#1
Then tell the pit about it!

My mediocre example: Last week I had to do a music performance for school, which was graded and whatnot. There were a few teachers and parents in the audience, including my year level's dean. As far as she knew, I was the stay-out-of-trouble nice kind of student. Anyway, I had decided to play/sing the song 'Orestes' by A Perfect Circle. When the last words faded away, I'm pretty sure she saw me differently; "...keeping me from killing you."

Now, impress me.
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You're just another brick in the wall
#3
um, when my drummer bought a manson shirt just to scare old people. the day he bought he said he went to home depot and got the most "your going to hell" looks he's ever gotten in his life lol
#4
One time I went into a stadium bathroom and there was a bunch of people waiting their turn. I walked over to a urinal and pulled my pants & boxers down to my ankles like a little kid does when they use a urinal. I proceeded to attempt casual small talk to the people near me like it was completely normal. That got me some funny looks especially from the old people.
#5
One time my buddy and I were in Denny's, probably drunk, and there was an elderly couple sitting across the room from us. We started talking about marriage and boring stuff like that, so I said "I'm just afraid that I'll meet a girl some day and fall in love and get married, but, suddenly, after two years, she'll want to run out and find a guy that 'doesn't hit her.'"

The humor was lost on that nice couple.
You're*
#6
One time in math class, I was pretending to be gay to the faggot sitting next to me, really gay, licking my ruler and rubbing his leg. He was yelling at me and punching me, I kept doing it though, eventually he told the teacher, the teacher called my Dad, it wasn't a pretty night...
#7
I ate them.
Quote by chimneyfish
"death-metal is the best when its in the shape of a dildo and shoved in my ass"


Born to lose...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...live to Win
#8
When this old couple with this HUGE FUGIN DOG (like it was a horse) walked by me. And as the dog brushed my leg i realized how big it was and i yelled " THATS BIG ****IN DOG!!"

The just frowned at me...
#9
A family of Jehovah Witnesses came at our front door.

Here's how it happened:

Man: "Hey, son, do you like movies?!"

Me, noticing the Jehovah Witnesses flyers: "Sorry sir, I was busy having anal sex with my girlfriend, and we're not even married! You also didn't give me the time to drink my fourth beer. Oh, and by the way, there's no god. Have a nice day!"

Man: "*Completely puzzled look as the door is closing before his eyes"
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

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i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#10
i ran through my school fete screaming aas a mate chased me in a gorilla costume
we got some bad looks
and some laughs
Pull my finger

Quote by Explicit User

"Kyle.. Do you know what homosex is?"
me:"...yes... why?"
"Do you want to have it?"
Me again:"...no Anthony..no i don't"
"Oh.. okay.. good night"

haha

Quote by madhampster
Dear god the pit is a force to be reckoned with.
#11
I was in the health aisle of the supermarket. I needed some bandaids and there's like 394534 different kinds of bandaids so it took me a while to figure out which ones to get.
And in the supermarket condom section is right beside the bandaids and antiseptic.
And this old lady walks past and gives me the worst look look and goes
"So young to be trying such things" and walks off.

=[
"It's only after you've lost everything," Tyler says, "that you're free to do anything."
#12
Quote by FuZzY(aus)
i ran through my school fete screaming aas a mate chased me in a gorilla costume
we got some bad looks
and some laughs


Haha. I would have found that funny. =P
"It's only after you've lost everything," Tyler says, "that you're free to do anything."
#13
Quote by FuZzY(aus)
i ran through my school fete screaming aas a mate chased me in a gorilla costume
we got some bad looks
and some laughs


Hahahahaha!

I just watch the bands at my local fete.
#14
when i was in kindergarden i went streaking, yes i still remember then. i was like 5 or 6 and im 16 now.

when i got home i wondered why everyone was so mad at me
#15
Me and some friends were in the pub once and it was the first time I'd met my then-girlfriends coworker. She thought she could outdo me in sick humour...she was wrong.

Fifteen minutes of rape, dead baby and Madeline McCann jokes later, the manager came over and asked us to leave because we were upsetting the old couple on the next table.
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Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
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You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
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You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#16
My English teacher always thought i was a really smart, polite kid. She was showing this presentation of a poem to images of Vietnam during the war, which i laughed all the way through. Apparently she was crying at the end and she stared at me with the biggest '**** You' look saying, "I'm glad some of you found that so funny." I feel bad now...
#17
i got caught with a bong sneaking out of the house, that shocked my mum, but my dad is more of a "im dissapointed with you" so he played it straight
#18
One time my grandpa and I wired a new outlet in my basement...
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."-Duke
#19
Quote by JosefTheGodless
One time I went into a stadium bathroom and there was a bunch of people waiting their turn. I walked over to a urinal and pulled my pants & boxers down to my ankles like a little kid does when they use a urinal. I proceeded to attempt casual small talk to the people near me like it was completely normal. That got me some funny looks especially from the old people.



Thats ausome, JosefTheGodless your a legend