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#3
Quote by RU Experienced?
Go out west and wait at a crossroad in an isolated part of the desert.


Yeah this, but selling your soul isn't all it's hyped up to be. I had to convince a kid to guitar duel Steve Vai to get mine back.
Quote by Ed Hunter
I took out a fly with my jet of piss once. I felt like God!



“This is ridiculous; my job is to sit here and do this bloo-loo-loo-loo, bloo-loo-loo-loo” - Paul Gilbert on sweep picking.
#4
Have you tried ebay?
WILDCARD, BITCHES!!

Call me Patrick! My username sucks anyway
#5
Believe in God, then stop believing in him.

TAYROAR!!!! Its from The Simpsons! When bart sold his soul for moneyz!
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
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Last edited by brandon369852 at Nov 12, 2008,
#6
Crossroads at midnight
Quote by sneyob
Saw extended blue dick,
clicked X.

Sorry,
force of habit


Quote by Bmm386

There is only one solution. We need to bomb outer space. That should show those terrorist bastards who's who
#7
Quote by zippidyduda
Have you tried ebay?


or craigslist. Might be easier if he's local?
Quote by Guitar0player
You're Thurstonsexual

Happily E-Married to En_zed
The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead.
-- Arthur Honegger

Enjoy reading? Please crit my work .
#8
You will need:

1 or more black, blue or red candles (as many as you like)
A sterilized needle or razor
A piece of clean paper, large enough to write the prayer below
A dry pen, where you sign your name in blood (dip the ip of the pen in your blood)
Write the following prayer:


Before the almighty and ineffable God Satan/Lucifer and in the presence of all Demons of Hell, who are the True and the Original gods, I, (state your full name) renounce any and all past allegiances. I renounce the false Judeo/Christian god Jehova, I renounce his vile and worthless son Jesus Christ, I renounce his foul, odious, and rotten holy spirit.

I proclaim Satan Lucifer as my one and only God. I promise to recognize and honor him in all things, without reservation, desiring in return, his manifold assistance in the successful completion of my endeavors.

It is important to bathe before any rituals you perform, this is done out of respect. When you are ready, you can light the candle. Take the needle, prick the index finger of your left hand, squeeze some blood out.

Sign your name in blood.

Recite the prayer either aloud or in your head

Fold the paper and let it burn in the fire of the candle. Many of us have stayed and meditated until the candle had burned itself out.

At the end of the ritual, close with the words "So mote it be." And a Big "HAIL SATAN!!"

durr
#9
Quote by TheRavenEffekt
Yeah this, but selling your soul isn't all it's hyped up to be. I had to convince a kid to guitar duel Steve Vai to get mine back.


Yeah and i had to battle him with a tele and a glass slide
Wear the eye patch Bret, Wear the Funky Funky eye patch...


Quote by Tallman

You, sir, should be knighted.

_____________________________________________________________________________
Last edited by coolo : Today at 00:00 AM. Reason: ???
#11
Go to a crossroads. Then the devil will come and have a contract for you. You should probably just sell your soul to become amazing at sex I mean you only have one soul to sell, if you have the choice at being the best **** in the world and being the best guitarist in the world which one is better?
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#13
Find a place where you can be isolated without anyone hearing or interfering and say, "I'd give anything for the skills to pay the bills." (Emphasize anything.) If the scene is isolated and spooky enough, the devil will appear behind you and say, "Anything?"

From there, negotiate as you please.
No animals were harmed in order to bring you the above post. However, several photons were greatly inconvenienced.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-TOAD
#14
Quote by x_thurston_x
or craigslist. Might be easier if he's local?


Ah, true. Just make sure Satan has a PayPal account if you are going to mail. Otherwise, its a real bitch
WILDCARD, BITCHES!!

Call me Patrick! My username sucks anyway
#15
Quote by Putrefaction
*ritual*

Fold the paper and let it burn in the fire of the candle. Many of us have stayed and meditated until the candle had burned itself out.

