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#1
Once again thank you for your patience.
And welcome to the Round 3 Finals!



This is how the judging is going to happen:
All the available mods are going to read though a similar thread to this,
they will then vote on which piece out of the match-ups they prefer.
We would have had the pit judge them again but since the mods are a tighter circle
and know each other better it's the fairest way.

However you all deserve some fun too, so here are all the pieces for you to read.

The results will be posted Thursday/Friday within another Elimination thread.
Round 4 will go up around the same time.


Enjoi!


Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#2
CAPTIVATE


Sky Blue:
性感‏

Oh dearest Elijah,
we dream of you in the raw.
Traces of your enticing breath lingers
We long for your short stubby sausage fingers

When you wake up tomorrow it won’t be in bed
You’ll be tied up in our basement instead
Captivated by name now Captive in nature
Hush now my sweet so we won’t have ta beat ya

Your astounding sense of humor,
and the sexual prowess of a puma.
Surely you make any straight man come
to UG, staring at your pics, mm'yum.

Bind you to a plastic chair
Stroke and stroke your gorgeous hair
Drizzle hot wax upon your thighs
Sizzling gives us euphoric highs

'captivate'- that you do, we admire;
our love for you burns like a fire.
You could liken this to drops of sweet Pez,
But not like your hate of acoustic Ibanez.

To fulfill our throbbing needs
We perform these nasty deeds.
Once we’ve gone and had our fill
To the floor your blood will spill

Infatutated by your asian beauty
longing to caress that sweet booty
yellow supports the liberal far left wing
our blood steams for you like a pork dumpring

The yellow team we do hate
We say so in the name of Captivate
To free our souls you must die
Now to the end sweet love, Goodbye



VS.


Yellow:
The Challenge‏

Us Yellow team
we stalked you, its obvious! Can't you tell?
but only found THW's reflection,
at the bottom of the wishing well,
i just wish we had found you, elijah
or Chloe, Kayla or even Canada!?

So i know that this poem,
it seems rather lacklustre,
but in fairness, it really was,
all we poor yellows could muster.
Now while your reading,
we hope that you will laugh
or chuckle, giggle
with the UG staff:

Thanks to the UG challenge we stand divid3d
The Hurt Within us
we have not confided.
Help along us on the way, can the teachings of confusious,
but the hurt, it spreads,
like a Frenchyfungus.
We are no daytrippers,
martys to a Zanascross,
it is real hurt that ferments,
truer than any element.
For the rankles of bitterness, however
a solace may be found,
in the luscious of lush
carmel gardens resound.

Therein lies the soloution,
there is now, only left to do,
to PaintITblack, zappp it white
and make all our problems untrue

as i mentioned, the challenge,in competing we are divided
but in taking part and in winning
in victory reunited
and so we all gather
to recite this poem of late
for it will bring us back together
thanks to our favourite mod Captivate!
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#3
CARMEL_L

Pale Yellow:
Ode To Carmel_l‏

Cannot I, Pale Yellow, come to love thy sweet Carmel.
A fine way for Lady Mel's morals which
Reacts quickly to the spam filled Pit.
More so, bring to me an act of thy love to pommél
Elevation of this infallible lady, I see nothing wrong in my own
Loving of her every minute.

Looking at thy gracefully changing eyes.
I dare look for flaws, and yet, find none.
Values are in no finite for her, for I shall
Never know of a person who matches her greatness for
I love everything about the very special person, Mel.<3



VS.


Pale Green:
Carmel Melts In Your Mouth

Dear Carmel,
Carmel is a mod.
Her name is not Todd.
Everyone loves her ways,
Including trannies and gays.
You sing like a dove, soar like 3 owls.
And when i think of you, I feel something in my bowels.
When it's all spelled out and laid on the page,
Not a person held doubt, you're truly all the rage.
Like a kid with a radio, Long time listener; First time caller,
Vote for my team, and I'll give you a dollar.
You see Carmel, You’ve got the hot stuff,
You’re not afraid to get down and rough,
In the forum of the banned, where you get us our jokes.
So we can watch all the banned losers choke.
Carmel, the master, coming from the holy land.
Take a wrong step and you're bound to get banned.
Her words are as sweet as strawberry jam.
have a fun trip to FOTB for your spam.
If I ever visited Israel, I'll let you be my tour guide.
You'll show me your blue Ovation, which you so dearly pride.
Maybe you'll show me your bedroom where we can get freaky.
Yeah, that's the way I like it. Talk hebrew to me.
When I see your eye change color, I get so turned on,
I feel like I'm Muhammad, writing the Koran.
I'm writer of the month, ask and you shall receive,
The best poem ever, for my girl from Tel Aviv.
"You know what TS? You really boil my blood,
You deserve a warning, but I'll abuse my power. PERMA'D "
That's why I love you Carmel, Mod of the S&L.
Anyone who deals you shit gets a nice farewell.
So kiss them goodbye, that is the yellow of pale.
The only thing I can think of for what their team represents is FAIL!
You know we're the best, we treat you like a queen.
All you gotta do is vote PALE GREEN!
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#4
CONFUSIUS

