out of control then i let em know not to say that shit anymore.
Deacon of Zeppelinism PM TheHeartbreaker to join
speed demon of the UG Jeepers
Member of the Neutral Milk Hotel club PM Hamish5178 to join~
#11
I could have sworn TS user name was ClassicCOCKboy...Yes that was my joke.
,___,
[O.o]
/)__)
-"--"-

,___,
[¬.¬]
/)__)
-"--"-



Quote by FishCream
Stop Performing Meathook Sodomy On Yourself
#12
my freind was like "dude me and your mom had some fun last night"
so i sayed "my moms dead bro.." shes not really, i jsut wantded him to feel like a dick, and he goes
"o, thats why she wasnt moving around a lot"
Quote by iantheman
I laughed at someone for breaking his g-string, and got sigged


Quote by Veil Of Osiris

You just made me spit out my Kool-Aid all over my keyboard.


sorry
#15
your moms so fat that when she saw a school bus full of white kids she yelled "stop that twinkie!"
#17
or:

You: 'blah blah'
Me: 'I had a very erotic evening with your mother last night.'
You: 'She's dead'
Me: 'I know, it was a bitch to dig her up.'
#18
ive done that twice. one time it was cool cause the kid new it slipped and were both chill. the other time i told a kid that his mom didnt die but just got lost in his fat....AWESOME JOKE
#19
your moms so fat... she weighs more than an average person!
Soon, death metal's drums will be so fast only computers will be able to listen to it.

94? Not bad. It shall improve >=)

Who's looking for hosting? My/My Friends site will be up and running soon, looking for customers - PM me if interested.
#20
Quote by boreamor
My favourite was this:

Guy: So what did you do?
Friend: Your mum!
Guy: My mums dead you asshole!
Friend: I guess that's why she didn't move around much...

This actually happened.


Fixed
#21
Quote by angusfan16
your moms so fat that when she saw a school bus full of white kids she yelled "stop that twinkie!"

your mom is so fat that she fell in love and broke it

(geez i have said this a gazillion times!!! [grammar please])
Quote by Vagabond21
Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#22
Yes I actually have done that before. Only thing is, instead of saying it to some asshole, i said it to a girl I had a crush on. That took about 2 months and 300 apologies before she would talk to me nonetheless...
Quote by Ponyexpress
Grammar Nazis scare the living crap out of me mainly because I'm half Jewish


MY SONGS:
[thread="985311"]A Love/Hate Relationship[/thread]
[thread="985301"](All) I Can See[/thread]
[thread="983897"]My Heart is a Hand Grenade[/thread]
#23
Your Mammy.

/thread
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#24
My current girlfriend's mum died early last year about a month before i started seeing her, and for the first like 5 months of our relationship me and my mate Gareth had to get all "ya ma" jokes (English version of your mom) out of our system before we met up with her, every time. We were terrified. I mean, back then, they were just so natural we didn't even think about them if anyone asked or generally said anything "ya ma" would be incorporated into a reply. In fact I believe Gareth failed once he accidentally said it and I just froze and watched his face slowly arrange itself into the facial equivalent of "oh sh*t", but I don't think she noticed, or she ignored it lol.
#25
Quote by magnum1117
your mom is so fat that she fell in love and broke it

(geez i have said this a gazillion times!!! [grammar please])



touche
#26
Quote by riffmasterjosh
u didn't know so u shouldn't feel like an ass. my mom died two years ago and i pretty much ignore the yo mama jokes unless they're out of control then i let em know not to say that shit anymore.

actually i did know... but i just forgot
Quote by brandon369852
lolworthy- classicrockboy WIN of thread.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
~ Jimi Hendrix

UG Backing Track Band
UG Rock Opera
Check out my songs for it

Currently e-single. Hit me up ladies
#28
Ah, can't forget the time I was eating at one of those country style restaraunts and decided to tell a joke, "So there were these 2 Chinese guys...." and the guy I was telling it to was like, "Are you sure you wanna tell that joke?" and I'm like, "Why not?" He points over into the party room where they are having a family reunion and every single one of them are Chinese. They all turn and stare at me... "So, there were these 2 French guys..."
Quote by Ponyexpress
Grammar Nazis scare the living crap out of me mainly because I'm half Jewish


MY SONGS:
[thread="985311"]A Love/Hate Relationship[/thread]
[thread="985301"](All) I Can See[/thread]
[thread="983897"]My Heart is a Hand Grenade[/thread]
#29
Quote by CurbstompBass
I started telling Jew jokes at lunch today, not realizing we had a Jewish kid sitting there.

I felt like an ass until he started telling them too.


today in my speech class we were playing this game called "freeze"

2 people start a seen, and when it gets boring someone says freeze and switches place with a person of choice.

well everybody in my class is white, so we started telling jokes about obama during a skit where one person acted out his role.

my best friend said "freeze!!" and he started acting like he was tieing the guy up to the wall. he pretended to whip him, and said "you wana try to touch my daughter again?"

right when he said that a black girl walked by and looked in the door.

everyone was so silent you could hear a pen drop.... then she sorta laughed and left.

as far as I know she didn't say anything to anyone.
Quote by EbEar
oh and yao151 i love the fact that you as a fan of metallica and slayer likes John Frusciante, i wish more people around here had an open mind like that


see...
I'm not narrow minded

just narrow dicked
Last edited by yao151 at Nov 13, 2008,
#31
Yo momma's so fat she got more chins than a chinese phone book!

Yo momma's so fat everytime she swims in the ocean the wales sing "WE ARE FAAMILY!"

Yo momma's so fat she buys tampons from carpet world!
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#32
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Yo momma's so fat she got more chins than a chinese phone book!

Yo momma's so fat everytime she swims in the ocean the wales sing "WE ARE FAAMILY!"

Yo momma's so fat she buys tampons from carpet world!


Your momma's so fat, she died from a heart attack!
#33
i said that to my friend who's mum died, but i apologised, gave him a hug and he knew i didnt mean it so it was all "k koo".

but...

yo momma so fat she went into space and got stuck!


Quote by Hot_Money420
My dog died yesterday, that was a crappy experience...


i thought you said it was crappily expensive for a second!
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
THE WiLDHEARTS

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
#34
After some total tool asked me why i had put on so much weight (like 5 pounds ffs) I came back with the reply "because everytime i F**k your mother she makes me a bacon sandwich"

I was quite proud of that comeback, and equally ashamed of stooping down to a "your momma" joke :S
@dbostwick
#36
I did a, "I did your mom," joke once when I was younger. The kid's mom was dead, too. But I wasn't aware of that. So when he told me so, I mentioned that I kept her on ice.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#37
My mother is a wonderful lady, and I will fight anyone to the death who says different.

Do itttt
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Gibson Faded V
Warmoth Strat copy
Epiphone Hummingbird (FS!!)
Ibanez SR400QM
Fender BXR100
Reggae Bass Covers mahn!!!

#38
no, for two reasons

a)those jokes aren't funny in the slightest
b) I know whose parents have died..
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#39
Quote by wesleyisgay
my freind was like "dude me and your mom had some fun last night"
so i sayed "my moms dead bro.." shes not really, i jsut wantded him to feel like a dick, and he goes
"o, thats why she wasnt moving around a lot"

I LOLD