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#1
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=997781&page=1


We shall resist!


Clearly only .1% of men are like that, and it blows trying to live up to those crappy standards. Let's make our own.


Each standard should be a continuation of the sentence: "My Next Girlfriend Will not..."

Example:
... dig into the Ben and Jerry's every time there's a break up on Laguna Beach.
The arena is empty except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
And long ago somebody left with the cup,
But he's driving and striving and hugging the turns...
#2
... will refrain from saying stupid things.
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#5
rape small dogs... too often
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#7
at your contribution TS

".... ever refuse sex.
Quote by alteredstates
If you are rowing down the road in your canoe and your wagon wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to make a doghouse?

Green, because a vest has no sleeves.

Can't we all just get a bong?
#8
My Girlfriend will not ...not exist
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#9
...interrupt me while watching the game or playing guitar.
Quote by Mudmen190
If loving ham makes me gay, I'm Rob Halford.


Quote by musiclover2399
MyNameIsLame just nailed it (actually both his statements did some nailing).


Quote by Oroborous
This is honestly the best first post I've ever seen


^^ Directed at me. E-peen wankery sigs ftw.

My Last.FM
#10
Quote by MyNameIsLame
That would be "will NOT".

In any case:

... will not interrupt me while watching the game or playing guitar.

TS wrote
"Each standard should be a continuation of the sentence: "My Next Girlfriend Will not...""
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#11
...complain about the poker group but go binge shopping every other Saturday.
The arena is empty except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
And long ago somebody left with the cup,
But he's driving and striving and hugging the turns...
#13
..cry during or after sex
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#16
... know about my current one
I've Made You A Drawing of a Giraffe Fucking an Elephant. Notice How His Moustache Looks Just Like Mine.

Your Mother's Got a Penis
#18
Will not follow a list of stupid rules?
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#21
....stick things where they don't belong.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#22
Quote by ughhhhhhhh
Will let me smoke pot.

Edit: ...Will not care if I smoke pot.


Edit: Edit: will smoke pot WITH me, then shall commence having sex while high
Quote by monkeysintheday
I have trained a live tarantula to calm and sit on my guitar due to the awesome powers of my rocking. When I am not playing it angrily bounces about my room hitting everything that isn't me.



Quote by stef123

rageagainst64 you are a legend!
#26
haha

Some of my favorites from the other thread:
Quote by aznrockerdude
Must wear a paper bag if attractiveness begins fading.


Quote by boreamor
Must not mind being replaced for a newer model.


Quote by Davus
Will never, ever, ever, ever, ever listen to Jonas Brothers or KidzBop.
My band, Escher
My progressive rock project, Mosaic

Quote by Lappo
clearly, the goal is to convert every thread into a discussion about BTBAM

BTBAM IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#28
Quote by urik
...get out of the kitchen.


...Will stay in the kitchen.

Except for smex
#29
Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
Will not follow a list of stupid rules?

and will not make a stupid list of rules.
Quote by Jackal58
If I was Santa you'd all get shit for Christmas.
#31
Quote by americnidiot
...have a penis

You're so picky


On the same note, the bitches who wrote the original list are really, really picky. People are people. If you love someone, you won't care about stupid little things like that.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#34
...make me anything but what isay
...rush me. At all.
...say anything negative about Satriani. Serious.
...listen to "pop"
...be taller than me, it's not right
...be older than me, not too strict on this one.
... be fat.
...ask me questions when i feel the need to walk around in just my pants.
...ask to rub my back, she should just start when I sit in front of her.
...wear loose clothes around me.
"We were one among the fence"
Quote by diofan88
You have no idea how many mornings my dad has woken up to me in my underroos rocking out in the morning...on a mission...A MISSION TO ROOOOCCCCKKKKK!!!!!
#36
...refuse to get on her knees when i say so


Made by 'The Sloganizer' ----> «The Pit - be prepared.»

Quote by imdeth


"Billy eat your broccolli!"

"Screw you mom!" *raises arms*

PHEAR MA TURRETS!!
#37
In reference to the list that the TS posted:

...expect me to be jesus and george clooney at the same time!
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
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