#1
so i was writing a song and i have the lyrics posted up in the s+l forum, and i started writing music to go along with it. the lyrics are included in the gp files just for reference. theyre not totally in sync, so i guess only i know how it really sounds

i cant really tell what genre it would fit in, because it stretches things a bit. most of the singing is done in death growls, unless its a completely acoustic portion, at that point its a haunting whisper (like in insomnium). but the guitars during the fast parts sound a little like they came from a core band, but its still something that you can bang your head to

i just gotta know if its worth finishing, and how to make the transitions between the fast parts and the slow parts smoother. and even if the song isnt worth finishing, the lyrics are imo.

so go ahead and take a listen, what do you have to lose?

EDIT: thanks in advanced, i say this here to avoid bumping my posts
Attachments:
longsong.zip
Last edited by jetfuel495 at Nov 9, 2008,
#4
The longsong mid file does sound like a good song. As for genres, imo you would need either an extremely talented vocalist for both soft and heavy parts, or two. A song with this much genre changes would need great vocals. it sounds good though, i havent opened the gp files becuz i dont have guitar pro right now but once i install it ill have a look.

Nice work, i can see this as a potential song. all thats left is to add the other instruments and it will be a job well done.
#5
hey man thanks for criting my song. i loved how you called apart of it "the calm before the storm". im going to put that as a lyric in that part. cheers man


So i'll start off by saying that the chord change on the 4th bar was amazing. it melted my soul. the harmony guitar in the acoustic intro is uber effective. and the distorted chords over the top were even better.

Now for the riff on 27, im not a massive fan of "CORE" (apart for some of the death stuff). anyway to me this riff is just another metal core riff. nothing stood out to me at all.

The following riff. (the hell she creates) will (in my veiw) if you have a groovy phat beat behind it.

The riff on 61 with the distorted power chords. i reckon u should take them out. it doesnt to the acoustic any justice.

The lead at 69 is pretty cool but you could make it abit more interesting.

The riff at 77 is almost celtic. i rather like it.

Riff at 85. same issue. you need a phat beat there.

those chords at 112 are really nice. very sad chords those. fits perfectly with the lyrics.

128. i hear a lead in this bit. i really think that u should fiddle around and see when u can come up with.

137- i would have said dont go any closer to a breakdown than this. its a smart move not breaking in down in this one.

141. a much better "CORE" riff that ur earler one.

149- this my fav riff in the whole song. i think it would sound good with blast.

165- wicked riff, sooo crunchy. lots of pm im assume?

the part begining at 185 it a apropriate outro for this peice. wasnt massive on those harmonys though.

I hope u dont mind but ive put some drums in some parts and a solo over that piece i was going on about. they are very simplistic.

good song bro
Attachments:
longsong.zip
#6
no problem man

i must say though, i cant take credit for coining the term "calm before the storm". my friend said it when we were driving and a similar part came up in a song we were listening to

the riff on 61 with the power chords; i see what you mean. i guess youre right, it might not fit too well. maybe ill just make them chords on the acoustic. i have to have something simple that i can play there because if i play and sing live i cant do complex pieces like that while singing.

lead at 69 was just some fudging. i was trying to get something that sounded like daughter of the moon by insomnium

the riffs at 43 and 85 are simple so i can play and sing them at the same time, but yeah, a phat drum beat makes it alot better

149 = pure stroke of luck

165 = yes, LOTS of palm muting

the drums and the solo that you added in are nice, and im glad you did. if i ever record this song ill be sure to credit you for that.

maybe ill repost this when its 100% complete. id say its about 2/3rds there already

thanks guys
#7
Overall a pretty good tune although it feels to me as though there are two different songs going on at once. You need to figure out a way to bridge the heavy riffs with the acoustic parts even if it just means cutting out a bar of rest between them.
I think the song might be better without the "core elements" although the riff at bar 141 is very good and does add to the song.
The breakdown type riff at bar 165 could be much better maybe try something less continuous.
The most memorable riff if definately at 149
Love the outro as well.
#9
As whole, it sounds like Omnium Gatherums new album, The Redshift.

I hear the Insomnium influence, but none of it flows nearly as well as anything they write. The song is very disjointed; you'll play a part, strum a chord let it sit for a few bars, then go to the next part, which is usually acoustic for no real rhyme or reason. You could have built on the riffs, make them build, then bring in the acoustic to release tension, or something like that.
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