#1
i dont write lyrics, i write music, that being said

Untitled
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she falls up, never down
youll never see her frown
loves to hang around and kisses in the
dark, runs around the park
like a bridges arch
I knew I needed her from the start


thats all i got so far, not sure what to do for a chorus and other verses
#2
The rhymes are too direct and simple. Try to use slant rhymes because they often sound more natural.
#3
in my mind
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she falls up, never down
youll never see her frown
loves to hang around town and kisses in the
dark, knows when to start
coloring her part
like wind through the trees, she tugs on my heart

O how a girl such as this
if only one would exist
i would travel away from this
but shes only
in my mind


i dont think i was able to take your advice very well
i think it fits alright with the music........perhaps perhaps
Last edited by tands at Dec 4, 2008,
#6
just keep at it, the harder you work at it the better your results are going to be!
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