#1
first contribution to these parts, an old school death metal song i wrote pretty quickly. no bass or drums and still far from finished, id like suggestions on how to improve it please

EDIT: updated with latest version
Attachments:
Song.zip
Last edited by Ripping Corpse at Nov 10, 2008,
#2
sup!!!

your intro riff reminder me of early death. actually most of this song sounds like death.
espesally that riff starting on 17. i can also hear nile on bar 42. bar 33 - 35 isnt that amazing. i find it pretty borring actually. your solo has afew cool bits like bars 90 and 91 but apart from that its rubish. im not a massive fan of the old school death metal but i do love death metal. make that solo longer i say. also theres afew riffs in the second death riff that just sound really off.

8/10 dude

fancy critting mine please

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=995695
#3
Quote by BKGMorley
sup!!!

your intro riff reminder me of early death. actually most of this song sounds like death.
espesally that riff starting on 17. i can also hear nile on bar 42. bar 33 - 35 isnt that amazing. i find it pretty borring actually. your solo has afew cool bits like bars 90 and 91 but apart from that its rubish. im not a massive fan of the old school death metal but i do love death metal. make that solo longer i say. also theres afew riffs in the second death riff that just sound really off.

8/10 dude

fancy critting mine please

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=995695


thanks, by the second death riff you mean the one between 17-32?

EDIT: critted yours
Last edited by Ripping Corpse at Nov 9, 2008,
#4
The intro gives of a good Death feel. I like the creativity that was put into it. Bar 17 is my second favorite part of the song. In the part with the tremolo picking, I think you should put something else except the powerchords. The solo was very Death. Kudos! Great song.


The only thing I didn't like is the rhythm playing. It was far to bland and uncreative.

My song is in the sig.
#5
Quote by Graveworm
The intro gives of a good Death feel. I like the creativity that was put into it. Bar 17 is my second favorite part of the song. In the part with the tremolo picking, I think you should put something else except the powerchords. The solo was very Death. Kudos! Great song.


The only thing I didn't like is the rhythm playing. It was far to bland and uncreative.

My song is in the sig.


thanks, ive critted yours.

when you say the part with the tremolo picking you mean starting at bar 33?
#6
Quote by Ripping Corpse
thanks, ive critted yours.

when you say the part with the tremolo picking you mean starting at bar 33?


Yes.

I mean all the parts with the tremolo parts.
#7
ive updated it a bit. not sure if ive ruined it now though. still cant think of a decent solo or a rhythm to go underneath it any ideas anyone?
Attachments:
Songnew.zip
#8
Quote by Ripping Corpse
ive updated it a bit. not sure if ive ruined it now though. still cant think of a decent solo or a rhythm to go underneath it any ideas anyone?



I hope I didn't butcher your song. I only altered the rhythm.
Attachments:
Graveworm's version.zip
#9
Quote by Graveworm
I hope I didn't butcher your song. I only altered the rhythm.


thats cool dude, some bits of it i like, some i dont. ill mix your version and mine and post it here either tonight or tomorrow
#10
done it. still havent thought of anything to go under the solo, but graveworms rhythms have made it more interesting i think. see what you think.
Attachments:
Song new.zip
#12
Quote by Graveworm
I hope that i didn't ruin the song.


dude thats ****ing awesome. the solo is killer! i wish i could write them like that. you've been a big help, thanks a lot.

anyone else got any comments to add to that? i think its pretty much as good as it could be now.
#15
Dude intro intro is awesome... then it goes downhill

Way too much randomness and constant fast picking.

Crit any of mine? VV
Quote by naedauuf
I'm in need of a guy
#16
Quote by Demonology
Dude intro intro is awesome... then it goes downhill

Way too much randomness and constant fast picking.