Dark Red:
Dear Mr. Confusius

Dear Mr. Confusius, person of the great
Let us show you that we don't hate
Should we kiss your ass cuz of your place
or should we all respect those who play bass

We love Confusius- alias Kyrl,
but it's OK! He rhymes with curl
and he is as pretty as a little girl.
His beautiful flowing waving hair
is so SEXY that he makes my
C#11
into a
Cmaj7

His beautiful face makes me drool
He paints his music with oil paint
A work as good as Mingus' Black Saint

Only Confusius knows the ways
of making jazz beautifully play
his inspirations are a kind of blue
and also a bit of Bitches Brew.

Confusius, wise man of The Pit,
your excellence makes our lives seem shit.
Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Should I ****, you'd blow it away.

Dark red is the way to go
Chuck norris gave us an approving nod
lolwut said the mod



VS.


Orange:
Ode To a Man With Larger Testicles Than Us.

Confusius,
UG's master Kung

Philosophy and logic 

Pave the perfect way.
He moderates in fairness 

And never without thought


He teaches much 
and takes so little

Keeps our forums clean

Where would we be without him?
Our Confusius - leader dear.

Confusius, we love you so.

Confusius

On top of women

Naked and happy

Flailing extremities

Underwear missing

Seduced without warning

Injecting heroin

Ubiquitous moaning

Spelunking sacred caverns

Confusius, we love you so.

For all ye ignorant, for ye who do not know -
Use this covenant as holy law, for
Confusius, who many women do blow,
King of logic, King of wit, we adore.

Toast his might, for he is awesome!
He shares our orange color in his name.
Everlasting, our love is in full blossom -

Death will not reach this love-flower;
As hardy as Confusius is wise and fair,
Rising passion, a testament to his power,
Knight of judgment, beyond compare.

Razing ignorance like a site of demolition,
Eating souls like an all-day buffet,
Distorting reality like a politician.

Testicles as large as the gas giant planets,
Ejaculating ambrosia and euphoric bliss,
As strong and tough as concentrated granite,
My lord, my king, my liege - Confusius!
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#5
DAYTRIPPER75

Purple:
Sunset at Elk Neck State Park.

Jehovah's silhouette
against a dying supernova
sator of Polus quod orbis tarrarum
this is how new worlds are Bourne.

Your sad devotion to that ancient religion
has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes
or given you clairvoyance enough
to find the rebels' hidden fortress.

Contemplating the vast and inextinguishable fire
the best star beams down upon its reflected heir
colours run seamlessly from end to end of the spectrum
your eyes can deceive you, don't trust them.

Red, the colour of fire and of passion and of love
moves to purple, the colour of haze
moves to indigo, the gay one that nobody likes
moves to blue, the colour of serenity and peace.

The tale grew in the telling
until it became a history
a story of one man and his amber halo
killing devils, three to two.

A valiant conqueror
of golden beard and likewise flaxen locks
descended, a time long forgotten
when no mortal heard about the hated pear.

By day he used his judgment and power
given him by those with verdant titles
by night he swallows many liquefied breads
trying to score a girl that looked quite fine.

Tripper of day, pirate of night
dueling ninjas until the morning light.



VS.


Indigo:
Daytripper's Serenade‏

Oh, sir daytripper, would you be my mister?
When i see a thread that was closed by you
My mood for the day becomes o so chipper.
Your ominous eyes create such a mystery,
You know i'd like to make us some history.

