#1
18th song.

This is another experiment of mine with layering, with a wide gamut of genres at play here, as well, with influences ranging from Ulver and Agalloch to Porcupine Tree to Rites of Spring to Paramore and on and on and on. (And sorry for the long-ass title, haha).

I tried mixing up my transitions, too, trying to create different kinds of contrast. Hopefully I didn't bomb that.

This is probably one of my most ambitious works yet, so I hope you enjoy!


Attachments:
When The Clouds Break.zip
#2
Wow man, that is really cool. You definately have a lot of talent. Don't stop writing!
#3
That was great, but I felt th piano was a bit too much in the beginning. I'd like it more if it was turned down a bit in the mix(for the intro atleast). Overall, I really enjoyed it, you have great talent buddy.
#7
I rather liked this one, B.

While I wasn't a fan of the "main parts" I was a huge fan of the piano and acoustic interworking together. There isn't much to criticize except you need to bring back that piano!

I know, not my best crit ever, but hey nothing much to criticize.


9/10.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

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Last edited by Slaytanic1993 at Nov 13, 2008,
#8
the piano part for intro is great, dont change it.
verse one is really great, nice buildup for a stronger part.
the chorus is EPIC! really nice work on pianos again, you have some skill.
after the double bass drum part its really good. hell i really like this song !
9/10

crit mine will ya? thx
#9
hmm...well, the others seem to like the intro, but I really don't really like the way the acoustic and piano sound together. But other than the beginning, I really like the song a lot. The dual guitar parts are really well done.
#11
Postmelofolkcore

*joins bandwagon and openly fellates broadsword's works*

i especially liked the piano/acoustic blend
#12
Lol, best song I've ever heard. I can't think of anything that you would need to do to improve it. Maybe what moneysintheday said with downplaying the piano a bit. Other than that, that was an awesome song.
Last edited by ScythePuppet at Nov 14, 2008,
#14
Quote by dminishedthingy
Postmelofolkcore




Thanks for the comments and input, guys. I'll get back to the crits soon.
#15
That was freakin' beautiful, man!

You really captured the sound of Agalloch, in my opinion, esp. with the sound of the acoustic guitar. And the lead parts.

The bells too, REALLY reminded me of Agalloch.

I didn't really get that much of a Porcupine Tree feel, but I can see why you'd say that, from the solo @ ~b105.

The ending part was, by far, my favourite out of the whole thing, the fantastic fadeout, followed by that lovely piano line. Though I reckon it could have used a fade-out, I dunno if you were going to put that in and just forgot it or left it as a given or whatever, but it's great the way it is anyway.

c4c?

#16
Enjoying the lead melody in te opening verse.
Chorus just kicks right in like a warhorse.
accoustic guitar flourish at the end of bar 61 sounds forced. o no more of them but they dont sound as bad after bar 71.
Nice clean lead solo , and I love where it goes at bar 90.
Guitar solo on the piano track was a little too much and it lost melody in some parts.
Although i like the piano at the end I dont like the interlapping transition.

Anyways, C4C.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1001843
#17
i'd like to add that i loved the fade out to piano, i guess no one here realizes you ripped it off from Odal/The Melancholy Spirit
#18
okay, that was nothing short of FANTASTIC! All I can really say here is take out some of the repeat bars in some of the slower parts. To me, some places just seemed too slow and didn't need a repeat. But other than that, all the writing is spot-on perfect! I can't wait for song 19

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1001918
Thanks!
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#21
There's not really much to criticise. This is a rather fantastic piece.

If you really want to be nitpicked, I felt that the bar 133-134 change was a bit harsh, and sort of killed the mood that the previous four bars had built up. I also felt that maybe a whole chord or an effect of some kind at the end of the outro would've tied the song up a bit nicer.

Honestly though, it's great as it is.

Thanks for critting my work, btw (:
#22
The chord at the end of bar 61, 65, 69, sounds weird. Maybe because the let ring option is still on for that part. Don't think the acoustic works for bars 122-125, that might just be preference though. Piano outro might be too much, too

Crit mine? Sorry this isn't much of a crit, but it's a great song.
#24
I personally thought it was decent. This is coming from a long time Agalloch (amongst other bands in similar genres).

The beginning with the piano and acoustic parts was great. Throughout the song I felt there were a few problems, though. It is too repetitive at some points. I know this style of music relies on repetition a lot, but its a bit excessive; especially since you are repeating A LOT of parts. In addition to that I do not find many of the leads to be overly memorable. I preference the quieter acoustic moments on here, even though they are relatively simple arpeggios and chord playing. I suppose some of the flaws could be worked with dependent on what kind of effects you put on the guitars and what not, but as far as the MIDI is concerned it is hard for me to really get into the piece at some points.

Don't take this the wrong way, its pretty good; but needs some work.
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