#1
If the sirens break
If the tide rolls in
If the wind picks up
And the windows crack
Then the battle will begin

If the meat turns bad
If the food is done
If the worms set in
And the hunger stays
Then the feeding has begun

If the plastic melts
If the heat pours down
If it starts to form
Into a child’s face
It’s time to burn the town

If the reasons change
If the tears remain
If the lantern glows
And the path is lit
Only you can be to blame
#2
It sounds awesome, but I don't get it.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Go see U2, then you can say you contributed money to Bono's giant Irish tower built out of the blood, tears, and the hopes of African children.
#3
Quote by wolfat the door
If the sirens break
If the tide rolls in
If the wind picks up
And the windows crack
Then the battle will begin

If the meat turns bad
If the food is done
If the worms set in
And the hunger stays
Then the feeding has begun
Will you be able to sing this with out it sounding choppy? I like what it's saying, but maybe try to shorten the last line a bit.

If the plastic melts
If the heat pours down
If it starts to form
Into a child’s face
It’s time to burn the town

If the reasons change
If the tears remain With the change/remain thing, seems a little forced
If the lantern glows
And the path is lit
Only you can be to blame


Overall the rhyming pattern seems like it could only work with the right tempo. Also, I'd try to lengthen it a bit. But nice, nonetheless c4c?
#4
Hmm, the rhyming confuses me. It seems a little off beat. Also, I don't get it. I mean, I like the way it sounds, I just don't get what the lyrics mean... And if you could check some of my songs out, they're in my sig.
Quote by Ponyexpress
Grammar Nazis scare the living crap out of me mainly because I'm half Jewish


MY SONGS:
[thread="985311"]A Love/Hate Relationship[/thread]
[thread="985301"](All) I Can See[/thread]
[thread="983897"]My Heart is a Hand Grenade[/thread]