Your modship is needed cause carmel, as we know,
is really darn conceited.
If you weren't our mod, what would we be?
Another version of 4chan's /b/
Your pumpkin carving contest took first
In the list of threads on october 31st.
With all that done and said,
Oh baby, i really want you in bed!

Once you've read this plea for your love,
Remember that Indigo members care more
Than the purple team who we abhor.
Oh to you, the most attractive of the bunch,
We offer XcadeyX,
A sweet, fiesty, caring girl to sex.

You've outlasted many in their tours at mods,
And I give you my love to increase my odds.
I don't want to be erased,
From competition when its writing based.

With Indigo's love and an honorable sign,
We promise a race of Daytripper75's will reign in due time.
A race of boys made with snips and snails
And puppy dog tails,
And perfect girls with sugar and spice
and everything nice !
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#6
DIVID3D

Plum:
Divid3d We Stand, But Together We Swoon‏

Oh divid3d, when I first saw you
I was hypnotised by your name in blue
Your avatar, 'le raver', was a marvellous sight
While Frenchy's and Greety's were both utter shite

Join date; wow! 2002!
All these years I've worshipped you
For without you I am as good as dead.
I love you so much, plz dnt lock mai thred olol

She watches the newbs, controls the pit monkeys
Securin ur shit from the murderous junkies
But she's a beautiful girl at the end of the day
She can turn men on and turn girls gay

Oh Manda, Oh Manda, your essensce is divine
Oh Manda, sweet panda, how I wish you were mine
Though you carry no nightstick, I know thou ist feared
For I often (wet) dream of you, whilst scratching my (anal) beard

While your looks are so perfect, you heart is so true
I therefore decided, to write this to you
No other is as awesome, or hawter than thou
Not even hotpunksk8ergirl, for she is a cow

You say you're divid3d, but I know you're whole
For there's nought else but kindness, deep down in your soul
Your modship is mighty, but you must go through hell
With pears and with mudkipz, you handle it well

Your pumpkin was cutest, and you should have won
The colour and detail, was perfectly done ^_^
The others were lacking in innocent charm
But omg i just hurt mi arm

So this is my cassette I'm sending you, i hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Manda, I drank a fifth of Vodka, Dare me to drive?
Because looking at you, I'm just so mesmerized (lolol)

Orange and Purple, well they are inferior
Would you like to see my plum interior?
For I'll spread it wide for you if you please
No not Goatse, it's a reference to cheese ಠ_ಠ

Mudkipz and pears and trolling you see
It's not nearly enough to hinder thee
For we are strong, therefore you will succumb
Together we could rule, as The Almighty Plum.



VS.


Teal:
Oh Manda

Divid3d is always in the middle, everything else is secondary
The feelings I have are like an impossible riddle. <wtf?
Adrenaline rushes through my veins like adrenaline in the library,
And Divid3d rushes in my head once more
Like the pictures from Big Boobs Galore
Beauty, which how compares to that of Venus

Attracts young pit monkeys to check your profile twice
Or maybe three, or four, or ten times, whichever makes their sight suffice
The colour teal which suits you best
Shall be admitting of
"ur in mah hart, Manda
forevr steelin' mah luv"

Watching you reign really turns us on
Makes me want to show you my pokemons
Come round to my place, ill show you my knee's
If you get bored we can watch the prestiege
...oh Manda

Well I came and you banned me for spamming
Then you sent me away, oh Manda
Well you banned me and stopped me from spamming
I need you today, oh Manda

Hatred of capital letters? Yeah me too
Hopefully you won't mind if I stick my little one into you.
Ceiling cat's watching but we shouldn't mind
Everything about you's perfect especially your behind

"Ololol The newbies would say
That is spam, and you sent them on their way.
I smile whenever I see you on the Veranda,
Who is this mod that I speak of?
Oh it must be Manda.

We dont need no education
Manda tells us what to do
She has a fondness for dance music
Which I appreciate too

Awesome is divid3d through and through
I bet she can make anybody's guitar moo.
Ofcourse you can choose for team plum,
but only Teal can give you that extra hum.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#7
ELEMENT4433

Sienna:
Element4433

A beautiful beast, courageous and skillful,
a dark side he has, a side that is sinful.

By day he is normal, who would know that he can,
By night become . . the ElementMan!!

His banhammer fierce he wields with great might,
Pitmonkeys can't even fap for their fright!!

