#1
im not really sure i like it, what do you think


Falling, into the darkness that is your heart
Piercing, your softest skin with the dullest dart
Broken glass, holding you up
Dripping blood, into the cup
Like a leaking roof in a thunderstorm
Like a broken faucet in perfect form
Screaming, the pain, lays, its seed
Infecting, with such great speed

You pierce my heart with all that I have lost,
All your fiery hate that rains down like a holocaust,
You throw your dart, and you total my cost,
Holding, in your hand, the moment when rage and hate crossed.

The body is absorbed by this, but not by the wound
Absorbed by the greed, in grief, is so finely attuned
Your lies, your hate, all sing in one
My past life, you decide to shun
Living here, this pit of eternal hell
Decayed me, as I sit here in my cell
Carrying out yet another arbitrary command
Completion, carrying my hate, my contempt, all in hand

You rain down, like a holocaust,
Burning, everything that I’ve lost,
Just to prove how you’ve let me down,

Still, the glass is pierced, still sinking in
Again, I wait, how quick is poison?
Last edited by seankellyultgtr at Nov 6, 2008,
#3
I think its good, but it should be a little more specific, it kinda sounds like you're tryin too hard to make the lyrics follow a certain concept. It would be better if you tell more what it is about. Overall, good though.