Crit any of mine? VV




fair enough, i respect your opinion. anyone else?
#17
^ sorry man I don't like being harsh I feel guilty right now lol. thanks for the crit on mine though (Y)
Quote by naedauuf
I'm in need of a guy
#18
Quote by Demonology
^ sorry man I don't like being harsh I feel guilty right now lol. thanks for the crit on mine though (Y)


lol no problem dude. not everyones going to have the same opinion.
#19
has anyone got any ideas as to what i could do with the drums? im really bad at that
Quote by duncang
If Varg had any sense of humour, he'd open the album with a cover of Superstition.
#20
Good Work,
The intro is good, for the intro use a technical slow bass-drum track
For the second riff you can use a blast beat on the drums
I don't liked the arpeggios part...
Good but nothing special, work more on the riffs and on the rithm

7/10

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=995278
R.I.P.
Chuck Schuldiner 1967-2001
Ronnie James Padavona 1942-2010
Darrell Lance Abbott 1966-2004
Jon Nödtveidt 1975-2006
Per Yngve Ohlin 1969-1991
Øystein Aarseth 1968-1993
Joe Ptaceck 1973-2010
Ace Börje Thomas Forsberg 1966-2004
#21
Thanks for the crit =]

Sorry I'm late, haha.

Anyways on to the song.

Intro: Very melodic and death metal. I loved it.

Main: Riff, I liked it. It's very cool and sounds a lot better on real guitar. Good placement of powerchords.


Bar 90. I liked this "run" or fill. It fit nicely into the song.
Arpeggio riff: Goes very well with backing rhythm, sets a good mood.

The solo is good but I wish it was more melodic then shred, you know? Other then that its a great death metal song
#22
Quote by Ze_Metal
Thanks for the crit =]

Sorry I'm late, haha.

Anyways on to the song.

Intro: Very melodic and death metal. I loved it.

Main: Riff, I liked it. It's very cool and sounds a lot better on real guitar. Good placement of powerchords.


Bar 90. I liked this "run" or fill. It fit nicely into the song.
Arpeggio riff: Goes very well with backing rhythm, sets a good mood.

The solo is good but I wish it was more melodic then shred, you know? Other then that its a great death metal song


thanks man
Quote by duncang
If Varg had any sense of humour, he'd open the album with a cover of Superstition.
#23
okey dokey.
first riff - Bit repetive but I like the chord progression though.
second riff - umm.
thrid riff - yay! a new riff and it has a lot of character. dig it
after the first temolo riff i kinda blanked out until the solo showed up. rhythm guitar finally got some interesting things to play. didn't suspect that. The volume fade out at the end fit well with the riff.
#24
Well I just want to say out front that Death just isn't my style.

Outside of that, I actually quite enjoyed the most of this song I liked the tremelo part, but I think you should change it from 32nd trems to 16th trems. 32nd's just sound really screwy.

The solo really jumped out, and it's a great solo, just lacking a rhythm (I looked at the one just before Graveworm added his rhythm behind it.).

Get some drums and some bass in here and this could turn into a great song. I think the bass you could actually do pretty much right now. I mean, how hard is bass, right? If you're not doing leads or anything in particular with it, you can easily go in and give this song a bass track.

8/10, needs some minor adjustments, like the ones mentioned above, and then you've got yourself a great song! This coming from someone who really doesn't care for the genre
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#25
thanks guys
Quote by duncang
If Varg had any sense of humour, he'd open the album with a cover of Superstition.
#26
I really liked this. When the little progression at 17 hit, I imagined some pounding bass pedals and Chuck screaming his guts out.

The song seemed to be a bit meh empty without vocals or drums, but that's an easily fixed problem. It also was a bit empty with only a few repeated riffs, though I was happy for the riff again at 71.

Nothing for you to crit, but I'll PM you when I post a song.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
#27
ok thanks for the comments and advice. ive added drums and bass, but the drums are really bad because im not a drummer and ive never really had to do that before. maybe someone kind could improve them? lol
Attachments:
Songnew.zip
Quote by duncang
If Varg had any sense of humour, he'd open the album with a cover of Superstition.