Be wary my friends, stay quiet, be still,
For he'll smite you down with his hammer at will!!

His most trusted friend, a white fluffy cat,
Stays at his side, and at his side he does splat

The Brains of the Pitmonkeys over the floors
Of their houses and homes, and even their doors!!

So whenever the thoughts, they enter your mind,
Of spamming, insulting your fellow mankind,

Allow them instead to flow out of your ears,
For if you cross him he'll cripple, he'll kill you with FEAR!!!!



VS.


Silver:
Ode to a column fag

Open chords are a thing of the past,
but not for our loveble column fag.
Oh we do love his curly locks,
even if, its like the hair,
of a hag.
Is it the music taste,
that makes me want to come?
What music taste?
Anyone that strives to bum
punk rock deserves to be shot.
Its easily the most effective method of execution.

For someone,
who's main ambition in life,
Is to be on an mtv date show?
(Why all the toil and strife?)
He's really square.
But not one of those cool squares,
that measures 6x6x6
(My mistake, that's a cube)
Which is actually related.
Because cube rhymes with pube.
Which links back to his hair.

If his name was blue or red
Or even green
People would want to put him in their bed.
With some twisted ambition of glory.
And their 5 five minutes of fame.
You can imagine the threads.
'I BEDDED A MOD LOLHAX'.
Do we really need that?

Although this poem is pointless.
And lazily written.
I think to think that Collin has been made out
to one of those guys,
Who deserves to be bitten, while recieving fellatio.
This may seem harsh.
But remember, he likes punk rock.
And boy,
He likes to troll.

Amidoinitrite Collin?
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#8
FRENCHYFUNGUS

Black:
O frenchy Our King‏

Yo, it's Frenchy
Is it a he or a she?
I don't know nor care
As long as it's banhammer leaves me be.
Well we got news for the grey team
Your time is up,
Cause team black's in the house
So you better give up.
Oh that's right gray
You heard what we said
Why not go home
And just **** off to bed!
But back to our frenchy
The lord of all reds
**** them grey bastards
Hell chop off there heads.
And now it is time
To end this 'beautiful' thing
About a beautiful person
O frenchy Our King.



VS.


Gray:
To tempt Frenchy from his sheep.‏

The Parisian portobello; enchanting and robust;
Can compel us all, to commit the sin of lust;


Despite the confusion over he or she;
Just a few sex changes can't keep him from me'


This stupendous Scot rules well and fair;
Even William Wallace can't begin to compare;


To find a man of genius one needs not look far;
Just ask the sex offender in Frenchy's avatar;


Through wind or sleet or snow or hail;
He will always be here, to ban those who fail.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#9
PAINTITBLACK39

Dark Green:
Ode to Paintitblack‏

God is good, God's great
But paintitblack can kick his ass
Ultimate Guitar.


From now on paintitblack is 2 syllables.


VS.


Blue:
We Love Him Anyway‏

He's our moderator, so devine
Banning noobs, killing pears
He's so cool he doesn't split hairs
He's into Woody but he ain't gay
If he had a cat he surely would spay

i see a moderator and i want him in the sack,
no cheap girls anymore i just want paintITblack [39]

We based our poem on speculation
But he loves us anyway
We might have got it all wrong
But he loves us anyway

We are UG sods
He is my god
And it wouldnt be odd
To paintITblue

dont get me wrong paintITblack
I love you and i got your back

but why should we suck your dick
You pull any of your crazy shit with blue, you flash a piece out on the lanes, we'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the ****ing trigger til it goes click.

NOBODY ****S WITH THE BLUE!...

IM SO SORRY... PLEASE let us kiss your ass
So we can win and go on to the next task

*strums on an acoustic guitar*

He's named after an old song,
But we love him anyway,
He bans us when we do wrong,
But we love him anyway,

He likes the number thirty nine,
But we love him anyway,
His profile wasn't hard to find,
But we love him anyway,

He watches too many chat shows,
But we love him anyway,
He likes guitarists no one else knows,
But we love him anyway,

He likes movies, but names directors,
But we love him anyway,
He drinks only the finest nectar,
But we love him anyway,

He's a UG mod,
He's like a god,
And it's not odd,
To love our Paint.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#10
RANKLES

