This is just a rough draft of a song me and a friend are writting. Its just recorded on a computer mic so its not great quality I just really want to get some opinions on the song.

The intro still needs a solo and the singing could be better. you can stop listening to the song and the end of 3minutes and 20 seconds thats just solo room we havent finished. Also the timing is a little off at some points but I just want some basic opinions and imput on it. Check out the lyrics and tell me what you think.

The song is in my mp3's on my profile