#1
Hey this is my first post in this part of UG, just see what people thought, its very slow and melodic guitar line, just tell me what you think

Thanks in advance Dan

Write from the soul
Play from the heart
You are the reason
This whole song starts

Feel my fingers
Slipping away
How can I survive
If you don’t stay

Oh yeah she is taking me over
My mind would wander just to think of her

Out of control
Over the edge
I need an answer
I need a pledge

At the back of your mind
On the tip of your tongue
On my cloudy day
You are my sun

Oh yeah she is taking me over
My mind would wander just to think of her

She’s taken control
She’s taking over
She’s my last thought
She’s the one I sought
She took control
She took over
She’s my first though
She’s the one I found
Quote by .HUZZAH.
Just hit all the strings at once, raping your e string and making retardly out of place pinch harmonics

oh wait, this isn't a slipknot concert..

FREEBIRD!


And the amish said let their be CHEESE...
#3
Thanks very much, yer i have to agree i hate that line too, but i needed something and i just stuck that in for now.

I was thinking replacing it with

You are the reason
my day starts

or

if this were the pit

You are the one
who touches my private parts
roflmaoloflcopter hahaha!1!111!one!11ELEVEN
Quote by .HUZZAH.
Just hit all the strings at once, raping your e string and making retardly out of place pinch harmonics

oh wait, this isn't a slipknot concert..

FREEBIRD!


And the amish said let their be CHEESE...