Olive:
Eminem Presents: 'Twas the Raven's Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before the Christian celebration of the Winter solstice, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even any such member of the rodent family,
Burst Rankles through the lone, silent door, belting "WHERE ARE YOU, LENORE?!"
He'd finally gone mad from administrative tasks,
Tasks more rupturing than a spike in his ass,
He cantered leftwards and he cantered right,
But ****ing Lenore just wasn't in sight,

Suddenly, from across the hall,
Rankles heard scuffles, and muffles, and all,
Then grabbed his long sword from his scabbard did he,
For it gave him 20 Strength, and Agility,
He then summoned a steed from the nightmare,
"I'M COMING, LENORE!" had burst through the air,

He galloped his steed, right through the closet door,
To find his lost love, Lenore,
"IN THE ARMS OF A ****ING AUGUST '08-ER?!
HE'S 12 YEARS OLD AND A CHRONIC MASTURBATOR!"
Squealing, she begged, she pleaded with him,
For forgiveness, but hope was dim,
For he raised his long sword and cut through the air,
Missing the young user's head by a hair,
"Rankles, please stop it!" pleaded Lenore,
"SHUT THE **** UP, KIM! YOU'RE A ****ING *****!"

The scene had unfolded, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse,
And to this day, we still speak these words,
"Remember, remember, the 24th of December,
The murder, manslaughter, and steed,
Which Rankles had committed, after smoking some bad weed,"

But we do love our Rankles,
Oh he of red rank-les,
And his damn sexy ankles,
And his rippling sarcasm of steel,

But one should be wary, and tread oh so airy,
For 'neath smiling eyes and twinkles,
And his so charming dimples,
He does hold the wrinkles,
Assuring those who wrongly cross his path,
Sanguinary, destruction;
A proverbial bloodbath.



VS.


Pink:
Rankles the Great‏

Rankles,
Valiant knight and giver of love...
Defender of peace and hunter of witches...
Will never back down, or taste my glove...
Unlike them olive team bitches...!!!
You keep UG so true,and
Bring us up when we're feeling blue.
Without your helpful name in red,
UG would by far be dead.
Of the mods,
You're the best.
Very much superior
To the rest.
And as you read these lines
The pink list wrote,
Ask yourself,
And then take note.
Who else,
Loves you so?
And who else,
Wants you to know?
After this,
You soon will see.
That the pink list,
Is too great to coexist.
That we for one,
Write not in prose,
But in a form of poetry,
No one else knows.
And every time,
We see your avatar smile,
It helps us run,
That extra mile.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#11
THE HURT WITHIN

Turquoise:
The Hurt Within‏

for every moment we are away
a hurt grows within
the feeling of not having him
come to teach me,
how to make an apple pie in the oven

for he has been taken from me
by a yellowfrizbee,
who claims to be sin free
although he swears to be
a female indeed
clearly i can see
that looks can be deceiving

sombody who cooks
someone who bakes
is something this yellow he/she
clearly cannot fake
for he and i
share the same culinary eye
that the yellowfrizbee
simply cannot deny

although yellowfrizbee claims you to be her favorite
i bet she hasn't told you
about the pumpkin she wants to mate with

and before you denounce this as pure spammotry
i am not just flaming jacquie
it is also to declare, my loyalty

for even if we are miles and miles away
you will always be
the mod i love and want beside me
with a mustache so thick
and a passion the gods would pick

for he is very wise,wanna argue his decision?
There is no other mod for me,
he is what gives my life some spice
Watch him shred that '22 like Ynwie with precision.
also Dont tell anyone but...
I have a tatoo of THW, somewhere very nice



VS.


Lime:
LimeRick-Roll

A thread is born,
The Pit is consumed in laughter,
TS unveils his true colors,
Embarrassment is sought after
A troll is in our midst
Testosterone and blood boils,
The flame shields are broken,
With our minds he tricks and toils
Suddenly Steve steps in and seizes control,
Pit Monkey's are smited by his divine power.
Now that I’ve posted in this ‘reported’ thread,
A hammer is raised as I cower.

Thanks for banning me, Frenchy.

I untangle cords, without UG I’m bored,
So I plug them in, strum nonchalant chords,
Until light commences to leave,
Darkness creeps in the eve, I conceive,
Illusions of Steve beating my drum,
Fingering my fretboard until I am done,
Lime green cum cascades over numb skin,
Hope my scent won't hurt him within,
But he's Pisces, maybe he likes fish,
He'll reassure me with a kiss, but while I wish...

