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#1
Ok, so this is my song. It is Death/Cynic influenced, and in the key of F# Minor/A Major. It is made to be played with Capo 2, so with capo 2, all the "2"s mean an open string. If you dont understand what I mean by that, PM me. Also, please no flamers. Give me constructive critisism. Ill have a Youtube video up soon of me playing it. Please dont steal my song!!!! Check my Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/CriesOfThePast522
Thanks!!!
Attachments:
Jazz Death.zip
Last edited by bulletrocks522 at Nov 16, 2008,
#2
that was awesome dude, without even considering that you're 12. really heard the chuck influence in the solos and a couple of the riffs. no real complaints at all, keep it up. you have a hell of a future.
#3
Quote by Ripping Corpse
that was awesome dude, without even considering that you're 12. really heard the chuck influence in the solos and a couple of the riffs. no real complaints at all, keep it up. you have a hell of a future.

Thank you so much!!!! I try to incorporate a few Chuck style riffs, but I put my own touch on them so im not a rip off.
#6
C4C means you rate his song and all. Generally you give them about a detailed rating as they gave you. BTW, I'm gonna edit this post with a critique in a few minutes or so, your an amazing player for 12 years old. I saw some of your covers on youtube (Crystal Mountain and Stabwound) Muhammad Suicmez wasn't allowed to even have a guitar until he was alot older than you are and look how good he is now.
#7
Not to be picky, but you're not allowed on this site.

But I don't care, because fucking want you to be!

This song was really impressive. I liked everything, except to things. The four-bar-pause between the intro and the first dist part and that you kind of almost always used sixtenthtriplets in the solo. You should try and change rhythm once in a while. That put aside, solo 3 was freaking win!

9/10
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#8
Quote by ..NEM..
Not to be picky, but you're not allowed on this site.

But I don't care, because fucking want you to be!

This song was really impressive. I liked everything, except to things. The four-bar-pause between the intro and the first dist part and that you kind of almost always used sixtenthtriplets in the solo. You should try and change rhythm once in a while. That put aside, solo 3 was freaking win!

9/10

Ok, i made a few VERY minor changes. Here
Attachments:
Jazz Death.zip
#9
I liked it. It's very original but at the same time shows influences. The solos were pretty awesome.

It's also pretty unique how you decided to use a capo for a metal song.
#10
How about a MIDI for those without GP5?
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#12
Definitely talented. Not just by 12 year old standards. The song is really good. As were your youtube videos. Keep it up and you could be the next Chuck.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
#13
It's good and all, but there is one thing that really annoys me about it.

You shouldn't put "by a 12 year old!!11" after everything, it doesn't make you greater or more impressive then a sixty year old, in my opinion at least. Plus, you really don't need to make you more impressive, as the stuff you do is already pretty solid.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#14
Quote by AngrySockMonkey
It's good and all, but there is one thing that really annoys me about it.

You shouldn't put "by a 12 year old!!11" after everything, it doesn't make you greater or more impressive then a sixty year old, in my opinion at least. Plus, you really don't need to make you more impressive, as the stuff you do is already pretty solid.

The only reason I put my age is o get more people to see it.
#15
Dude, I envy you so badly...the only regret I have with guitar is that I didn't start earlier ( I started at 14, and am now 16)

Your song is great, screw all this about your age, it good period. I can definetely see the Death influence in your song too.

Please keep up with guitar practising man, you have plenty of potential in you. I started listening to metal (like Iron Maiden, Metallica) at age 13. And your listening to Death at age 12!

You're lucky you don't have to worry about school so you can practise guitar more.
#17
Quote by bulletrocks522
The only reason I put my age is o get more people to see it.


Yeah but you don't need that man, the song is great and by saying "by a 12 y/o!" is sending off signs of elitism IMO. Enough people here are bound to check out a Jazzy Death Metal song anyway .
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#18
Any 12 year old that listens to Cynic is a friend of mine.
Maybe U2 wouldn't suck so hard if they stopped preaching and started rocking instead. Of course, that's difficult to do with Pantera holding a near monopoly on all things that rock.
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#19
my only complaint.

the rhythm guitar at bar 48

how is it possible to reach that far?

edit: same thing at bar 72-73

2nd edit: just done listening. this is amazing dude. i dont usually listen to this, but i was very impressed. not that it was done by a 12 year old, but because it just is amazing in itself.

nice job
Last edited by ninja.kitty at Nov 11, 2008,
#20
Quote by ninja.kitty
my only complaint.

the rhythm guitar at bar 48

how is it possible to reach that far?

edit: same thing at bar 72-73

2nd edit: just done listening. this is amazing dude. i dont usually listen to this, but i was very impressed. not that it was done by a 12 year old, but because it just is amazing in itself.

nice job


You dont have to reach if you put capo on the second fret. Read the first post. Thanks for the compliment though!!!!
#21
Quote by bulletrocks522
You dont have to reach if you put capo on the second fret. Read the first post. Thanks for the compliment though!!!!

got it.. im blind i guess
#22
Can you put it in GP4 format for me?
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Him -"*runs away*"


Quote by Lefty7Stringer
killswitch engage has some dissonant riffs, they're kind grindcore tho

#23
I really liked it. I thought it was goin to suck. But it didn't.

