#1
I wrote this song over like 2 months or so, writing whenever i was bored. Its my first solo written song and i need some opinions or tips or whatever to help me. I've written with some mates before, and they turned out alright but im not sure if this is. I've got all my guitar riffs and chord progressions, mostly consisting of chord progressions from my influences lol, but only 2 verses and a chorus for lyrics. I'm only 12 so sorry if its shit lol. Its in e minor and modulates into like d major through a bridge.

Lyrics:
Verse 1:
So you sit their posing for a photograph
Smiling your worries away
But deep down inside your tearing yourself apart

chorus:
So we'll run away
Leave our troubles far behind
We'll leave without a trace
Start our lives anew
In our secret reality
Where everything is as it should be
(not sure on last two lines of chorus)

Verse 2:
So you sit theif posing for a photograph
Smiling your worries away
And you know that you won't last much longer
With the weight of the world on your shoulders

Chorus:
So we'll run away
Leave our troubles far behind
We'll leave without a trace
Start our lives anew
In our secret reality
Where everything is as it should be
(not sure on last two lines of chorus)


After that ive got a bridge and then just like a improvised solo. thanks =D
#2
seems ok but i cant make it flow when i say it outloud ( it sounds choppy)
Quote by SOADrox429
Dude... I want to date a drum major. I bet they could fuck in time to Tool.
#5
try adding spaces to where you sing it longer (i dont think that made sense)
record it
Quote by SOADrox429
Dude... I want to date a drum major. I bet they could fuck in time to Tool.
#6
*reported*

You already had another thread closed cause of the title. Take a look at the rules man, only allowed the song title and genre in the thread title, nothing else.