#1
There was something about that alleyway that made every muscle in my body yearn to turn around. But I wasn't sure whether I was more afraid to move forward into the unknown darkness, or back into the misty light from which I had previously come.

The thought was brushed from my mind when all of a sudden my right foot was freezing cold. I peered down at the cigarette littered ground and saw that it had submerged into a rain-filled pot-hole. Just what I needed--another obstacle to keep me from continuing on.

However, I had learned early on in life that the more obstacles this hell-hole of a world threw at me, the harder I would push to get through them. So I lifted my foot, moving one step beyond the hole. The look on my face said, "Take that! Another feat for me!", but facing the wall no one would see it.

Somehow that wall, though it screamed "shit" in red and blue paint, provided some sense of security for me. I went to it with all of my problems because, well, unlike friends, I never had to wonder if it would be there. Not to mention, everything it told me was very consistent, "shit".

And shit was always right.

How many times had this happened--my mind and heart fighting an all-out war? (Too many times to count) And who was right? My mind, while knowledgeable, had no intuition, and sometimes that's all you need to make a choice. But my heart, it never thinks, just does. And we all know that can get a person into a world of trouble. The answer, so seemingly far away, made me want to scream. In fact, though I never opened my mouth, I swore I could hear it.

I was staring at the artwork on that wall, getting angrier and wetter, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Geez man, what world were you in? I've been yelling at you forever! Let's go," and with little resistance he pulled me out of the alley, back onto the clean, sun-covered, people-filled sidewalk.
Last edited by Cyclones41 at Nov 13, 2008,
#2
Sorry it took me so long to get to this. Anyways, I enjoyed reading this. I thought the setting and the pacing was great. There's just a couple of minor things I would look over. Second paragraph "all of a sudden my right foot turned freezing cold" and "peered down at the cigarette...". Also i want more specific description that water-filled. I think even rain-filled would sound nicer.
#4
This was very enjoyable, i'll probably come back tomorrow and hit this up properly