At the end of the ritual, close with the words "So mote it be." And a Big "HAIL SATAN!!"

durr


have you done this? i don't think i've actually met someone who's sold his soul to the devil.
#16
Quote by coolo
Yeah and i had to battle him with a tele and a glass slide


Yeah that Steve is a tricky guy to beat. Luckily my kid had his classical influences . He was also a spitting image of the Karate Kid.
Quote by Ed Hunter
I took out a fly with my jet of piss once. I felt like God!



“This is ridiculous; my job is to sit here and do this bloo-loo-loo-loo, bloo-loo-loo-loo” - Paul Gilbert on sweep picking.
#17
Quote by dudius
have you done this? i don't think i've actually met someone who's sold his soul to the devil.


I just googled "how to sell your soul to satan"
#18
Its a terribly slow and painful process, your limited only to classical,shred, or some virtuoso bullshit.
Eventually, you will rapidly gain weight at a massive pace, then you become the butt of every guitar joke possible.. its terrible really.
Digital Distribution sucks.
#19
Yeah if you do it though be prepared to wait on people to walk through automatic sliding doors for you because they will no longer open for you.

e-cookies for referance
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#20
Quote by tayroar
Yeah if you do it though be prepared to wait on people to walk through automatic sliding doors for you because they will no longer open for you.

e-cookies for referance



The Simpsons! When bart sold his soul for moneyz
#21
Quote by eddiethehead888
The Simpsons! When bart sold his soul for moneyz


Ha, I win. Refer to post #5.
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
Follow me on Twitter
#23
Quote by eddiethehead888
Damn you and your time machines!


I just wanted to get one funny joke in before I head off to bed.

Nighty night.
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
Follow me on Twitter
#26
'member to get down on your knees...'cause that's what a soul costs...a blow-job...hehehehehe...he...
#27
Did you guys hear that Alf is back? In pog form!
founding member of the Bill Bailey fan club (assuming there isn't already one)

proudly not an overly proud vegetarian
#28
Quote by eddiethehead888
WHAT!? No pictures of the cookie?

WEll fine then, but you get a cookie too Tayroar, this one:


Looks like that cookie was pulverized.

*slaps knee*
#29
Quote by InvaderTSN
Looks like that cookie was pulverized.

*slaps knee*

I'm not seeing the joke here.
#30
Quote by Flying Couch
I'm not seeing the joke here.


It's a song by Cannibal Corpse off The Bleeding.

Would've gone with Fucked with a Knife to make it more obvious, but that wouldn't make sense at all.
#31
Quote by skaterskagg1
Anyone know how i could sell my soul to the devil? i want the skills to pay the bills.
aw nubcakes, that's your mistake. the devil wants the unwilling.
it's more fun for him to turn them to the darkside.

you totally trashed any bargaining power you might have had, by announcing your willingness.


Your Soul ........................The Devil
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#33
You can't. The devil and god are made up by people afraid to believe that they are all alone in the universe.

/atheism
#34
Quote by dingmydong
Did you guys hear that Alf is back? In pog form!

simpsons ftw
#35
find the stairway to heaven and go the opposite way towards the highway to hell then go to hell and talk to him!
#36
I knew there would be a cornucopia of Crossroads references.

I was not disappointed.

Flam·boy·ant
French, from participle of flamboyer to flame
1:Characterized by waving curves suggesting flames
2:Marked by or given to strikingly elaborate or colorful display or behavior

#37
Pee in a bucket it and feed it to a walrus. Then when the walrus starts to sprout wings you shoot it with a sniper rifle in the right tusk. Then the devil will come out and you can sell anything you want to him.
#38
Join a band with Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and John Bonham. (Time machine may be needed for that last one).

Insert suspicious sounding lyrics into your songs, so people will listen to them backwards and yell "ZOMG HIDDEN MESSAGES."

Finally, mime a solo at the Olympics.
#39
Quote by st.stephen
You can't. The devil and god are made up by people afraid to believe that they are all alone in the universe.

/atheism

shhhhh
wrong
god and satan are aliens
to sell your soul you gottta put it out on a tranmition in space and in around 40 years he will reply....
#40
''The soul is just something parents make up to scare kids like the boogie man or Micheal Jackson!''
I See Through The Darkness My Way Back Home...
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