A new challenger appears!

Turquoise is a ho, they’ve got to go,
This is the time, for team lime to shine;
Born to win and we’re doing fine.
Stealth of a ninja, inarticulacy of a mime,
Silent killers, turquoise target is prime.
Hurt Within, hail the win!
It’s not too hard, let down your guard!
As you can see, above all the rest,
The choice is easy, ‘cause lime loves you the best.

Reciprocate, let us win
For we have taken Carmel hostage…
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#12
ZANASCROSS

White:
I Love ZanasCross, And I Mean That In An Anal Sense‏

In the beginning, there was nothing, the universe was ruled
By Sonicxlover (White), SeveralSpecies (Red), and ZanasCross until an epic duel
With his infinite power, Zanas sought entertainment
A duel twixt great powers, of his personal ordainment
A battle of words where the Heroes would reign
With sword over pen and brawn under brain
White formed an army, with John Shaft, Optimus Prime, and the Joker
Red called Carrot Top, Keanu Reeves, and Al Roker
ZanasCross said unto White, "Go forth and rock
Whites versus Reds, but frankly Reds can suck my 12 inch and widely sought after... penis"
He thus raised his hands, and the universe split
A perfect battlefield, a thousand mile wide Pit
The stars and the planets gathered in suspense
In a silky smooth baritone, ZanasCross bellowed, "LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE"
White wasted no time, leaping forth in attack
Red tried to fight back, they must have been on crack
With infinite wisdom, he reasoned, "Let us make this more fair
There shall be a throwdown, pair against pair"
ToxicConfusion chose his partner, "I summon Method Man,
The RZA, the GZA, Old Dirty Bastard, the Wu Tang Clan!"
ACG stepped forward, he needed a rapper unreal
But all he could think of was Shaquille O'Neal
ODB began strong, "Yo I started this crime
On the projects, ****ing powerful, I'm Optimus Rhyme
Originated from Shaolin, I'll cut your neck verbally
Shimmy shimmy ya, this ain't no ****ing hyperbole"
ZanasCross was excited, he wildly clapped
But unfortunately, as we all know, Shaq can't rap
"Traffic, traffic
Lookin for my chapstick"
ZanasCross stopped the madness, "White left me in awe"
Back and forth the teams went for days, White winning without flaw
Until Sonicxlover decreed, "I CHOOSE YOU, RATICATE!'
SeveralSpecies responded, "Pokemon? GO JOHN STAMO- Oh wait!"
Raticate tore through SeveralSpecies with a Super Fang
Much like a cruel 10-on-1 gangbang
ZanasCross laugh a belly laugh, "Pathetic, you guys lost the fight
And SeveralSpecies? moar like severalfeces, amirite?"
Shamed, Red was exiled down to hell
Until they got kicked out by Satan, what a douche



VS.


Red:
Woah Zanas‏

Oh my ZanasCross
ass tighter then Kate Moss
With his bulging biceps he nailed Jesus on a cross
Babe, I want to conquer you like Metroid's final boss

ZanasCross be da best mod in dis whole place
he a perfect specimen of da human race
Red Team be all up in yo face
team white's a disgrace

you nizzle dis fizzle red fo da wizzle
don't forget dis rap is bout ZanasCizzle
yeah motha ****a Z-to-da-anas-to-da-cross
hes better than Jesus, he be like mo bitchin den bear claws

I'll be romeo, you be my juliet
Together we'll perform the greatest gangbang duet
You hit the highs, I'll hit the lows
Together we'll take this as far as it goes

Woah Zanas, you crossed the line
You shouldn't be allowed to be so fine
I want to be on you until the end of time
I don't even care as long as you're all mine

boom bam pass da glock
Zanascross has 19 inch ****
like da rock
unlike dat nigga spock
Just check da clock
Cuz' its sex-O-****

I try real hard
just not as hard as you make me.
I sound like a tard
but I swear, I still love thee.
Oooooh marry me.

So get off your ass and leave ol' Kentucky
And get up to Jersey so that you can **** me.

in my bed,
in my head
sweet love'n till the end


So if you can't tell, by the end of this rant
Living without you is something I can't
So let me conclude by telling you this, Zanas
I would love nothing more, than to stick it in your anus.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#13
ZAPPP

Sand:
Z-to-the A-to the triple P

Oh he’s Z-to-the A-to the triple P!
A greater mod none of us did see!
With a username that could’ve been characters 3,
Such a miniscule name would not be worthy of he!