Anyway a couple things:

The intro was a little too dissonant for my taste. But that's just personal preference. Bar 9 was beautiful though.

Also, sometimes you repeated a riff too many times, in my opinion. Especially in he distortion intro part. Maybe variate the drums a little bit.

Other than that, great job. 9/10

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#25
dude...or kid i should say.....you are very very good, keep it up and when you are in your 20's no one will touch you! Im 28 and you would destroy me!

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#26
I wish I could find my capo so I could do some of those more melodic licks.

I really enjoyed that.
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#27
Quote by Shining_Yrael
I wish I could find my capo so I could do some of those more melodic licks.

I really enjoyed that.

Thanks!!! If you cant find it, just convert it to E minor (1 step lower)
#28
Its good. All of it sounds good, but it could have been much better. And the jazz part is debatable (it always is here). I hear the Chuck, but I dont hear the Paul Masvidal/Cynic/Jazz Fusion influence.

There were lots of good parts, but also some that need work. For instance, in the last part before the end. The bass and drums could have been so much more active. They could have added quite a lot more to it. The rhythms during the interlude also got a little stale after a while. This isnt much of a problem here, but in the first distortion part, its a bit of a problem. The drums and bass could make that better.

The melodic tendencies are good, but predictable, and the solos are the same. It would have been nice if the scale shred parts had been more than ascending and descending a scale (or descending/ascending in a standard 3 note pattern).
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#29
Pretty sweet song. The intro gets a little bit boring, but I think if you make the drums set a little faster beat it would help. I don't think Verse 3 is even possible the way you have it tabbed out, haha. Solo 2 was really good. Solo 3 was also written very well, it could use a few changes, but it's still really good. Really good song, overall, especially for a 12 year old.
Quote by fob12
Him -"Hey, give me a high five!"
Her -"hahaha why? *high fives*"
Him - "Because I just dumped you for the lulz!"
Her -"... what?"
Him -"*runs away*"


Quote by Lefty7Stringer
killswitch engage has some dissonant riffs, they're kind grindcore tho

#32
A friend from school joined when he was 12. They banned him and unbanned him when he turned 13. Dude, its cool that you're writing such cool stuff at 12 years old but seriously, you don't need to say 'ZOMG I'm 12!!!' in the threads you make, besides, if you're faking your age you might as well hide it. And really, the fact that you're 12 doesnt make a difference. I've seen your Selkies sweeps, they're awesome, except for the ZOMG 12 thing in the title.
Last edited by Myung-trucci at Nov 14, 2008,
#34
Listened the whole way through, loved all of it. The drums were a little iffy in a couple parts, but overall amazing programming in Guitar Pro for your age. That interlude towards the end and the final solo was too cool.

Have you taken any theory classes? Only advice I can give you: Keep it up!
.
#36
I thought that was pretty good. Only thing I would say is, in your lead ideas, try to be a bit less conventional and scale-ic. Instead of simply ascending and descending a scale try phrasing a bit more, a bit of melodic narrative (the old 'tell a story' business). Using more interesting intervals (masking and arpeggiating maj/min/dom/dim 7th chords maybe?), or wider intervals would make them sound much more interesting. If you like scaleic ideas then try using different patterns, maybe ascend in 4ths, 5ths 6ths etc instead of the usual patterns.

Also theres not much jazz there, harmonically/melodically speaking. Although the intro is the closest thing.


Good job though! The Death influence is of course very prominent, and you accomplish implementing Chucks influence into your composing without just ripping him off completely hah.
Last edited by BR00TAL at Nov 15, 2008,
#38
Sure. In the file Ive attatched are examples. For example in 3rds, you play the root, then the major or minor third of that note, depending on the scale. Then play the second note in the scale, and play the third of that note etc. Same deal with 4ths, 5ths, 6ths, and octaves. Of course once your comfortable with each interval you can mix it up a bit. This GP file Ive added is obviously just the bare bones, once your comfortable you can really make your lead work tasteful, whether its fast playing or not.
Attachments:
Scale Intervals.zip
#39
Quote by BR00TAL
Sure. In the file Ive attatched are examples. For example in 3rds, you play the root, then the major or minor third of that note, depending on the scale. Then play the second note in the scale, and play the third of that note etc. Same deal with 4ths, 5ths, 6ths, and octaves. Of course once your comfortable with each interval you can mix it up a bit. This GP file Ive added is obviously just the bare bones, once your comfortable you can really make your lead work tasteful, whether its fast playing or not.

Ok, I took your advice and made the solo more intresting.
#40
One question: Why dont you use the capofunction in gp5? that would be much easier then the way you've done this, or?
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