#1
I know it's short, but I would appreciate it if you would leave a comment.


As time passes by these words mean so much more
(Father, Savior)
Yet others become meaningless
(Liar, Traitor)
I just can't seem to find words of my own
Hollow words fall like leaves from empty trees
And the things I want to say remain thoughts
Actions of my day loom over more then any phrase or word
It's quite absurd
My mouth is falling apart at the seams
Last edited by IcePh0enix at Nov 13, 2008,
#2
ModEdit: Dumbassery removed
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
Quote by LegsOnEarth
Wait 5 hours
Be accused by the promoter of being late
Get told we have only a 10 minute set
Play pure noise for 10 minutes

Worst and most amusing gig of my life.

Anyone else had this kind of **** happen?!

Dimebag had a worse gig.
#4
i like the concept but rhyming word with absurds( im sure its supposed to be absurd)
but a long sentence and then rhyming it with a short one
its just not my taste
i like the analogies though
like hollow words falling like leaves from empty trees
its a thinker

good start
Quote by Zeppellica
[IMG]http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/897/dugtrioda1.gif[/IMG] your just jealous

Quote by nan0

How can he sue you for stealing your song? I think he's professionally gay.
#5
Haha username94 is one of my irl friends.

Thanks for the comment goldtalon. It's weird, I didn't plan on it rhyming when I wrote it, it just kind of turned out that way.
#6
Quote by IcePh0enix



As time passes by these words mean so much more
(Father, Savior)
Yet others become meaningless
(Liar, Traitor)
I just can't seem to find words of my own
Hollow words fall like leaves from empty trees
And the things I want to say remain thoughts
Actions of my day loom over more then any phrase or word
It's quite absurd
My mouth is falling apart at the seams


repitition of words ruins it here.

apart from that, good, i like many of the ideas you are presenting, which i would really like to see expanded on (father/savior/liar/traitor, fall like leaves)