Thus the gods blessed him so - the awesomeness of elongation,
In not only his name, but in his tool of repopulation!
A tool so vast, that after masturbation,
He impregnated every female, with semen floods across the nation!

Ah, the fools Team Navy,
Who could write no word to praise thee;
A man whose sperm could flood the seas,
And legions of women simultaneously please.
But let us halt these tales of his man gravy,
Which we all wish we could see in .avi

Where would we be without this man, this man Zappp?
The one everyone would like in their lap,
The one whom if you seduced, would widen your gap,
The one who going down on, would require a map.

Oh he’s Z-to-the A-to the triple P!
Who made a difference to the worlds of you and me,
A man for whose mercy the very Gods do plea!
The holy creator of our own UG.



VS.


Navy:
The Creation, According to Genesis.‏

Zappp is the creator of all things good.
The world rejoices in his existence, as it should.
He faithfully stands by 3 Mighty P's;
With Pride, Power and Pandas
He founded UG!

He cried "let there be light!" On the first day
And soon guitarists seeking tabs, came flooding his way.
By day three he had constructed the forums
But this wasn't enough,
The fourth brought columns.

On the fifth day he sought out his mods,
He called them his angels for he was their god.
On the sixth day, profiles were born,
On the last day he rested
His fingertips worn.

As he looked around he saw all was good,
Adoring users kissed the very ground where he stood.
His world began to climb the ranks,
As tab websites were shut down,
Guitarists gave thanks.

He plays guitar and honors Slash,
His prized creation, the MPA could not abash.
Seeing his name makes girls the moist,
Should he step in the forums
All members rejoice!

I would like the man to sit on my lap,
With a few guitar tabs, he put Russia on the map.
Zappp surely is a real O.G.
(This could be a reference to
An album by Ice-T.)

You know that we all love you, come what may.
Maintaining dignity and restraint, whatever my teammates say.
Navy revere you like good subjects should,
Unlike pathetic Team Sand
Who surely never would.

Your name has 3 identical letters
And while we, as users, are forever your debtors,
I'm curious, did you not realize 'til afta'
That you typed "zappp" when you meant
To type "Zappa"?
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#15
team white is pathetic


edit:

Material that didn't make the cut

Yo baby, all the way out in Kentucky
I assure you that we don't need no T.V.
We'll read loads of novels about fantasy
Hey, it will be quite lovely

...

Baby, I know you think I'm vulgar
I know you think I'm sick
But a pirate would find you vulgar
If he'd seen you sucking on my lollipops

Yo, I've got so many lollipops
You'll be like woah stop
You got way too many lollipops
Honey this shits got to stop

...

I wanna sit beside you every morning as I eat corn flakes
Baby, I'll buy you Raisin Bran if that's all it takes
These feelings be true, darling my heart's at stake
You hurt me again I'll throw you in a lake
Last edited by Godsmack_IV at Nov 11, 2008,
#16
Beautiful, well done all

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#17
Plum team didn't use any of my ideas.

I lolled a the concept of "LimeRick Roll"
Gear:
Ibanez S470 (EMG 81/S/85)
Sigma DMC-15E
Laney VH100R
Laney 4x12 Cab
Ibanez Weeping Demon
M-Audio ProKeys 88
Mbox 3 Pro
KRK RP6 G2's
Plum Team FTW!

X
#18
Agh, I posted this in the other thread, but why is White's just one big mass? It was supposed to have seperate, rhyming lines.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
#19
Ours still sucks.
I still like it.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#21
Quote by Sonicxlover
Agh, I posted this in the other thread, but why is White's just one big mass? It was supposed to have seperate, rhyming lines.


did you send it in that way? maybe what you used o separate the lines isn't recognized on the message board?

edit: seems a bit long, did you go over 40 lines? Maybe that's why it got condensed.
#22
Quote by Sonicxlover
Agh, I posted this in the other thread, but why is White's just one big mass? It was supposed to have seperate, rhyming lines.


Re-send? Or link me. I'll update if you do.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#23
Quote by The Hurt Within
Re-send? Or link me. I'll update if you do.


Can I just post it on here?
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
#25
I think the yellow team one deserves extra merit for getting in the name of all the mods involved yet still kissing ass for captivate
#26
Quote by jimmy_neutron
I think the yellow team one deserves extra merit for getting in the name of all the mods involved yet still kissing ass for captivate
There isn't enough extra merit in the universe for you to top the genius of the sky blue entry.
#27
In the beginning, there was nothing, the universe was ruled
By Sonicxlover (White), SeveralSpecies (Red), and ZanasCross until an epic duel
With his infinite power, Zanas sought entertainment
A duel twixt great powers, of his personal ordainment
A battle of words where the Heroes would reign
With sword over pen and brawn under brain
White formed an army, with John Shaft, Optimus Prime, and the Joker
Red called Carrot Top, Keanu Reeves, and Al Roker
ZanasCross said unto White, "Go forth and rock
Whites versus Reds, but frankly Reds can suck my 12 inch and widely sought after... penis"
He thus raised his hands, and the universe split
A perfect battlefield, a thousand mile wide Pit
The stars and the planets gathered in suspense
In a silky smooth baritone, ZanasCross bellowed, "LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE"
White wasted no time, leaping forth in attack
Red tried to fight back, they must have been on crack
With infinite wisdom, he reasoned, "Let us make this more fair
There shall be a throwdown, pair against pair"
ToxicConfusion chose his partner, "I summon Method Man,
The RZA, the GZA, Old Dirty Bastard, the Wu Tang Clan!"
ACG stepped forward, he needed a rapper unreal
But all he could think of was Shaquille O'Neal
ODB began strong, "Yo I started this crime
On the projects, ****ing powerful, I'm Optimus Rhyme
Originated from Shaolin, I'll cut your neck verbally
Shimmy shimmy ya, this ain't no ****ing hyperbole"
ZanasCross was excited, he wildly clapped
But unfortunately, as we all know, Shaq can't rap
"Traffic, traffic
Lookin for my chapstick"
ZanasCross stopped the madness, "White left me in awe"
Back and forth the teams went for days, White winning without flaw
Until Sonicxlover decreed, "I CHOOSE YOU, RATICATE!'
SeveralSpecies responded, "Pokemon? GO JOHN STAMO- Oh wait!"
Raticate tore through SeveralSpecies with a Super Fang
Much like a cruel 10-on-1 gangbang
ZanasCross laugh a belly laugh, "Pathetic, you guys lost the fight
And SeveralSpecies? moar like severalfeces, amirite?"
Shamed, Red was exiled down to hell
Until they got kicked out by Satan, what a douche
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
#28
Quote by freedoms_stain
There isn't enough extra merit in the universe for you to top the genius of the sky blue entry.


we'll see about that


Quote by All The Mods

Yeah, The yellow team entry for the win





Please dont ban me
#31
Quote by jimmy_neutron
I think the yellow team one deserves extra merit for getting in the name of all the mods involved yet still kissing ass for captivate

Hmm...
Equipment:
- Art & Lutherie Cedar CW (SOLD! )
- Martin D-16RGT w/ LR Baggs M1 Active Soundhole Pickup
- Seagull 25th Anniversary Flame Maple w/ LR Baggs Micro EQ

Have an acoustic guitar? Don't let your guitar dry out! Click here.
#34
Quote by BobMarleysGhost
I lolled a the concept of "LimeRick Roll"

Limerick roll has a subtle genius to it I think everyone can admire (although most wont get it lol)

Heres a idea of mine that didnt get used, but THW might get a laugh at

steves no stranger to gloves
heres some digits, of the number pi
3.14 is what Im thinking of
you wouldnt get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you what im peeling
potatoes, then I'll wash them by hand

Trevors gonna give you up
Heathers gonna let you down
My mothers gonna gun you down and bury you
Leather whips make you cry
For ever you'll wonder why
Lime green came in your eye, and hurt you (within)



(Rhyme for rhyme its pretty close to never gunna give you up )


Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
#35
This is the first time I've seen Blues entry...I see my brilliant lines are at the start! =D
Quote by GodofGuitar1991
you are a real guitarist when you are not ashamed about masturbating to musicians friend magazine.
#36
Quote by goth clash
This is the first time I've seen Blues entry...I see my brilliant lines are at the start! =D


Same here... It f'ckin rawks!
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